OT: Men's Cologne

[LilCerberus]

I’ve been wondering lately what a man should smell like… NO! Not like that! What I mean is what other folks would prefer for a varmint like me to smell like.

You see, being a creature of habit who usually doesn’t give a rats rear-end what he smells like, I usually smell like a guy who smokes too much, drinks too much coffee, and eats too much cheese.

Of coarse, there are occasions, such as social gatherings, celebratory events & the like, in which I realize that it may be somewhat inappropriate that I may bear the fragrance that can only be appreciated by the family dog. Thus, I begrudgingly go though the measures of removing certain odors from my person, and then, just to be on the safe side, spritz myself with a little sweet smellin’ crap.

Again, being a creature of habit who usually doesn’t give a rats rear-end what he smells like, I figure most folks might admire a little sweet smellin’ crap on me, or at least appreciate that I smell a little less like my natural self.

However, I recently made a shocking discovery.

First, let me give ya’ a little background on this.
In my reply to Chopper’s ‘Evil Women on the Net’ thread, I pointed out that I went through several years in which I was being approached “in that way� by homosexuals.

Well, I was recently watching an episode of “My Name is Earl� in which Earl was getting some help that homosexual buddy of his, and at the end of the episode, Earl was pretty specific about his buddy wearing Drakkar Noir.

Herein lies my dilemma; You see, when I was seventeen, my mom gave me this big-ass economy size bottle of Drakkar Noir, and of course, being a creature of habit who usually doesn’t give a rats rear-end what he smells like, it’s lasted me a while.

Oh, God. Well, at least now I know what part of the problem is. Now I gotta find myself something else to smell like.
I’ve noticed that a lot of guys are going for that Aramis Pre-Electric lotion, but I don’t like that stuff. That’s a bank man’s fragrance, and trust me, I do not get along with bank men.

So, any thoughts on what a man should smell like?
And while I gotcha here, how exactly does one go about becoming a “Confirmed� bachelor?

[dean]

Well there was a surprisingly lengthy off topic post on male cologne a little while back which may be of use: 'OT: Best Men's Cologne'

As for the whole 'Confirmed Bachelor' thing, I just did a quick google search and found a good summary on the different meanings of Bachelor for you here: The Definability of 'Bachelor'

I guess it's something to think about if you are preparing yourself for official bachelor-hood.

On a side not, 'Confirmed Bachelor' sounds like a really terrible title for a gross-out comedy that stars 30 year olds rather than 18 year olds.

[odinn7]

It's just a matter of time...give it a little bit and ASH will be along to help you out. I'm actually surprised he hasn't been here yet.

You hear that ASH? You're getting soft! You came back here and few months ago and said you were going to shake things up. I say PHOOEY! You're weak, old man. You talk big but don't deliver...Ah, why do I even waste my time with you? SHake things up...You couldn't even shake things up in an old folks home. You let me down, man. You were big once, now you're a puny little nobody.


OK,  lilcerberus, that should do it...give it a few and see. Calling him out like that is kind of like using the Bat Signal.

[spacejockey]

I've found that Polo seems to really attract the ladies. You wouldn't believe the women I'v run into in public that have asked me what it was, so that they could buy it for their men. Not to mention the ones that have quietly told me"what women really want is a man who smells good", so I'll never again take cologne lightly. You can buy it at Wal Mart for about $40 an ounce, not sure if it's gone down in price or not, it's been a while since I bought my last bottle. 2 or 3 spritz's is more than enough and a bottle will last you forever even during daily use.

         T.R.

[odinn7]

Ash? Ash? HELLO?!?!

[Scott]

Yea, this topic came up before and I didn't respond because I don't wear Cologne or even deoderant. Heck I can even spell the words without looking at your post. : )



Post Edited (10-25-05 06:18)

[LilCerberus]

spacejockey wrote:

> I've found that Polo seems to really attract the ladies. You
> wouldn't believe the women I'v run into in public that have
> asked me what it was, so that they could buy it for their men.
> Not to mention the ones that have quietly told me"what women
> really want is a man who smells good", so I'll never again take
> cologne lightly.

Are you sure these women are actually into you? 'Cause something about this reminds me of those ads for Bugle Boy jeans; I kept getting this notion that the supermodel with the sports car was secretly laughing at that guy for some reason.

But I digress.
This Polo you mention; that doesn't make you smell like a bank man or something, does it?

[LilCerberus]

dean wrote:

>
> Well there was a surprisingly lengthy off topic post on male
> cologne a little while back which may be of use:
> 'OT:
> Best Men's Cologne'
>

Thanks, I let that one slip right by me, but then, that was before I found out I was wearing fag magnet.
Susan's opinion on Stetson actually made it sound pretty appealing to me, but then again, she put it in the same league as that fag magnet I've been wearing all these years. Something's fishy about that. At least I now know it's also babe repellant.

