Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...

[Conf]

Why do we pronounce "bologna" as "baloney"?  Didn't baloney mean nonsense?

Being italian, i pronounce it "bologna". (as in "piranha", if u r wondering)

[diamondwaspvenom]

*answering retrorussel's question*:

Silence! We do not question such things! The Great Slimy One will not be pleased with your rebellion against the norm.

I am locked in a room with a ruler, an orange and a spider with rabies. What do I do?

[AndyC]

What you should do any time you're locked in a room - masturbate. Just stay away from the spider.

Why does Hollywood keep trying to make a hero out of Shia LaBoeuf?

[retrorussell]

To make him feel better about his goofy name.

Is the Nightmare On Elm Street remake any good?

[diamondwaspvenom]

'Tis a decent film, but a stoned parrot can make a better movie.

Should I bow down to the psychic pteranodons?

[AndyC]

That depends. If you're British, their powers might not work on you.

What is the most polite way to fart loudly when in mixed company?

[Raffine]

Loudly shout "FIRE IN THE HOLD!", lift your leg, and let 'er rip. It will make you the life of the party - trust me.

Will BP CEO Tony Hayward ever get his life back? 

[Derf]

Only after doing a series of gay oil porn videos. But by then, he won't really want it any more.



Why hasn't anyone marketed a device that will let automobiles shoot a marker (paint or some such) onto the cars of drivers who do something monumentally stupid or overly aggressive (like veer across three lanes of highway to exit or cut me someone off) to mark them so that other drivers know to watch out for them?

[AndyC]

There are devices that will do that, but they require you to follow the guy home and wait until he goes to bed.


Why does soup get that skin on top?

[Avatar]

Because Hannibal Lecter prefers that over croutons.

What do gerbils think when they see a balloon?

[retrorussell]

"Is that what I look like if I get put in a microwave?"

Can I Haz Cheezburger?

[diamondwaspvenom]

No. Weez only haz cheeze sammiches.

What kind of crap are you people selling?!

[Rev. Powell]

Complete and utter worthless crap---but because I like your face, I'm going to give you 25% off our already low, low price.

Shouldn't we all be hailing the new flesh by now?

[Cthulhu]

Yeah, but all this "internet" thing came along, and it got cancelled.
(singing) When you wake up in the moring what's the first thing that you see?

[retrorussell]

A big white ceiling staring down at me. (end of song line)

What do you do when you're so sick you have to vomit and expel diarrhea at the same time, to keep it from going everywhere?