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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Stuff I saw this week « previous next »
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Author Topic: Stuff I saw this week  (Read 710 times)
Will
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« on: November 14, 2003, 11:01:50 AM »

So my car died this week, and since my workplace is an hour away, that means I've had a sudden, albeit unpaid, vacation. It's cold as s**te in the mountains of eastern Kentucky, so I've been forced to stay inside mostly, and I don't have cable, so I watched a lotta flicks. Here they are, and I invite your feedback:

BATTLE ROYALE: THE DIRECTOR'S CUT
I guess my hopes for violence are always higher than anything can possibly deliver, save perhaps Dead Alive. That said, this story about a fed-up school system who drops off a 9th grade class on a deserted island to play a deadly version of Survivor is very entertaining,yea, even dramatic at some points. This is well made and full of hot japanese schoolgirls (in uniform!) killing people. Call me a sicko, but my god, that's sexy.
5 slimes. Can we go 5? Is four the limit? I must say 5 slimes. See this if you haven't.

VERSUS
This is a lot funnier than I expected. Enchanted forest full of gun-toting zombies, check. The eternal struggle of good vs. evil, check. Mysterious asian girl in white assailed by evil yakuza with severe behavioral disorders, check. Kick-ass kung fu that makes Kill Bill look like Walker, Texas Ranger, check.  Lots of blood, lots of funny, lots of weird. The story drags a little when they get semi-serious about the eternal struggle between good and evil, but it's still two hours you'll never want back.
4 slimes.

SATAN'S SADISTS
The Citizen Kane of biker movies, sayest Fred Olen Ray, whose opinion is good currency in my home. However, this Al Adamson opus is certainly not a good follow to the aforementioned asian bloodletters. The perversity of this film is worth the price of admission. Rapes, murders, drugs, hippies. A winning combination, if you ask me.
3 slimes.

CAPTAIN KRONOS: VAMPIRE HUNTER
Two words: Caroline Munroe. One word: Erection. She's yummy. Problem is, all the british prettyboys in this flick are almost as cute as she is. *Shudder* One of Hammer's best movies, though I must admit its reputation is better than its enjoyment factor. Still, I only wandered into the bathroom to pee without pausing once, so that's a pretty good sign.
2 1/2 slimes

BLOODSUCKING NAZI ZOMBIES
Oh god, make it stop! I could only watch this about 10 minutes at a time. I can't even describe its wretchedness except to say PIGS.
Skull.


DON'T OPEN TIL CHRISTMAS
A maniac on the loose attacking all the shopping mall Santas.  
And unfortunately for them Santas, their habits (what I call "the psychology of the shopping mall Santa") aren’t too conducive to surviving horror flicks.  Santas typically stumble through alleys drunk, make it with their girlfriends in parked cars, go to peep shows, and, worst of all, attempt to relieve themselves in public restrooms.  You can’t do that stuff in a horror movie.
Side note: Santa-dick-slicing is my new favorite thing ever.
Luckily for future Santas, and unfortunately for Santa haters like myself, our maniac murderer is dispatched by a stripper with a heart of gold.  See, it’s a movie with a message: adult entertainers should be valued as societal assets.  Not only do they demean themselves for others to enjoy, but they kill the bad guys.
3 1/2 slimes!

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The Burgomaster
Aggravating People Worldwide Since 1964
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« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2003, 11:52:49 AM »

I have BATTLE ROYALE: THE DIRECTORS CUT on DVD and I think it's great.

I also have CAPTAIN KRONOS, but I haven't watched it yet.

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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
Chopper
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« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2003, 12:09:48 PM »

i've been wanting to see Battle Royale for a while. Anyone got an idea when it is going to be available in video stores in the states?
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The Burgomaster
Aggravating People Worldwide Since 1964
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« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2003, 12:58:50 PM »

CHOPPER:

You can buy it online from Video Mayhem's website.  That's where I got mine.  I also got another Oriental movie from Video Mayhem called THE DEMON'S BABY.  They have a great selection of movies that you cannot buy in U.S. stores.

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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
Chopper2
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« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2003, 02:25:21 PM »

awesome thanks for the info Burgo!
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Will
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« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2003, 04:47:08 PM »

Also ebay is good...I got a triple pack of Versus, Battle Royale double disc, and Suicide Circle for very cheep cheap.

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