Funny signs and headlines

[Menard]

Probably all of us have seen Jay Leno's Headline's segment on the Tonight Show. I have seen some rather humorous signs and headlines I thought would be fun to share.




One of these dollar discount type stores had a banner hanging directly below its store sign.

The sign read: Nothing over a dollar

The banner read: 50% off sale (in smaller print) only on items more than a dollar




An adult club had posted on its daily sign: Thur...Strip Poker Night...No Cover





I distinctly remember the headline of an article in Parade Magazine about the disparity in pay between pro men's and pro women's basketball.

The headline read: Balls bounce unevenly in pro hoops




Does anybody else have any funny signs or headlines to share?

[onionhead]

As you walked down Lower Pacific Avenue in Tacoma in the '70s you would pass the Eternity Rescue mission and then Bimbo's Italian Reastaurant.  Viewed from the corner, the signs would read;  "Eternity, Where Jesus Saves Food To Go Dancing"
I always thought that was humorous
Then along the side of the road, my father pointed out a sign outside a corner deli that sold milk in "HOMO GALS"  (gallons of homogenized milk, see?  Funny, no?  Yes?  oh well)

[dean]

I'm sure there's some more I can think of, but one sign that sticks to my head is an ad for a Mcdonalds in the country.

It's a big billboard advertising the Mcdonalds in the town called 'Yass' and of course being Mcdonalds they slappy a big M on the front of the ad making it look like My Ass.

Silly yet amusing.

[Menard]

There was an article in our local paper some years ago about 'Long-Term Care Concerns'. It was accompanied by a photo with two subjects. The background subject was a doctor glancing at the foreground subject. The foreground subject was a skeleton. Now that's long-term care.

[AndyC]

I know there are some amusing signs around here, but I can't think of any really good ones at the moment.

My wife and I get a chuckle out of a directional sign near our home, directing people to "First Unitarian" with an arrow pointing down a side street. The original joke was "he must be really old" and we've continued from there.

Years ago, back when I was in ad layout, I made a small error in the heading of a real estate ad. In spite of it being 24-point type, three proofreaders and the person assembling the page missed it.

The ad read: "Attention all those who want to get head. Stop paying high prices. Call Doris Ernst."

Fortunately, Doris was not so much angry as really embarrassed.

[saintmort]

There's a church near me called like Blessed Salvation Methodist CHurch.

However their sign just says "Blessed Salvation Next Left"

[JohnL]

In a couple locations near my home there are dumpster-like containers meant for turning in clothes for needy children. The slogan on the side of each reads;

"Kiducation: We turn your old clothes into kids"

Every time I see one of them, I can't help thinking that I'd like to meet the mad scientist who can take lifeless fabric and turn it into a living human.

[trekgeezer]

Sign in front of a Methodist Church

"Don't let worries kill you
Let the Church help"

Sign in front of a family owned butcher shop.

Family Market
Custom Killing

[Ed]

On a church in Cheyenne Wyoming:
"Jesus is Lord Here-  Thurs, Sat, Sun 9-11, 1-3"
-Ed

[saintmort]

I love that 75% of these are church things

[Ed]

Probably befuddled volunteers who don't have enough letters for their sign.
-Ed

[Dave Munger]

There was a picture in my local paper about some local bussiness with a couple of the employees, and in the caption, it said that one of them was named "Hugh Janus". I carried that paper around for quite awhile, never found out the address to send it to Leno.

[Menard]

And poor Hugh wonders why he's the butt of everyones jokes.

[AndyC]

I remember there used to be this one realtor who advertised in one of our publications. Her name was Gaye Males.

I always figured she must have been the one girl in high school none of the guys would admit to liking.



Post Edited (01-06-05 19:15)

[Max Gardner]

The local Kennett Paper recently ran an article with the headline, "Crows Are Follow Human Eating Patterns." The rest of the article was fairly ridiculous as well. It was based on something "a friend of mine" saw, apparently a crow eating fast food off the street and being fat and slow because of it. This is because carbohydrates are EVIL, and not, you know, something we need to live. The author of the piece posits that "Crows are not getting the message on Atkins." Good to know, pal. Glad the paper hired you instead of me.