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August 23, 2019, 10:53:49 AM
628525 Posts in 48641 Topics by 6621 Members
Latest Member: Dvoetvlag Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  a batch of new viewings « previous next »
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Author Topic: a batch of new viewings  (Read 6493 times)
« on: February 28, 2001, 08:19:37 PM »

Well, here's what I watched while I was out of work sick.

Python:  a veritable b-movie all-star fest!  Casper Van Dien (doing a southern accent?), Robert Englund, the bad blonde karate villain from Karate Kid, Isaac from Children of the Corn, and the triumphant return of Wil Wheaton (with pink hair!).  Very funny, in fact funnier than Anaconda.  These are the kind of rip-offs I value.  And any time I can see Jenny McCarthy get decapitated I'm happy.  3 slimes.

Scary Movie and Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th: Oh-my-f**king-God.  I only watched these so I would feel justified in my hatred of them.  Not funny.  They seem to derive their "humor" out of parodying what are already parodies.  The tongue-in-cheek horror that winks at the audicene while killing off stupid high school kids.  These have already been talked about, so I'll leave it at that.  I've seen Pigs.  Pigs is bad.  These movies, friends, are worse than Pigs.  A skull apiece.

Ninja Apocalypse:  So-so ninja flick.  A little gratuitous sex, too.  2 1/2 slimes.

Monster Dog: Very fun.  I like Alice Cooper's b-movie turn as a werewolf (maybe, maybe not?).  Decent gore, particularly shotgun-to-the-head guy.  Bad dialogue delivered earnestly.  3 slimes.

Night of the Creeps: I've liked Fred Dekker's work.  Robocop 3 was fun, and The Monster Squad is a classic.  This would have been better if I watched it at the time it came out.  Some funny moments, decent gore.  3 slimes.

The Pod: I couldn't even watch it.  Two ugly middle-aged couples on a fishing trip.  Something in the water wants to have sex with something and reproduce.  Sound good?  Don't be fooled.  It's not.  Skull.

All in all, it was a way to pass a few days.
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2001, 08:51:28 PM »

Will, you said of The Pod...

Something in the water wants to have sex with something and reproduce.

I take it that the something is not gender specific?  Hmmmm bi-sexual creatures, the possibilites.

I CANNOT wait to see Python.  Why?  I don't know.  It's got a monster and I love monsters more than anything.
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2001, 09:03:41 PM »

Just thought you might get a kick out of this. The first movie I took my
wife to was night of the creeps and I'm still with her. She does'nt share
my love for great film and for revenge I play the tape still gives her the creeps aint love grand!
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2001, 04:36:06 AM »

Mmmm, Squishy like "skulls." Squishy love "Pigs," indeedy-do, sing theme song all-time. But Poor Squishy, he no can find "The Pod." Is new? Is old? Is something No-Pants Jarrod from down the block shot behind the gas station Tuesday night drunk? Help Squishy. Squishy like "skulls"...
Mofo Rising
« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2001, 04:41:28 AM »

Squishy, you are a true fan if you honestly enjoy the skulls.  I like bad movies, but movies I consider skulls I stay away from.  Hell, my major skull, PARENTS, I tried to watch again but gave up after 20 minutes.

So, even though it's unrelated to this thread, what are your personal skulls?
« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2001, 05:22:04 PM »

Waitaminit ... not Parents with Randy Quaid!?! That's no skull! That's a darned fine movie! I saw that in a theater. I had that taped back-to-back with Nice Girls Don't Explode. Both fun 'family' flicks of the decade.

You want skull? Go rent Dr. Gore (aka Body Shop) ... it might alter your Skull perceptions.
« Reply #6 on: March 01, 2001, 11:27:38 PM »

I found it entertaining for the same reasons as Three on a Meathook, though obviously not as good as that.  i missed the whole William Girdler discussion way back when.....I live in Kentucky and am a huge fan of his.  And here's a coincidence....Steve Durland, who gave you stuff on James Pickett III, does some contract web work for the organization I work for.  Small world.
« Reply #7 on: March 02, 2001, 12:41:24 AM »

Love it or hate it, Dr. Gore is still a skull. I honestly can't see how it could be anything less.

Steve Durland must think me a complete loon! He was really nice about stuff, though. I bombarded the poor fellow with more than he probably ever cared to know about the secret B-movie past of James Pickett.

And hey ... Girdler discussion isn't a fleeting thing: it's a lifestyle. Um ... boy, what does that say about me?
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2001, 06:10:41 AM »

Movies I will die before watching again are encased in parentheses.

