Review - Darkly Dawns The Duck

DARKLY DAWNS THE DUCK
1991, Walt Disney

THE CHARACTERS:

Drake Mallard / Darkwing Duck: Purple-clad, up-and-coming superhero with "an ego the size of a small planet." The self-proclaimed defender of St. Canard, although initially he's only in the business for the publicity. Sick of busting common crooks, he longs to battle "a really big-time criminal."

Gosalyn Waddlemeyer: Energetic and mischievous little tyke, raised by her grandfather Professor Waddlemeyer after the death of her parents. After Waddlemeyer's death she's been living as an orphan. Has the bad luck of not just having the Ramrod's arming code, but not even knowing about it.

Launchpad McQuack: Clumsy, down on his luck pilot who is Darkwing's biggest (and only) fan. He's got a whole scrapbook of Darkwing's newspaper clippings, though he himself admits it's not a very big scrapbook. Yearns to become Darkwing's sidekick.

Taurus Bulba: Tim Curry! The biggest, baddest criminal in St. Canard who despite being in prison is concocting an evil scheme to use Professor Waddlemeyer's invention, the Ramrod, to rob St. Canard blind. Speaks with a thick South African accent and is fond of tacky neon-orange ties.

Hammer-Head Hannigan: Leader of Taurus Bulba's henchmen, a surly individual who talks, dresses, and acts like a 1930s gangster, complete with pinstriped suit. As his name implies, his favorite method of attacking someone is to headbutt them. Not surprisingly, this tactic doesn't always work.

Clovis: Taurus Bulba's lovely assistant/girlfriend. Arguably the only intelligent person he has working for him, she is also his personal pilot and has an odd habit of referring to him by his full name all the time. Her mother wanted her to be a dental hygienist.

Hoof: One of Taurus Bulba's henchmen, a fairly dopey-looking guy who dresses like he belongs in a barber shop quartet. He is also apparently incapable of speech, as he never utters a word.

Mouth: Another one of Taurus Bulba's henchmen. A fat, annoying, talkative little twerp, he receives many well-deserved poundings from Hammer-Head and generally acts like he's hopped up on caffeine.

Tantalus: Taurus Bulba's faithful pet condor and the story's only non-anthropomorphic character. Interestingly enough, he's more reliable than Hammer-Head, Hoof, and Mouth combined.

Professor Waddlemeyer: Gosalyn's grandfather and the inventor of the Ramrod. He was killed by Taurus Bulba's henchmen before the story takes place, and we only see him in a photograph that Gosalyn has.

Mrs. Cavanaugh: Director of the St. Canard Orphanage. A bit of an airhead, she seems to make an unhealthy habit out of allowing the kids in her care to go off with strangers claiming to be grape jelly stains.

Warden: Dope in the charge of the unnamed prison where Taurus Bulba is briefly incarcerated. A very arrogant individual, he takes pride in the fact his prison holds the city's biggest criminal and stages daily gloats over Bulba.

Dastardly Delinquents: A gang of common crooks, consisting of three bikers and two guys in a pickup truck, busted by Darkwing early on.

THE STORY:

Okay, technically this isn't a movie. This is actually the first few episodes of Disney's TV series Darkwing Duck. This is in the vein of their Gargoyles, whose first few episodes they slapped together to create Gargoyles The Movie: The Heroes Awaken, and something I believe they also did with their atrocious Mighty Ducks.

In fact I was originally going to a review for that very "film," but I couldn't find my copy of it. Naturally, I turned to its older (and in many cases lesser) cousin, which spawned this review, since just about everybody I've watched it with has hated it. This will probably be the only animated feature I'll review, and I certainly won't do any mainstream Disney, because I have a particular disdain for it. I just chose this because I'm told it's a pretty scarce flick and not very well known.

In any case, on with the review. Bring on the pain!

Darkwing Duck is a budding superhero in the sprawling metropolis of St. Canard, who is tired of busting ordinary crooks. He longs for a big break and the chance to fight a real supervillain, and craves the publicity that comes with it. But he gets more than he bargained for when he stumbles onto the latest scheme of Taurus Bulba, who, despite serving a 99-year prison sentence, has masterminded an evil plan from inside his cell revolving around a powerful antigravity beam weapon called the Ramrod. Outclassed, Darkwing is unable to stop Hammer-Head, Hoof, and Mouth from stealing the Ramrod from the train bringing it into St. Canard despite the, um, "assistance" given to him by Launchpad McQuack, who wants to be his sidekick. Angered that the villains got away, Darkwing rudely brushes off his only fan.

