Hey, anybody seen Menard?

[trekgeezer]

Dare we wonder about the "V" word?

[Menard]

Ah wish.

Yesterday, I had quite an unpleasant surprise. As my mother had passed away recently and we had the electric in her name, I was greeted to a surprise shut down of power. I got power back this afternoon (although very p**sed), but not without consequences as most of what was in the fridge is ruined, my answering machine is on the blink now (guess I'll have to answer calls from parasites in person), and I cannot get my scanner/printer to work. I have not completely assessed all the possible damage due to the sudden shutdown or heat.

This is just the latest in a long list of what feels like 'kick me while I'm down' moments. I have no car now as my car had the head gasket go, and it saturated the engine with anti-freeze, effectively destroying it (as funds were locked up in estate, I cannot afford a car or to get mine repaired). Being that I am left with funeral expenses and her bills, I am having to sell my home to cover them and move into a small room at my sister's house (at least I do have that option).

Within the next few weeks, I will lose my internet service and have the phone disconnected in order to conserve on expenses. I will have 20 hours a month of free service on my laptop, and occasional access on my sister's computer. So if anybody notices me being absent, or on less frequently, that will be why (but I will use up every last ounce of internet service I have until it is gone).

I was recently asked by someone as to how I am not depressed in this situation, as they felt they would be. I told them that if I were outside looking in, that I would wonder the same thing, but being that I am on the inside, I cannot afford (metaphorically) to let it get to me, or else I would simply be depressed and in the same situation (although yesterday really had me down).

Sorry to carry on, but I felt that I should at least let everyone know what is going on. This is the only board where I have said anything about my personal situation as I tried that on one board when my mother passed away and a living piece of human excrement took advantage of the situation by using the time to harass me away from the board. I mentioned it on this board and was greeted with support, well wishes, and condolences, and I thank you all.

Now, back to the movies (of course bad ones), the adventures of secret agent Double Odinn7, Trek-Geezer's fascination with a TV series (but for the life of me, the title escapes me), Scott's nazi zombie movie hysteria and exercise tips, and Dave's adventures in dating and carrying a sword for Menard (ewww...that still sounds disgusting).

P.S.

Kentucky Utilities

[ulthar]

While that DOES sound like an insult of some kind, I mean fix your car yourself.  Changing a head gasket is not ALL that hard, but there are some techniques you would need to know if you've never done it before.

What kind of car is it?   (How new or how old?)

Given your circumstances, the personal achievment reward of making this repair yourself would be worth far more than the money you save.

Peace, and remember, you are still in our thoughts and prayers.

[Menard]

It perhaps is feasible that with enough time and either learning, or trial and error, I could do a half sloppy job of it (provided I also had the tools to do it). The problem is that the engine was saturated, mixing the anti-freeze into the oil and fuel system. When it broke down, smoke was pouring out of the muffler, as well anti-freeze was pouring out of the muffler. Even if I replaced the head gasket, I have an engine which most likely (but no guarantee) has damaged cylinders (as it presently has no compression when attempts were made to start it). The damage to the fuel system is at present unknown; but the likelihood is that it sustained damage as well. I had an opportunity to have an engine dropped in it for $1600 (that I don't have), which would probably be less than replacing the head gasket and repairing the subsequent damage which was done to the engine and possibly the fuel system.

I gave the thought to hanging onto the car until I can get it fixed, but I don't have any place to put it. I live in a neighborhood with a neighborhood association which acts like a pack of nazis (and there is a restriction against working on cars or having cars which do not run residing on your property). My sister will not let me leave it at her place either. As such, I have nowhere to work on it or leave it.

The car itself is a 95 Mercury Sable station wagon, which is barely worth more than what it would take to fix, although the body is in good shape. Being that it is a heavy car (3400 lbs) with a V6 engine, nobody is interested in it even for the body as today's gas prices are killing the sales and recommission of larger vehicles.

My neighbor, who is going to be buying my place, has an older Toyota van he is going to give me as part of the deal (well, basically give me, as we are just calling it part of the deal to make it sound better). It has no AC, ungodly mileage, and ain't exactly pretty, but it does run well and has plenty of room for storage; which gives me a little extra storage in addition to the small storage space I am renting.

