These are exerts from the book Horror Movie Survival Guide. I took them from the website hopefuly he won't mind. This is a great book, buy it at all cost. If you r interested check out the website:
www.horrormovieguide.com.
JACK FROST
CLASSIFICATION: Creations / Biologically Engineered / Mutation / Youdontus knowjackius
FOOTAGE:
1997, Jack Frost by Michael Cooney
2000, Jack Frost 2 – Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman by Michael Cooney
THE SKINNY: After a freak accident, a serial killer is mutated into a snowman.
QUOTABLE: "You got three bodies, no explanation. Add that up: it spells 'trouble.'"
HABITAT: Tiny little town of Snomonton, (God only knows where); Tropicana (Caribbean island).
ORIGIN: On his way to the electric chair after being convicted for 38 murders, Jack Frost was on a shuttle that happened to collide with a van coming from the GCC Genetic Research lab, carrying biohazard-marked stuff (to be more precise, an acid created to bond the human cromosomic helix with Earth material, in order to resurrect the human race after the global holocaust). It was December, too. And you know how those stupid chemical reactions go: toxic waste + snow + serial killer = mutant killer snowman.
IDENTIFICATION: Three-ball snowman, carrot nose, charcoal eyes. Rows of pointy teeth made with icicles. He doesn’t wear a hat, but keeps a scarf around his neck. He has no legs, but arms can pop out of his torso whenever he needs "a helping hand."
CRAVINGS: Killing. As a human being, Jack carried a personal vendetta against the sheriff who stopped his chain of murders. As a snowman, Jack carries a personal vendetta against the sheriff’s family -- and everything in between.
BEHAVIOR: Jack can freeze and unfreeze at will, in a very quick way, and is a shapeshifter. He can be a snowman in your yard, a puddle finding its way underneath your door, or even a few ice cubes in your drink. He can even "swim" in the ocean while still a snowman. He talks with a deep, blood-freezing voice, and loves to smoke a pipe. Jack can fire razor-sharp icicles that can pierce your skull. And you thought an ice cream headache was bad! Jack can also enter your body, fill it up completely, and use it to get around. But soon afterwards the hosting body barfs up a melted snowman. A whole melted snowman -- no small barfing task. Jack drives cars, moves extremely fast, and, in the words of a local doctor, is "immensely powerful."
DANGER: The snowman’s mission is to get the sheriff, but in the process he doesn’t refrain from killing others just for fun and to keep up his former serial killing career. He can also change the weather, and cough up snowballs that soon become little Jacks...with all the same admirable qualities.
HOW TO KILL HIM: Use gallons and gallons of antifreeze. Make a pool and dip Jack into it. But if you meet the new and improved Jack, the one whose DNA has mixed with that of the Sheriff (who's notoriously allergic to bananas), then just visit your local grocer for the remedy.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU MEET HIM: Keep a hair dryer handy: it won’t kill him, but Jack hates all forms of heat, so you can stall the monster for a while. Watch reruns of Bananas in Pajamas. Read him "Chicken Soup for the Soul." It’s so overwhelmingly heartwarming it may melt Jack altogether.
CURRENT STATUS: Originally sealed in numerous antifreeze bottles, buried in a small graveyard; now he is a very large puddle of melted snow on Tropicana Island.
BODY COUNT: 39 people when he was a man, 27+ as a snowman. 1 arm, 1 hand. And 2 people were killed by Jack’s snowball sons.
ALIENS
CLASSIFICATION: aliens / parasites / Maternis acidawfulus
FOOTAGE:
1979, Alien by Ridley Scott
1986, Aliens by James Cameron
1992, Alien3 by David Fincher
1997, Alien Resurrection by Jean-Pierre Jeunet
THE SKINNY: Big, mean, body intruder machines with acid blood. Truly the scourge of the universe.
QUOTABLE: "Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen!"
HABITAT: The planets LV-426 and Fiorina 161, various starships, and coming soon to a planet near you...
ORIGIN: Crew members of the space tow-truck Nostromo found a shipwrecked alien spacecraft with hundreds of alien pods inside. Curiosity killed the cat, says an old saw. Evidently, one of the crew members hadn’t heard this old saw, and stuck his mug inside one of the pods. An overly friendly face-hugger grabbed the head of this poor man and placed in his stomach (via his mouth) an itsy-bitsy alien son, all unbeknownst to the rest of the crew.
IDENTIFICATION: The alien is a biomechanical creature: a living being with several body parts eerily similar to gears and pistons. In pod form, it is a large bulb sitting a couple feet off the floor, eagerly awaiting a visitor. What leaps out of the pod is called a face-hugger: sort of a cross between a crab, an octopus and a lizard which does just what its name implies. When the alien emerges from its host’s insides, it is a minnow-like infant compared to its adult form. The adult alien is an eight-foot tall gangly biped with a semicylindrical head, two mouths, grotesque long arms and grasping hands. The queen is even bigger and meaner. Gulp.
CRAVINGS: Would you believe it? Humans, of course (although it’ll settle for other mammals). It doesn’t want us for food though, it just uses our bodies for reproduction.
BEHAVIOR: This alien parasitoid reproduces through a host, which, of course, means you. And your alien baby makes a rather theatrical entrance through your belly which is something you just never want to experience. When the aliens form a community around the queen -- well then we’re all in deep doo doo. As if one isn’t hard enough to deal with.
DANGER: You bet your sweet ass. First of all, aliens are constantly p**sed off -- kind of like when you accidentally staple your nuts together -- they’re incredibly irritable and aggressive. Secondly, they move very fast, are very strong, and have very sharp teeth. If an alien finds you, typically it will either crush your head like a fresh coconut, or else bring you back to the nest to serve as a surrogate parent. Believe us, you would prefer the coconut treatment. Also, their acid blood is more than a little corrosive, so rigorously avoid splatter fests.
HOW TO KILL THEM: Very carefully. If you know how to operate an ergonomically correct forklift, you can throw the alien out of your ship into space for some other poor bastard to deal with. Or you can run it over with a heavy transport vehicle. Otherwise you can throw grenades at it — preferably at its big, ugly hammer head. And they seem to be repelled by fire...kinda. Or improvise. We are accepting any and all suggestions.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU MEET THEM: Hop on the next ship out of there. If you’re already on a ship, make like R2D2 and hit the escape pod. Then call Ripley the Alien Slayer from the cellular. No ship? Grab a flame thrower.
CURRENT STATUS: There are probably thousands of pods left on LV-426, and who knows where else. Furthermore, the newly-cloned Ripley 8 is part alien, and at last check she was heading towards Earth...
BODY COUNT: 191 people, 1 dog and 1 unknown alien pilot.
This book is the best book ever written. This is what the back cover says:
From the screams of Psycho to the psychos of Scream, who wants to be a horror movie survivalist?
The Horror Movie Survival Guide is your essential source for information on the creatures and monsters that darken your daydreams and stalk your nightmares. Separated into five categories -- aliens, beasts, creations, psychopaths, and the supernatural -- each horrific entity is presented with a full description, an overview of unnatural habits, and tips on how to destroy it. This definitive handbook also includes a directory of horror films (so you know where to find your favorite monsters!), thirty photographs of some of the baddest of the bad, and a list ranking the worst creatures to grace the silver screen by their number of kills.
So next time you're confronted by the supernatural, the extraterrestrial, or the unclassifiable, look in The Horror Movie Survival Guide for all the facts -- and then run like hell!
