South Seas Massacre(`74)

In this terrific lil' Philippino 'trouble-in-paradise' adventure, Troy Donahue is captured by Junero Jennings, who intends on bringing him to justice for the murder of his brother in a mining accident.

Pirates take over the ship they are sailing on, leading to an extended scene of pillaging and rape top-decks, while Junero and Troy make a break for it, going over the side of the ship at night, while handcuffed together no less(dispite Troy's informing Junero that he can't swim).

They luck-out and wash ashore on a tropical paradise. Truly, I don't know where they filmed many of the scenes for this movie, but it is a genuinely breathtaking locale. They are welcomed by the islanders and a luau is held in their honor that night(dispite the fact that they literally tear down one of the natives huts in a prolonged fight sequence that's right up there with the one in "They Live" for duration) This is the first of several extended native 'Don Ho'-style dance numbers throughout the movie. Some might find these painful or distracting, but I enjoyed them.

Next day, there's a lovely slo-mo sequence with Troy playfully chasing a native girl around in the lush tropical settings(to a perfect Martin Dennyish soundtrack no less!). It ends with them falling to the ground in a passionate embrace, as the camera cuts to a bunch of dead leaves(foreshadowing?!?).

Cut to scene of the pirates landing on the island. I gotta say, these are the feyest looking pirates ever. Their Capitan is especially flamboyant. They are met by the natives, leading to a great moment where the Captain saunters up to Junero(who is black) and states, "Say, you're not from around here, are you?". The pirates are similarly fetted by the agreeable natives, leading to another extended hula dance number.

Things seem to be going relatively agreeably, until the pirates decide to sneak up on the natives secret rituals by some waterfalls so they can peek at the nude Polynesian beauties. They are unable to control themselves, leading to a long sequence where the pirates attack and rape the women, chasing them through the tropical forests and streams. The men show up to defend their women, and most are cut down by the pirates guns, although they score afew for the home team. Back at the village, the Captain tells them, " Ah, my friend, very sorry for all this...but in our tradition, birds don't fly away from worms; in fact, they even dig for them!", which completely lost this viewer. This leads to yet another song and dance scene, as the natives send their dead afloat on the tide.

Next scene has the Captain dressed in (I swear I'm not making this up) a Santa-suit top-coat! He orders the islanders to build a giant pen that they are forced into, and decides to marry one of the Princesses. Many scenes of the trials and torments follow, as the natives are teased by the pirates, several of the women are raped/beaten, and in one extended bit, Troy is made to whip Junero and the native King. You have to see it yourself, but this has gotta be one of the most homoerotic scenes ever filmed.

That night, the penned-up natives confer with 'Omar', their head witch doctor. I think they were trying for an old man look, but this guy looks like a hippy burn-victim, as he proclaims in a sorta Steven Wright deadpan, "I...can feel that the Gods want us to rise-up against them."

I won't spoil the climax for you, but suffice to say, there's gonna be lots more bloodshed and dance numbers before this baby runs it's course. If it's not readily apparent, I enjoyed this action-packed adventure movie.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot to mention that Junero Jennings is a hoot! He delivers all of his lines like a sort of black William Shatner, inappropriate pauses and all!

Post Edited (06-08-05 10:55)