Dialogue/Script Cliches

[odinn7]

Don't forget that when a killer is chasing a woman, 90% of the time she's going to fall at least once.

[peter johnson]

". . . and there's always a girl who falls down and twists her ankle.  (Laughter) Sure there is!  You knon how they are, the weaker sex and all, falling down on behalf of the little ice-cream cone . . . "
-- Frank Zappa in "Cheepniz"(1973), a meditation on the creature in "It Conquered the World" -- an "inverted ice-cream cone or sort of a rounded-off pup-tent affair" -- and monster movies in general.
peter johnson/denny crane

[Mr. Hockstatter]

Whenever someone is running, and being chased by someone in a car, they always continue to run down the middle of the street.  Um, ya know, if you ran into the woods over there...or even just got on the sidewalk, behind all those parked cars.

[Yaddo42]

***Hijack***

Ah, "Cheepnis", great song!

"The suits & the hats & the tie's too wide
And too short for the scientist man
The chemistry lady with the roll-away mind
And the monster just ate Japan"

Here Fido, here Fido, here Fido.....

That song should be the theme song of all b-movie fans, anyone here who hasn't heard, should definitely seek it out.

[ulthar]

that sticks in my craw every time I see it is when someone in a relatively light car is being chased by someone in a much heavier vehicle (especially a semi).  They always try to outrun the heavier vehicle going straight, and remain 'targets.'  Add to this if the bad guy is shooting at 'em.

Light cars stop quicker than heavier ones.  They are also often more maneuverable.  It's also much harder to hit (with a firearm) a target that is darting about unpredictably.

So, do SOMETHING other than just jam your foot to the floor.

Also, lots of times, slamming on the brake would do a LOT...many vehicles can stand being rear ended with only superficial damage ('74 Pintos being a notable exception), but most 'chase' cars have the radiator right up front.  Get 'em to hit you, and you likely damage that crucial piece of equipment.  (Of course, depending on the weight discrepency, this could be very risky indeed).

The bottom line is that most people in movies that are being chased (on foot, in a car, etc) don't act like they don't want to get caught.

[Mr. Hockstatter]

A couple more I'm completely sick of -

"...for a crime he/she didn't commit"  Hey, it would be more interesting if they actually were guilty you know.

And the neverending woman giving birth in the middle of a natural disaster / plane crash / in a stuck elevator etc.

And those old wooden bridges spanning a deep crevasse in the jungle.  Has anyone ever gone over one of those things without one of the boards breaking loose, then the 5 minute scene of the one hand reaching towards the other hand?  I've never seen it.  It would be such a novelty if it ever happened.

[The Burgomaster]

* The car never starts when the victim is trying to escape

* The villain always tells the hero, "We are very much alike, you and I . . . "

* The world's greatest scientists cannot figure out how to destroy the alien menace, deadly microbe, etc.  But the "average guy/gal" hero stumbles upon the solution

* Cops work about 20 hours a day, eat Chinese food out of cardboard containers at their desks at 2:00 in the morning, and are awakened in their apartments at the crack of dawn by their partners (who are usually carrying coffee in styrofoam cups)

* There is usually a scene in which the villain is sitting on the deck of his yacht with a beautiful woman in a bikini sitting on his lap while he talks to one of his henchmen on his cell phone

* People who get shot very rarely fall unconscious.  In fact, they just wrap a rag around the wound, it magically stops bleeding, and they continue running and shooting

* To remove a bullet from your body, simply pour whiskey on the wound, bite down on a piece of wood, and dig the bullet out with a pocket knife.  No need for costly emergency room fees and surgery!

* It would be great if the police captain would believe his two best detectives JUST ONCE instead of suspending them for two weeks

* Whenever there is a high speed car chase through the city, you can bet that a trailer truck will back up and block the street just as the cars turn the corner

* Whenever there is a high speed car chase in a rural area, you can bet that one of the cars will crash into a truck full of chickens

* While plummeting out of an airplane without a parachute, it is easy to have a fistfight in mid-air with your opponent

* High school janitors work all night and usually get killed by monsters

* The smartest people have the worst haircuts and clothing (usually frizzy, uncombed hair and corduroy jackets with patches on the elbows)



Post Edited (08-01-04 10:32)

[AndyC]

You forgot that urban car chases will also always pass through sidewalk cafes, fruit stands and, if it's on the waterfront, stacked boxes of produce.

Cops, no matter how idle and bored, will completely ignore any account of a murder given by two plainly terrified teenagers, because some of the details were kind of far fetched.

[JohnL]

I love scenes of people in cars being terrorized by bikers. The bikers will be kicking the car doors or swinging things at the windshield and the people in the car, usually women, are screaming in terror. I want to grab them and scream, "They're riding two wheeled vehicles that weight a fraction of what your car weights! Compared to them, you're driving a tank! Swerve the wheel! Knock them off the sides of the road! Step on the brake and watch the ones behind you go flying over your roof!"

[ulthar]

Usually in a horror movie with kids/teens/college aged as central characters:

About midway through the flick, with no real idea what is going on (friends just disappearing or turning up dead, etc), they magically find a (book)(janitor)(ex-cop)(unpopular kid) that tells the whole story.  Usually, this is with no foreshadowing or anything.

[BeyondTheGrave]

i noticed that everyone has that good old zippo lighter to light someone up when  thier dosed with gasoline.

"I know I know ive been exposed permeant psychoses..
at least the colors are nice"- Aeon Flux

[dean]

I love the old "I'm not going to tell you, you won't believe me" routine that always ends up with the person telling the other the story they weren't going to in the first place, followed inevitably by the "I don't believe you"

Used in all numbers of situations, from monsters from hell to the ever popular travelling in time.

And not once will somebody believe them.  It makes you wonder why they bother in the first place.

[ulthar]

How about stupid speeches given by the bad guy as he prepares to blow away the good guy, thereby giving the good guy a chance to escape or the calvary to come to his rescue.  Really, what's the point of explaining your motivations to someone who is going to be dead in a few minutes?  JUST KILL 'IM, DANGIT.

[AndyC]

Just thought of a variation on the previously mentioned "We're the same, you and I" villain line -- "I was once like you."

Another good cliche: someone who fights crime because he was the victim of a crime learns that his current foe just happens to be the guy who wronged him years ago. Small world.

[JohnL]

Disappearing bodies - The star keeps seeing dead bodies, but all trace of them is gone by the time they summon help. Not once do they stay with the body, or whip out a camera/camera phone and snap a picture to prove that they're not seeing things. Also, the bad guy's whole plan to discredit the star by making them seem crazy depends on them not doing any of the above so that they WILL look crazy when they try to tell people about it.

Trying to convince people of the supernatural - The star sees a monster/vampire/alien/etc then tries to convince the police/doctors/family of what they saw, seeming crazy in the process. Not once does it occur to them to fudge the details in order to make their story sound more believable. Like saying that they saw someone DRESSED as a monster/vampire/alien/etc.