How Come?

[Squishy]

How come no one's taken their video camera and shot one last Blair Witch parody--The Last Moments of Osama Bin Laden?

Osama (subtitled): Is this thing on? It's so dark down here...I can't breathe. Oh Jesus Christ, I am soooooo sorry...sorry for all the awful things I've done...I don't want to die down here...I am soooooo scared..."

(The camera falls to the ground as a flash-grenade goes off. English voices can be heard in the background. Osama's high-pitched screams can be heard until a gunshot goes off. The tape ends.)

__________________________________

The following message is off-topic.

Do your patriotic duty: do not buy the X-Box. I know I pledged alligence at one point to the Evil Empire, but putting DOA3 exclusively on X-Box will not stand, sir. Besides, it's $300 PLUS more if you want to play DVDs on it. Furthermore, if the courts won't teach Bill Gates some boundaries, it's up to us. When his ugly little top-loader fails, DOA3 will go where it belongs--PS2--and someone will have finally taught the little dick a lesson.

Get your hands off my joystick, b*****. Helena's sitting there.

[Tom White]

I'll let you know when that's funny

[Squishy]

Why, thank you, Tom-Tom.
In return, I'll let you know when you're not a complete s***-for-brains donkeysucker.
Toodles!

[Tom White]

Well, frankly, I'm tired of people trying to exploit serious world events.
I'd probably let it go if it was a really funny idea.

And tone down the hostility.

[Squishy]

And I'm tired of smarmy, boneheaded, s***-eating rectal warts who have absolutely nothing better to do than p**s on someone else's back. "Let it go"? How magnanimous of you, m'lord. I'll let you get back to the ice-cold bucket of bull semen you and John Ashcroft are sharing. (How's that for hostile, turdboy? Exploit my weiner.)

[Tom White]

You know, you can present your side of the argument without all that name-calling.

[Squishy]

Yeah, but it's more fun this way--you sniveling butthole. :)

...argument? Oh, please.

You came to my silly little gag--which everyone else had pretty much ignored, I'd like to point out; thanks for keeping it "alive"--and made a vague but snide comment (I couldn't possibly tell if you were writing about the Bin Laden item or the X-Box blather), and then tried to justify it with some whole-cloth horsepoop about your righteous indignation at the "exploitation" of 9-11. Meanwhile, I called you names and made comments questioning your sexuality. That's hardly an argument.

Never mind that there aren't too many Americans right now who wouldn't mind actually seeing Bid Laden spending the last moments of his foreshortened life in abject terror--sorry if I demeaned your beloved hero--but if your ill-defined objection to equally ill-defined "exploitation" were genuine, you'd have to pretty much excise all TV and newspapers from your life, as well as friends and family (if such things exist for you). The internet would be pretty much OUT. So I'd say you're just full of s***--so full, in fact, that it sprays out of your ears in high-pressure streams. You should run for office.

As a Reform Party candidate.

Here's two ways to protect yourself from the Big Bad World:

(1) Place a bucket over your head. Continuously bang the bucket with a shoe while screaming. Repeat while conscious.

(2) Go to college in Berkeley.

[Tom White]

So going to college in Berkeley will make me the genius that you are?

I don't know whether you have a lot of anger or if you just get kicks out of trying to p**s people off, but you really have problems taking criticism.

There are millions of topics to base humour on, and the fact that you pick bin Laden and do a bad job of it shows very little creativity, as do your remarks.

If you're so desperate for attention could you please work on your material?

[Squishy]

I don't know whether you have a lot of anger or if you just get kicks out of trying to p**s people off, but you really have problems taking criticism.

If not so blinded by your own "brilliance," you'd understand how completely hypocritical that statement is...assmunch. What, did Mommy keep telling you you were going to "special ed" because you were so genuinely "special?" Is that where the swelled head comes from? Or did she just say you had a big penis?

I usually don't "get my kicks trying to p**s people off" in general, but fairly often on this board, some knoblicker comes along out of a clear blue sky and asks for it. Little turdsquirts like that--like you--are a dime a baker's dozen, and I don't mind spending ten seconds a night slapping you in your greasy, pockmarked face.

It's not like I'm being paid for this, fool. It's nothing but a moment's diversion for me. But since you keep coming back for more, you must like it a lot more than you're letting on. Desperate for attention? Or just determined to get the last word? At least it keeps you out of more significant public discussions, such as those about whether Reptilicus sucks more than Zombie Nightmare. There's your place in the world, Shakespeare.

Keep on chokin' on my hose, twink. Allah il allah. :)

[Tom White]

Frankly I keep bothering you in the futile hopes you'll say something witty.

Maybe I did ask for it. I could have just ignored this thread like the others did when they saw nothing of value to comment on.

Well, keep up the pointless name-calling. If that's your thing.

[Squishy]

Okay, Turdboy. It's no trouble at all.

Oh, and you're absolutely right about asking for it, and maybe next time you will ignore something instead of trying to impress us all with your mental flatulence.

I suppose, since we live in a world where worthless dimwits like Puck (The Real World) or "The Rock" (WWF) can become a celebrity for five minutes, let alone garner a second glance, you expect nothing but praise and accolades for your personal brand of mindless blathering crap and "attitude."

Welcome to the real Real World. Now run along, little boy. Plenty of horses' c**ks you haven't sniffed and licked yet.