A Hard Day

[Andrew]

One of the gents who did maintenance for our townhouse rental community collapsed in front of my house today.  I was walking back from taking out the trash when my wife called to me, saying the man had died in the driveway.  

Literally, 2 or 3 minutes had passed since I had seen him (standing) as I walked out the door with my trash.  He had no pulse and was not breathing.  I did CPR until a police officer arrived and he had one of those idiot-proof defibrillator units.  Each time, first when I did CPR and then after shocking him with the defib, he would start breathing shallow and ragged and his pulse would return, though weak.  However, then it fell off and he seemed to crash again.  At no point did he gain consciousness.  The same thing happened when the paramedics arrived and were able to give him some drugs to kickstart things.  He was taken to the hospital, but eventually pronounced dead.

The man was 44 years old, married, and had 2 children.  His friend stopped by to ask me what had happened.

I did not believe he would make it when the ambulance pulled away, because he kept crashing.  I am not certain what sort of response I am looking for or even why.  I am just unsettled.  Too many times around this sort of thing.  Paramedics have my genuine respect.

[Master Blaster]

Damn. I'd be unsettled too. It sounds like you did everything you possibly could for the guy. Sorry you had to go through all that.

[Yaddo 42]

My symapthies to his family and to you for going through what you did. It can't be easy to to see someone slipping away despite the efforts of you and the others.

My father died many years ago of a sudden massive heart attack while exercising. Two dentists who were nearby saw him collapse and performed CPR while someone else went for help. They never got any kind of response from him, we were told he was probably dead before he hit the ground. But it always made my family feel a little better to know that someone was there when it happened to fight for his life, and in the heat of the moment they had no way of knowing that it was probably too late.

So you should take some comfort in knowing you acted quickly and did the best you could to help another human being in trouble. If anyone realizes the value of that already, it's you.

[Scott]

You did good Andrew. I'm in a postition at work where that could happen any time or day. I try to keep a state of readiness of mind. Always ready for the worst while keeping things lite. I haven't had the chance to be involved with that exact situation where I'd have to perform CPR. The day I don't feel like doing CPR or other lifesaving type duties at work is the day I should consider quiting. That's how I see it. Having the right training and/or the willingness to help others is all we can do.

Sounds like you had to do it the old fashion way at the start with the mouth to mouth. Now days we are expected to use modern airbag equipment which dosn't always fit as tight and effective, but it's suppose to be for everyones protection. The defibilator seems to be a good thing to use when the heart stops.

Getting that oxygen into them and the heart pumping is the main thing.

As always Andrew you did your part, so sleep well tonight. Probably harder since you may have known the fellow.



Post Edited (06-22-05 20:57)

[dean]

Wow, that is certainly a hard day, but at least you tried to do something: I wonder how many people would have the same quickthinking and jump into action.  I know you probably know this already but you did all you could do, so like Scott said, you can rest easy.

What really sort of hits me about this is that this kind of shows you how different reality is compared to fiction: in the movies or TV, whenever you see a medical team rushing to save someone, doing CPR etc.  Once there is a pulse then that usually is it: they are ok for now.  I don't remember seeing one where the pulse returns and just drops off again after a while.  I guess it sort of shows us that reality isn't so simple...

Sorry to sort of go off like that but this topic kind of got me thinking about various relatives who have long departed this life.  I guess it was time to spare a thought for them all...

[Menard]

I have recently had a similar incident with my mother.

My mother had Parkinson's Disease and, due to her condition and frankly medical incompetence, I was her primary caregiver for the past 5 years. She had been having an occasional panic attack, usually at night, but it seemed as though we had been getting a handle on it.

On Friday, June 10, she had a pretty good day, as she was vibrant and did better at doing some chores around the house, getting more activity from her medicine, and got herself ready for bed without needing any assistance.

On the morning of Saturday, June 11 (less than two weeks ago), just before 4 AM, I heard her calling for me to help her and went to her bedside where she was having what appeared to be a panic attack. She was sitting up in bed screaming for help and hyperventilating as her skin was a little clammy. I tried to calm her and told her to relax her breathing. She laid on her side and her brearhing slowed. Then she stopped breathing.

I began CPR on her and was able to get her to take some shallow breaths to where I could call for an ambulance. I continued with the CPR, but she had stopped breathing again.

When the paramedics arrived and hooked her up to a monitor to discover she still had a heartbeat, but only a few beats per minute; hardly noticeable. They ventilated her (took their damn time about it) and continued CPR as they took her to the hospital. She never recovered.

My last memory of my mother was of her crying and asking for help which I was not able to give her. I watched her die and felt her body go from rigid to limp in my hands.

The coroner said it was cardiac failure from a very probably developing condition which was being masked by the disease. She was only 69 and was the youngest of 3 sisters, of which the other 2 attended the funeral.

[odinn7]

I am deeply sorry to hear that Menard. It's unfortunate that you had to go through that. Sorry,  I am at a loss for words which doesn't happen much.


