OT: Stalin and his super ape-soldiers

[dean]

Just read this silly article on Stalin's plans for a half ape, half human killing machine

Stalin's half-ape supertroops

Sounds like a great plot for a low budget 'scientific disaster' flick don't you think?

[trekgeezer]

I read this the other day. The part where they were trying to inseminate women with monkey semen was really creepy.

[Scott]

My daughter just told me about this story about Stalins Super Ape Soldiers that was reported on FOX the other day. People don't believe these type things happen in places of high power. They think that goverment officials are just normal people making mistakes and innocent of anything diabolically conspiratorial. Most people are like cattle being lead to slaughter and that is just part of the reason mankind is...........well.......doomed.

That is unless they wake up.

[Flangepart]

Stalin was a monster...so, i should be surprised at this?
This realy sounds like a title for a 60's superman comic.

[BoyScoutKevin]

That just shows you how smart Stalin was. Everybody who has seen and/or read "Planet of the Apes" knows that chimpanzees are the intellectuals of the ape world. Gorillas are the soldiers. So, does that make Stalin the orangutan in the story?

And that scientist who fell sick on the ice-covered train station platform, was that before or after he fell onto the tracks and the train hit him?

[Scottie]

BoyScoutKevin wrote:

"And that scientist who fell sick on the ice-covered train station platform, was that before or after he fell onto the tracks and the train hit him?"

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That is the funniest thing I've heard all day. I think the situation went something like this....

Scientist was standing on the platform waiting for a train to go home to his wife and mistress in Kiev when a man in a coat with an umbrella passes behind him and pricks him in the heel of his foot with the umbrella, injecting a poisoned ball into his blood stream. Two towns over, a woman paid off by the Soviet government is standing in front of the train tracks blocking the train's path, making claims that she invented the steam engine and that she deserves to ride in the engine car, thus delaying the train a considerable amount of time. Meanwhile at the train station with the scientist, he's starting to feel a little woozy from the poisoned ball that has now made its way up through the stomach and is working its way into his heart. He goes to get a drink of water inside the station but a mob of people are blocking his path. The mob of course has been paid off by the government to harass the scientist. Oddly enough, they are the Soviet's first union, mob local 701. Though not the first to try, they are the first successful union, thus the 701. The train is on the way now, the scientist is feeling worse, and the mob is getting restless because their foreman hasn't showed up yet. The foreman is being brought to the jobsite by Kremlin officials in a special Soviet car, but little does he know, he's about to be shot for not paying his union creation dues to the government. The car pulls into the station, the scientist hobbles to the platform as the train is about to roar into the station and the mob starts to move towards their fearless leader's car. Then, in an instant, a gun is shot, the union leader falls, the mob rushes to the car, and the scientist gets knocked into by the youngest member, Shorty, who pushes him onto the tracks just as the speeding train rushes by, obliterating the poor scientist. Shorty, not one to commit murders, feels guilty about the accident for the rest of his life, that is until the Soviet government finds out he feels guilty, and they kill him.

[dean]

How the hell did Shorty come into this Scottie? Poor lad...

As for the scientist getting sick on the train tracks, I really didn't think the Soviets were all that subtle: why slowly poison a guy to death when an Icepick to the back of the head seems to work wonders!

[BoyScoutKevin]

Scottie. Dean.  Remind me. The next time I need somebody disposed of, contact you two guys by PM.

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

I think Baboons would be better, they are viscous guys.   But this did get me thinking in a conspiritorial vein.  

This website is owned by News corp, the same folks who own Fox (Rupert Murdoch).   But they cite the Scotsman, whom I cannot find as being a News Corp. paper.

Im pretty sure rosicrucians are involved somehow.   Gotta go finish my foil hat.    

-Ed

[raj]

I thought it was the Bulgarians who used the poisoned umbrella tip.  Saw a piece on it in 60 Minutes.

[Scottie]

They go and do something like this. Ed, it looks like you're walking into a trap. Put the hat down! To test the opacity, refelctiveness, and effectiveness of aluminum foil hats against telekenetic space rays, MIT has developed a study.


http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/

It seems you are only helping the government by wearing the foil hats, due to amplification of certain government controlled frequencies. The only flaw? They only used Aluminum foil hats, not tin foil.

BTW, a great reference to REM's "What's The Frequency Kenneth?" is included through an external link. Here's the story behind the song, which is, as Stipe put it, "the premier unsolved American surrealist act of the 20th century"

http://ask.yahoo.com/ask/20010619.html

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

YOW!  I was making a joke here. and here ored scientists have been running with the ball.   By the way, the umbrella poison was ricin.  
http://www.bt.cdc.gov/agent/ricin/facts.asp

-Ed

[raj]

Of course, MIT has lots of links to the US Government, especially in science and the military.  Thus that study could be planted by. . .