[odinn7]

Sorry to hear this Menard. As much as we sling sh*t back and forth, you're a decent guy only pretending to be evil and it's just too bad this is happening.
Do you have any mechanical ability at all? I was an auto mechanic for 15 years and changing most head gaskets is certainly within the realm of most people if the are mechanically inclined. If it's a Chrysler product though, just be aware that it's most likely a cracked head also. If you need any help, let me know.
Good luck to you with everything.

[Menard]

Other than some basic maintenance capabilities, I am not particularly mechanically inclined. My main issue though is that I don't have any place to work on the car. The additional damage done by the saturation (when the car broke down, anti-freeze was pouring out of the muffler) would most likely also be a problem (the engine presently has no compression).

And what do you mean 'pretending to be evil'?

Of course I'm EVIL.....bwahahahahaha

[BeyondTheGrave]

Sorry to hear all that Menard. I can't give you much advice like the other board members but good luck

-------------------------------------------------
Most of all I hate dancing then work, exercise, people,stupid people

[trekgeezer]

 Well now that you've made feel like a real creep for harrassing you, I guess I will weigh in with the advice.

One piece of advice I will give you, you will indeed need to decompress even though you are not showing the symptoms of being depressed now. From someone who actually went through something similar it will catch up with you even if it's years later. The stuff like selling the house, fixing the car, and your living situation can be handled, just make sure you take care of yourself mentally. Stress can hide out in there and get you later.

Talk to someone, even if it's some knuckle heads on a bad movie board, but make sure you keep some kind of release valve.

And please know if you need anything give us the word. The members here are a varied group and know lots of stuff.

Please know that I'm truly sorry about your mom and that you are in are hearts and prayers.

[ulthar]

Menard wrote:

> It perhaps is feasible that with enough time and either
> learning, or trial and error, I could do a half sloppy job of
> it (provided I also had the tools to do it). The problem is
> that the engine was saturated, mixing the anti-freeze into the
> oil and fuel system. When it broke down, smoke was pouring out
> of the muffler, as well anti-freeze was pouring out of the
> muffler. Even if I replaced the head gasket, I have an engine
> which most likely (but no guarantee) has damaged cylinders (as
> it presently has no compression when attempts were made to
> start it).


Nah, all of that is normal with head gasket failures.  It is not really likely the cylinders are permanently damaged.  The lack of compression is due to the blown head gasket.  (Did someone tell you all that damage was likely and that the engine would be too expensive to repair?)

>
> I gave the thought to hanging onto the car until I can get it
> fixed, but I don't have any place to put it. I live in a
> neighborhood with a neighborhood association which acts like a
> pack of nazis (and there is a restriction against working on
> cars or having cars which do not run residing on your
> property). My sister will not let me leave it at her place
> either. As such, I have nowhere to work on it or leave it.

I've seen people rent a large (garage size) unit at a self storage facility and work on it there.  Getting it there might be a challenge (tow truck, probably), and that would be might consipicuous to the facility owners.

>
> The car itself is a 95 Mercury Sable station wagon, which is
> barely worth more than what it would take to fix, although the
> body is in good shape. Being that it is a heavy car (3400 lbs)
> with a V6 engine, nobody is interested in it even for the body
> as today's gas prices are killing the sales and recommission of
> larger vehicles.

A few $100 for parts and some tools; certainly less than $500 on a diy head gasket replacement.  Cheaper if you can find a friend (or reasonable tool rental place) to rent things like torque wrench.  Total labor time for a first timer maybe, MAYBE 10 hours.  MUCH shorter if you have a friend who has done this sort of thing before.

If you lived near me, I'd help you do it.

>
> My neighbor, who is going to be buying my place, has an older
> Toyota van he is going to give me as part of the deal (well,
> basically give me, as we are just calling it part of the deal
> to make it sound better). It has no AC, ungodly mileage, and
> ain't exactly pretty, but it does run well and has plenty of
> room for storage; which gives me a little extra storage in
> addition to the small storage space I am renting.
>

I'm not trying to push the DIY idea on you; I just want you to have the facts to make an informed decision.  Like I said, the psychological benefits of fixing your car yourself is invaluable, especially at a time when things are a bit down, and are not to be ignored.