Any movie where the audience is expected or encouraged to ENJOY the abject humiliation, torture, beating, or murder of an innocent (including children and animals) for the sake of tittilation, with little or no genuine sympathy for the victim--or the audience. ("Pet Semetary," "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels," "Congo") I know, that means 95% of all modern comedies, slasher flicks, action thrillers, commericals, and daytime TV. Believe me...I know.

Boring or predictable crap, especially if foisted off as "art" or at least high-grade big-budget entertainment or attempting to hide behind lots and lots of FX; boring or predictable and self-important crap that refrains from going over-the-top to become funny like, say, "Judge Dredd," "King Kong Lives" or "Pigs." ("Deep Rising," "Episode One," "Godzilla"--you know which one, smartasses--and "Mutant," which was so boring I walked out with what turned out to be less than ten minutes left to go. The others I wanted to walk out on so badly I was on the verge of tears/violence. Oh yeah, "Congo" again. AND "Pet Semetary." Again.)

Crap with hideously unfunny comedians in the starring role (Pauly Shore, Carrot Top, David Arquette, Steven Seagal). Okay, Seagal isn't a comedian. And I will watch his garbage on TV, for free, just to laugh at his sanctimonious drivel, just like I'll make myself sit through something with the keywords "Billy" and "Jack" in the title. But I won't pay to see it, not even the 99-cent rental.

So what do I like? Fun. Over-the-top, outside-the-box, no-pants, rubber-monster-suit fun. Not hate-filled, violent depresso-s**t. FUN. It's so rare today. Even some TV commercials are making me wonder about their directors' "issues." I don't go to the theatre much anymore.
Warren H.
« Reply #9 on: March 02, 2001, 12:29:17 PM »

Enough of the current glut of mean-spirited crap.  Let's have FUN returned to our movies.  Ironically, the only movie I've seen lately that was obviously made to be fun was, "The Skulls."  The one with Pacey from Dawson's Creek.  The part during the car chase when the stupid girl drives into a mound of flour and fireworks just piled onto some railroad tracks cracks me up to no end.
« Reply #10 on: March 02, 2001, 12:43:38 PM »

Okay, I'll grant that.  You're right.....Girdler is a lifestyle.  Three on a Meathook brought me in, Asylum of Satan solidified my affection, Grizzly made me fall in love.
« Reply #11 on: March 02, 2001, 01:25:20 PM »

I think what makes a lot of older "classic" genre movies some much more fun is that they were simply made to entertain, nothing more.  One of the most gag inducing comments I have read was the producer of Dr. Giggles discussing that movie (which is a solid skull in my book -it's just meaningless and painful to watch).  First, of course, was the mantra of Hollywood in regards to Dr. Giggles "Ii is not a horror film."  Yeah right, and Debbie Does Dallas is not a porn movie.  Second, and this made my jaw drop reading this, "Dr. Giggles is a psychological thriller that examines people's innate fear of those in the medical profession."


One of the biggest, and saddest, fall outs of sixties and seventies cinema was the need to preach, to slam people over the head with some kind of important message.  This festered in the eighties when most everybody was convinced that we were all gonna die in a nuclear holocaust (Dreamscape, The Day After, Testament - even Day of the Dead can be viewed as a nuclear war parable) are from some nasty disease, so we got a slew of We Are Doomed Lest We Change Our Evil White Man Ways.  I guess that filmmakers felt that by being nasty it made the movie and its message much more serious.  Naw, just distasteful.
« Reply #12 on: March 02, 2001, 03:26:18 PM »

I firmly agree...its a fine line ,and tends to be subjective, but additude, the "Spirit" you sense in a film, has a lot to do with why you see it more then once. The Addams Family movies are a good example. The amiable loonecy therein ,and the boldly unreal quality make it work for me. Raul Julia as Gomez was great! And Anjelica Huston was just right as Mortica,Chris L. as Fester...Need i say more? "Don't torture your self darling...thats my job." Perfect delivery of a freat line...Ah,so many lines, so little bandwidth. In short,i wolud call it,oh, the proper blend of the weird and the clever.               Oh,and Pauly Shore must die.    Figureitivly.
peter johnson
« Reply #13 on: March 02, 2001, 08:16:11 PM »

Gawd, Squish-man, you write well & seem to have well-thought-out taste & opinions, but I enjoyed Dirty Rotten Scoundrels as a "caper flick", which I think of as a genre.  I didn't find it mean-spirited, just looney.  
Boy, 2 people can see the same thing and come away with such different impressions, can't they?
You seem to dig gore, which I generally avoid as I don't find it entertaining,but I did see a gore-filled fun flick once that I haven't seen discussed here -- Dentist 2 anyone?  Now I really don't care for blood & guts beyond the Hammer level, but this thing was so over-the-top scenery-chewing hammy-fun-bad that I had to watch it again -- and I'm told Dentist 1 is even funnier.
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