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peachstapler
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« on: July 18, 2001, 05:20:44 AM » |
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One day I was walking in the forest. It was a lonely day; overcast skies were blocking the warm, Kentucky sun, the birds were mostly silent, and a chill autumn wind rustled the leaves of the old oak trees. I had traveled this path before, exactly fourteen months to this day. The trip seemed much longer than the first time I had been to the site, but finally I had arrived at the grave of the little girl whose life I had abruptly ended fourteen months prior. She was seven years young, as I remember. The grave was shallow and it was in a section of the forest where it would not see the light of the sun for many days. As I began to dig, the earth was cold and damp. Finally a tattered piece of a black garbage bag poked out of the soil. I knew I had found her. Carefully, I brushed away the remaining soil with a turkey-baster to reveal the full, ramshackle trash bag, ridden with holes from which small bones protruded. Perhaps fingers? Perhaps little toes? I was unsure, but my body riddled with anticipation, so I reached to my pants and unzipped my drawers and began to masturbate on the resting-place. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere those damn dirty apes appeared and started throwing grapes at me. Those apes must have practiced throwing grapes because they kept hitting me right in the nuts. So instead of standing there and taking anymore punishment I decided to run, and run I did, right into the biggest tree. I ran into it so hard that I actually shattered my left testicle. Well since the apes were so nice to put me in a holding cell that seemed to be made out children’s play dough and a small hint of feces I felt quite at home. I hate to see all of my life end up like this, so I decided to make a plan to escape this terrible cell that the apes put me into. So i reached into my pocket and pulled out the largest ice pick i had and began to jam it into my ass over and over again. I lost complete and utter control of my body; my temperture went from 98.6 degrees to what had to be somewhere in the 110's since I began bleeding from the ears, nose, and rectum...well, I'm not certain my body temperature induced bloodflow from the rectum, that might have occurred because I had jammed a giant piece of steel up into it. Things in my body began to turn a new course; the pores on my arms and legs started to leek grape jelly and I strangely had the sudden urge to f**k dogs. My eyes swelled to the size of baseballs and my toes began to pop like the little plastic sacs of air you find in packages. I was in bad shape, but lucky for me I had instructed my homosexual companion to follow me closely at all times (he and I participated in several gay art-masochism experimentos lately and we had consequently injured ourselves by piercing our scrotums with tire irons and beating our testicles into a raw, red mash with crab hammers). There he was, gleaming in the Kentucky sunshine, like a greased stallion awaiting his punishment (which I had imagined as a bath in a tub of vinegar at 4AM) but anyway, he strode to my rescue, took me in his arms, and carried me to a bright, white Utopia where I was pleasured with an oatmeal bath while my wounds were dressed and I was glazed in honey, then washed with a Wacky Lawn Weasel Garden Hose and laid down in a bed a white satin and rose petals. I slept like a child. The next morning I woke up to look for my homosexual partner. I adventured almost blindly through the kitchen, yet I found no sign of his magnificent buttocks. I stumbled through the bathhouse, yet still no sign. I cried his name through all 47 benevolent acres of lush, green estate, and all I heard was the return of my echo and the shrieks of the half dozen wall-bound schoolboys in the garden. Why God? Why did you take him from me!?!? I was on my own. I gathered my remaining clothes and a bottle of KY jelly and headed down the avenue, past the tall iron gates of the mansion, and down the wood-lined streets of what seemed to be western Ohio. However, I couldn't be certain of that. I feel that I could have finally freed myself of the dirty secret that really is nothing more than my mother's ridicule of my childhood obsession, playing with her sex toys and cutting baby snakes into pieces with a kitchen knife. I could still feel the warm, July cement under my bottom. However, I had no time to reminisce, I did not need to be in Ohio, especially the western region. Lord knows it's filled with raving cattle-raping idiots. Anyhow, this lady comes up to me, out of the f**king woods, and starts ranting about PCI video cards plugging them into a 386 with 1.024GB SDRAM and I tell her to f**k off. Jesus Christ! So she keeps on following me asking about compatibility issues between the Voodoo 3 3000 AGP and a Frito Lay's Tater Skin Chip, so I turn around and punch her in the c**t as hard as I can. That b***h fell down on the asphalt like a board. I could still hear her moaning as I wandered down the road, down the mountain trail, and all...after several days and almost a dozen new sex partners, all of which had raped me in the wooded Ohio forests, I came to a town called Nilbog. (yeah, you know what I'm talking about) These people, I kid you not...these f**king people were all retarded. I s**t you not, imagine a town square filled with mentally retarded people dragging their feet on the cement, chasing each other around shouting strange mutterings, beating the brick courthouse with their curled, mutated billy fist and crying for celery with peanut butter. Feces flew through the air and urine and half-eaten Ritz Bitz crackers littered the sidewalks. Looting was made possible by a rather large retard who threw himself into the glass front of a barbershop, from which several black retards began spraying wheelchair citizens with shaving creme and urinating on themselves. Through all this chaos and desolation, I found myself feeling the same as when I was in the forest by that little girl's secret grave. The tingling began in my groin, and soon, my entire body was burning with anticipation of gay male sex. But f**k that! I was randy with a scorching need to distribute my demon seed throughout anyone and anything with an orifice. And so, I ransacked the townspeople and raped them in the buttocks, using any available lubricant possible, whether it be V8 juice, hairstyling gel, or the occasional container of lowfat mayonnaise.