Still, none of these mentioned whether or not they make you smell like a bank man.

> As for the whole 'Confirmed Bachelor' thing, I just did a quick
> google search and found a good summary on the different
> meanings of Bachelor for you here:
> The Definability
> of 'Bachelor'
>
> I guess it's something to think about if you are preparing
> yourself for official bachelor-hood.
>

Uhh... I guess, as soon as I figure out what this person is saying.
"How many roads must a man walk down before he can be called a man?" - Bob Dylan
Of coarse, it still doesn't tell me how I can get confirmed, so that I can put it on my resume'.

> On a side not, 'Confirmed Bachelor' sounds like a really
> terrible title for a gross-out comedy that stars 30 year olds
> rather than 18 year olds.
>

Yeah, I can see it now: A mid-season replacement series on ABC about four balding, overweight men sharing a cramped appartment, who are on a mission to convince the world that they're not gay, even though they share the same bottle of Drakkar Noir.

[dean]

lilcerberus wrote:

> Still, none of these mentioned whether or not they make you
> smell like a bank man.

I really have to ask: what is the big problem with smelling like a bank man?  I think I get it; you don't like bank men, but I just don't understand your thinking behind it and I'm a little curious [after all, some bank men can get the booty, I'd imagine!]

On another note, what the hell does a bank man smell like anyway?

Also, the fact that you are being approached by men may not be your smell, but in fact your dress sense.  Maybe you have to change absolutely everything about you!  Am I sensing a make-over moment here or what?!! [oh god, I'm going loopy...]


As for the whole confirmed bachelor thing: according to that link I had in my other post, a confirmed bachelor is someone who has basically declared that he isn't going to get married to anyone.

Think about it this way: a normal bachelor is a single guy who is 'on the market.'  As such he is a potential partner for a little lass and they can marry if she gets her hooks into him.

A confirmed bachelor, in outlining the fact that he doesn't want to get married, is basically going against this idea, since a 'bachelor' is effectively a single guy who just hasn't found the right girl to marry, but a 'confirmed bachelor' wouldn't marry anyone, so therefore our "CB" is a single guy, but a partner who isn't interested in marriage and therefore, in the eyes of a girl who likes monogamous, settle down-type men, of a less appealing type of bachelor.

If that makes sense at all.  That's what I gather from that article.  I don't know why it matters so much if you are a confirmed bachelor [and it's not like you have a special ceremony if you are one!]

God knows why I waste my time thinking about it though...

[Ash]

UGH!  Polo is nasty!
Too many guys I know totally drench themselves in it and smell more like French whores than men.
Even a small amount of Polo is too much.

[odinn7]

ASHTHECAT wrote:

> UGH!  Polo is nasty!
> Too many guys I know totally drench themselves in it and smell
> more like French whores than men.
> Even a small amount of Polo is too much.
>

THAT? That is what I taunted you for? You came in here to post that little blurb? Ash, buddy, you're letting me down man. I know you can do better than that.

[spacejockey]

Well, every girl's different too. Some might like Polo, some might like Drakk Noir, hey there's probably some out there that like High Karate and Brut as well(argh!!). Just like some guy's like women who smell like bubble gum, White Diamonds, or French whore's lol!

     sj

[Shadowphile]

In my experience Polo is the scent of choice for gay men.  Drakkar Noire on the other hand is the 'On switch' for my fiance's libido.  I have literally seen her walk into walls when I'm wearing it because she is paying more attention to how ismell thento where she is going.  Avon's Thai Winds was a favourite until they discontinued it.

As far a women's scents go, I once chased a woman down in a corner store (and annoyed her husband considerable) to ask her what perfume she was wearing.  It was Rare Gold and she said to her husband as I was leaving "That's twice that's happened."  I also like Satsumo (citrus blend from the Body Shoppe)

All that being said, the best scent is available through the repeated and frequent use of soap and water.  Smelling 'clean' beats smelling like a french whore's bathroom hands down.

[Ozzymandias]

My mom and sister bought me Bora Bora a few years back. I have had more compliments from women on it than any other cologne I have ever wore.

[LilCerberus]

Shadowphile wrote:

> In my experience Polo is the scent of choice for gay men.
> Drakkar Noire on the other hand is the 'On switch' for my
> fiance's libido.

I take it you didn't see that recent episode of 'My Name is Earl' that got this whole thread started.

> All that being said, the best scent is available through the
> repeated and frequent use of soap and water.  Smelling 'clean'
> beats smelling like a french whore's bathroom hands down.

Well, recently I became vaguely aware of how the way I smell affects others. Still, I've noticed that dogs really seem to admire the way I smell. Unfortunately, they don't allow dogs in church. It's kind of a habit I've been trying to get into lately, though I keep forgetting why.
I just want a little insurance for when all that coffee & cheese I had for breakfast comes back to haunt me, and possibly others.



Post Edited (10-26-05 02:04)