Meanwhile, even though he now has the Ramrod, Taurus Bulba does not know the arming code, having killed Professor Waddlemeyer before learning it. He sends Hammer-Head, Hoof, and Mouth to kidnap Gosalyn, the professor's granddaughter and only living relative, who was "practically raised in his lab," on the gamble that she knows the code. Darkwing foils the kidnapping attempt, coming to Gosalyn's rescue after learning that Professor Waddlemeyer had raised a granddaughter. In the process, however, he learns that he has been framed for stealing the Ramrod! With both the police and Bulba's henchmen hot on his trail, Darkwing takes Gosalyn to the only safe place he knows, his hideout in the tower of the Audubon Bay Bridge.

When Hammer-Head, Hoof, and Mouth return empty-handed, Taurus Bulba realizes he is going to have to take matters into his own hands. With the help of Clovis and his giant airship (which is shaped like a bull's head), he escapes prison and sets out to find Darkwing.

Although she swears she does not know the arming code to the Ramrod, Gosalyn inadvertently reveals it to Darkwing in the form of a lullaby that her grandfather used to sing to her.

Taurus Bulba makes his move, having deduced that he can use Darkwing's ego against him. Luring the hero into the open with a false promise that he will surrender, Bulba discovers where Darkwing's hideout is and manages to capture Gosalyn! Darkwing meanwhile finds himself arrested by the police for the theft of the Ramrod. When all seems lost, Darkwing is busted out of jail by Launchpad, and, together, they fly to Taurus Bulba's airship in Launchpad's customized, fan-made jet, the Thunderquack, to rescue Gosalyn and have a final climactic showdown with Bulba. After boarding the airship he is captured by Hammer-Head, Hoof, and Mouth. Bulba has decided he'll never get the code from Gosalyn, but he's willing to bet that Darkwing knows it. He has Tantalus grab her and fly her high into the air, threatening to drop her to her death if Darkwing doesn't comply. He finally gives in and enters the code into the Ramrod's control panel. Bulba won't let Gosalyn go until he's had a successful test of the weapon.

His test is successful as he uses the Ramrod to steal the entire federal gold depository! Now that he no longer needs Gosalyn, he orders Tantalus to drop her. Drop her does, but thankfully she's rescued in the nick of time by Launchpad in the Thunderquack. Taking the opportunity, Darkwing begins to randomly press buttons on the control panel, causing the Ramrod to overload! It fires its antigravity beam wildly, first zapping Hammer-Head, Hoof, and Mouth and making them all float away, then hitting Bulba's airship, causing it to crash into the bay. Unwilling to let Darkwing escape, Bulba seizes the superhero and holds him in a bearhug as the overloading Ramrod finally explodes around them.

Watching from the Thunderquack, Gosalyn is mortified. The following day Gosalyn is returned to the orphanage, and is overjoyed when a badly injured Drake Mallard, bearing more than a passing resemblance to Darkwing Duck, arrives looking to adopt her . . .

I'm told that, originally, this aired as an hour-long TV special on the Disney Channel in April of 1991. I actually recall it being a two-part thing as opposed to how it appears on the tape. Reenforcing this belief is that fact the animation style changes drastically halfway through, going from soft colors and "sketchy" characters a la Disney's "classic" animations, to the bright colors and solid lines of their standard Saturday morning fare.

It subsequently found its way onto a home video release, obviously, although it had a very short run and is apparently difficult to find nowadays, but not impossible.

The story's pretty standard, but at a brisk 48 minutes (it was trimmed down when it made its way to video), it's never boring, and as far as Disney villains go, I've always thought Taurus Bulba was both charismatic and fun (due in no small part to the wonderful Tim Curry's voice), and underrated as a whole, not to mention criminally underused in the Darkwing Duck series itself. He only appeared one other time, in the episode entitled The Steerminator, where he returned as a freakish robot/cyborg thing. And spekaing of voices, none other then The Simpsons' Marcia Wallace (Mrs. Krabapple) does the voices for both Clovis and Mrs. Cavanugh here, and Eddie Deezen of Grease fame (Eugene) is the ever-annoying Mouth.

And don't fret, soon I'll be turning out reviews for much better, non-animated films that fall into the sci-fi/horror/action categories.

Oh, and unlike The Guyver, I was actually able to throw together a little "Things I learned . . ." list.

THINGS I LEARNED:

1. Darkwing Duck is the terror that flaps in the night, the switch that derails your train, the thing that goes bump in the night, the neurosis that requires a $500 an hour shrink, the jailer who throws away the key, the surprise in your cereal box, and the chill that runs up your spine.

2. Criminals don't wear seat belts.

3. Never, ever, under any circumstance, forget the milk!

4. Prisons come equipped with gigantic airships for quick and easy escape.

5. Security for a dangerous and top-secret weapon consists of only two soldiers.

6. Randomly punching buttons on a dangerous and top-secret weapon will cause it to overload and explode.

7. Drastic times call for drastic action!

8. Kids are supposed to be irresponsible.

9. The world's worst pilot can build a high-tech, customized jet by himself in just a year.

10. Horses are related to turtles.

Post Edited (08-16-03 07:08)