[LH-C]

Menard, I highly suggest that you contact Suze Orman at the Suze Orman Show on CNBC. Some of you might know who she is already, but if you don't she's a Certified Financial Planner Professional who used to head her own company, the Suze Orman Financial Group, and formerly was Vice President of Investments for Prudential Bache Securities and an Account Executive at Merrill Lynch. She has also published 7 bestsellers on financial planning, and has had 5 specials on PBS. Here's the link to submit questions to her show - http://www.suzeorman.com/igsbase/igstemplate.cfm?SRC=SP&SRCN=suzeontv_sos&GnavID=19&SnavID=76
I hope this helps. Take care -

[Menard]

trek_geezer wrote:

>  Well now that you've made feel like a real creep for harrassing you...

Aw, not to worry. I'm  certain you'll feel different after your vacation tribute.

Uh...you will of course be letting us know when you go on vacation, uh right?


I had been taking care of my mother for the past 5 years, having removed her from an unfortunate situation and bringing her home to live with me.

At the time, she had been released from the hospital after an as of yet undiagnosed reason for her being there (a.k.a. medical incompetence covered up). As she could not walk at the time, the family was making plans to either put her in a nursing home or have me to continue to be her 24 hour nurse, as none of them were competent enough or willing to take care of her. As I was only getting no more than 2 hours of sleep a night, and they wanted to force me to continue with that, I removed her from their home against much resistance.

For someone the doctors said may never walk again, I had her walking in less than two weeks (definition of a doctor: someone who charges to torture you until you die).

I, of course, made mistakes along the way. I had refused to take power of attorney as I wanted her to have a semblance of self worth and had felt that taking away her ability to make decisions for herself would hurt that. I did not learn till later that I could have taken power of attorney with regard to medical decisions without having to take full power of attorney (I believe it is called durable power of attorney). Of course, none of her doctors ever told me this (Why? Because they are f**king doctors.).

The past 5 years has quite literally been a nightmare. She was paranoid, suffered from dementia, and, due to some of the medicine she was on, was unresponsive to feelings. I frankly hated my life and definitely had suicidal  thoughts; although the though of what would happen to her if something happened to me was a concern, as none of the family was able, willing, or competent enough to take care of her; even though they were more than willing to criticize.

Certainly my personal stress level was quite high, and the drinking did not help, nor the pain killers. I take that back; they did help to advance an ulcer to the point that it perforated, landing me in the hospital where I had to have part of my stomach removed due to the damage

I was beginning to make some progress after a period where she was getting worse. I had her in a part-time adult daycare program which she was enjoying and looked forward to it most of the time. The day she died, she had been doing better physically and had done laundry and a few other choirs around the house. I had felt a little better until 4 A.M. that morning when I heard her crying out for me. She had ben having an occasional panic attack over the past two weeks, or so I had thought. She was having another attack and was scared and pleading for me to help her. She had good reason to be scared for she died that morning. What I had been misreading as panic attacks was apparently a developing heart condition which was manifesting itself as such.

I had hated my life over the past 5 years, giving up a potential career in photography to take care of her. I had to work what jobs I could, but that became increasingly difficult as her condition (she had Parkinson's disease) deteriorated (largely due to doctors).

I was looking into putting her into a home, but I still wanted to try what I could do to improve her condition as I felt she could improve, and was not alone in that assumption.

I wanted out of this situation, but not this way. She deserved to have a life and be able to enjoy at least a part of it, even though it was destroying me trying to do that for her.

After her passing, I was left to try to integrate myself back into the workplace. My car breaking down did not help with this regard. I have been borrowing a vehicle for travel and scraping pennies together for expenses. The electric company shutting off my power and ruining some of my food has not helped.


Okay, I have ranted on enough.

You are still getting a vacation tribute, and don't think you are getting off easy. I am thinking of telling about a Trek convention which you attended dressed as your favorite Star Trek character. Of course, those who invited you did not realize that your favorite character was Yeoman Rand.

[BoyScoutKevin]

What everybody else said, but as they said it better, what everybody else said. Just take care of yourself, Menard. And we'll see you back on the board, when you are able.

[trekgeezer]

Just to let you know I have never attended a Star Trek convention and probably never will. I do like the shows and a couple have a special meaning in my life, but I draw the line at getting a Klingon tatoo or making people address me as Captain.


Take care of yourself man. I look forward to a future of harrassment (such is my lot) from you.