And Andrew, you did all you could possibly do, don't beat yourself up over it.



Post Edited (06-23-05 07:06)

[daveblackeye15]

Good job, you did what you could and as you know sometimes there is nothing you can do. But you still have to try. It's a good thing my troop recently reviewed CPR in case this ever happens near or to one of us.

[Menard]

odinn7 wrote:

>  I am at a loss for words which doesn't happen much.

Thank you for the easy target (:

It has been a difficult tragedy to overcome, but I am slowly working my way there. I still have not been getting too good of sleep. I sleep, but it just does not seem to be as effective. I am happy that I have the internet and the board which gives me a place to go during this new solitude. I still have some work to do in getting the will settled and paying for the funeral, but things are improving with me and should be improving, hopefully, with my situation. I have some good friends who went the extra mile to help me out and check in with me to see how I am doing; and it is particularly nice that this is not out of the ordinary for them.

[Zapranoth]

Menard, God bless you.  I lost my father, in a different way, in January.  He died of pancreatic cancer; it took him months to die of it, a little bit each day.  My brothers and mother were standing around him as he drew his last breath.  It's the sort of thing you see in (bad) movies, and the stunning and surreal finality of it is beyond anything you could be prepared for.

We were.. hmph.  Prepared for it.  You're never prepared for it.  But at least we knew without a doubt it was coming... it was not the sudden tearing away that you have had.  As another human being, I salute your bravery to do what had to be done, even though it couldn't change what happened.   In what I do, I see a lot of people who are sick and do not have a son who loves them and will stand by them to the end.  There is no truer measure of your love for your mom than by what you did for her with your time.  

Being told "I'm sorry" doesn't help much, I know.  The best advice I've heard is that time is your friend.  That doesn't help a hell of a lot when you are going through your parent's clothes and physical things, running your hands over the things that seem like they should somehow hold something left over of Dad.  That's how I felt, at least, when I had to do it.

But even though we don't know each other, know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your mother.   And with you, Andrew.    I don't know what else to say, except that you are both real human beings, and it's good to be with you, in some part, in this.

- Seth Scott, Olympia, Washington

[Menard]

Thank you for the kind and well thought out words Zapranoth. When my father passed away 19 years ago, it was after a battle with cancer in which he did not fully regain his strength after having a lung removed, but we did have about 9 months with him after the surgery. Even though we did have some warning, it still hurt, as the loss of a loved one, regardless of the circumstances, always does.

Being a caregiver, it had been in the back of my mind that someday I might be faced with find that my mother had died in her sleep. I had never thought that I would actually witness her death.

I was strangely enough able to remain relatively calm during the time and was actually upset with myself for not being upset, but that did not last long as reality set in when the doctor at the hospital asked me to step into his office. I guess the calmness was a disarming technique on my part, as I have a tendency to do that under stress, for it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks when reality struck.

I stayed with her until the funeral home came to get her and then went to my sister's home to give her the news.

It has not been easy, first in taking care of her and then in her death. The first few days were filled with 'what ifs' and the memory of her crying for help. The days since have been a coming to grips with it and having to deal with the unfortunate finances and estate issues which unfortunately come with someone's passing, although the funeral home has been kind and helpful as well have been some very dependable friends.

Bob

[Menard]

What speaks volumes, Andrew, is that you did react to the situation by doing everything that could have been done. In a time of crisis, you came through. In his passing, he did not die alone, but had someone with him who cared enough to try, to give it his best. Whether he was conscious or not, it is a belief of mine that someone still has a certain awareness of what is going on about them, and in his last moments, you were there for him.

[h.p. Love]

Andrew wrote:

>  I am not certain what sort of
> response I am looking for or even why.  I am just unsettled.
> Too many times around this sort of thing.  Paramedics have my
> genuine respect.
>

This is a good wake up call for me to make sure I would know what to do if that happened around me. Without your message I wouldn't have thought about CPR today.

I'm sure the family feels better knowing that you did all the right stuff as opposed to someone who might have panicked or not known what to do.

[The Burgomaster]

I just found out that I guy I worked with at my last job died.  It was really weird hearing this.  I saw him in work almost every day and talked to him quite a bit.  He was 45 years old.  I guess he got some kind of infection and he ended up with pneumonia.  He was in the hospital for awhile, then he went back to work for 1 day.  The next day he was back in the hospital.  A couple of days later he died of congestive heart failure.  It's scary to think of a guy only 4 years older than me dying unexpectedly like that.

[Andrew]

Much more difficult for Menard.  My friend's wife performed CPR on her father, when he collapsed.  He was about 55 and had just retired from the Air Force.  He also passed away.

My neighbor is the fire inspector for our township.  He related a story about a friend who passed away.  Their group was at a sports bar, when one guy suddenly went into arrest.  Despite having a bunch of people with the training, including paramedics and all the gear in the truck right outside, he could not be saved.  Life is very, very frustrating at times.