GI Joe-Ninja Battles--a review

[pops_mcfly]

Name: GI Joe: Ninja Battles
Rated:unrated
My rating: 1 slime
Copyright: 2004

Characters:

Tiger Claw: new kid on the block. A putz.

Snake Eyes: heroic ninja who fights for the side of good. Lousy taste in eyewear though. Ninja brother to Storm Shadow.

Storm Shadow: Think of an evil version of Snake Eyes except that he has a cool costume and no dorky eyewear. Ninja brother to Snake Eyes.

Iron Master: One eyed storytelling ninja making master.

Shadow Strike: a drip—worse than Tiger Claw-almost.

Duke: Leader of the Joes with a constant bad hair day.



Plot: The Ninjas of GI Joe tell the story of Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes, through some of the worst animation ever seen. It doesn’t help that they go back and forth  between the cardboard-cutout animation and CGI through the whole “movieâ€� until the end where the cardboard cutout art actually MORPHS into CGI. And during the “cardboard cut out art their lips don’t move. This DVD is only avalible through the Ninja Battle playset so you won’t find it just anywhere—and besides it’s only twenty minutes long—although that is not necessarily a bad thing.





Things To watch for:

5-min. I still say Storm Shadow is cooler.

8-min. Y’know that laugh is begginning to annoy me.

13-min. How many stories does this old fart have?

20-min. Don’t be such a putz Tiger Claw.



Lessons Learned:

Animation has NOT come a long way—if anything it’s gotten worse.

It’s entirely possible for a man several hundred years old to break a sword across his knee like it’s a twig.

Forged is a popular word with Ninjas.

The GI Joes consider “Go Joe!� a witty comeback.