I felt power, I felt control, and most of all, I felt like I had found my call in life. I strided out of town that day in the sunlight as a retard drug his violated body in my shadow, scarping his half-chubby against the blacktop, bleeding and moaning. Thank God I was able to relieve my sexual tension, because later that week I was about to embark on a journey that would make my last few days seem like childs' play. I spent the next couple days in an oil drum in a freight trucker bound for Colorado Springs. I had spent my time counting sheep, and I had hence named my right testicle "p**s" and my left testicle "vinegar". I was on the road to the unknown, but then again, that was the story of my life. But its my life and I can live it anyway I want. Even if I like f**king the elderly and most police officers. But who am i. just another person wasting time, money, and oxygen. So what I say is f**k life, f**k everything and everyone. Just because I have nothing else to lose. Well here we go, I’m off to live a new life. One that won't allow me to make mistakes because mistakes are nothing more than things that you wish you never did. But if you don't care then there’s no fear, you can do what ever you want guilt free. That’s when I decided to make a move and buy some ice cream. I love ice cream the way it tastes even the cone. I love the way it drips down my hand and onto my pants. I have to wipe myself up; I seem to be making a mess. "Excuse me little boy could you show me where the bathroom is?" I stammered. The boy quietly says, " I think..." by this time I already have placed my throbbing cock in the young boys mouth to the point of almost choking him. Thirty minutes later his mother walks into the MENS room with a police officer, finding me and my new found friend naked and scream because just as they were walking in, I was pouring HOT chocolate into the boy’s ass with a funnel. The mother screams and passes out. The officer says, "Freeze or I’ll take you down." So I throw the boy at the officer. Their heads collide with each other... It's been weeks since the mother of this boy has eaten or slept because her only company now was her rotting son, and an officer hemorrhaging from the anus. Amidst all the confusion in this world, despite all the terror and pain I have ridden on innocent folks, I knew that something was missing from my life, something I yearned for, something that I had needed, but was long denied...The birds were chirping up a storm. "Sounds like swallows. "
"Wait. There aren't any swallows in the desert. Maybe it's some type of insect that just sounds like a bird."
"Is that fog? Now, how can there be fog in the desert?"
As his eyes opened, Slim realized that he'd been dreaming. Except for the birds chirping. It's funny how sounds can make their way into a dream. Have you ever had that happen? The radio is playing in your dream and you wake up and it's your clock radio, with the morning DJ's running their mouths, the traffic guy's on with his fake helicopter noise, and some terrible, not to mention fabricated for the masses, N'Sync song is playing in the background? I hate that.
"Got to get up."
Slim rolls to his feet and stumbles over a weeks’ worth of laundry on his way to the shower. "Got to get that crap done tonight," he mumbles to himself.
Blaring light from the overhead bulbs in the bathroom blind his sleep deprived eyes. "Need toothpaste," as he squeezes the last onto his worn toothbrush, "maybe a new toothbrush too." A minute of quick strokes and a rinse is all it takes. He opens the shower curtain and stumbles into the tub. "God, I gotta get some sleep tonight too. Work is gonna suck."
Ten minutes later he's back in front of the lights, shaving, brushing his hair. "Need deodorant too." It's 8:15am, out the door.
The lady that cleans the entranceway of the apartments is on her way up the sidewalk hauling a vacuum and a bucket. "Hi," she smiles on her way by. "Hello," still mumbling.
Another hot day in the south, without air conditioning in the car the ride to work would be unbearable. As Slim heads up the road to the main thoroughfare he notices an ambulance ahead and a cop moving a gurney across the road. "Crap, I'm not waiting for that," moans Slim as he takes a left into the car wash. Passing the empty stalls and industrial strength vacuum cleaner he takes a right back onto a side street. Others are noticing the accident and heading this way too. "Glad I got through before everyone else, " he smiles. "Maybe today won't be so bad after all. Yeah, right!"
Heading back towards the main street with the other traffic, mind wandering, Slim starts thinking about why were the birds even here, what ever happened to the hemorrhaging officer, where was his gleaming white and oily homosexual fantasy? And amidst all the confusion he remembered only the little girl and her shallow grave in the cold, wooded oak forest.
THE END
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