The truly terrible joke thread

[Rev. Powell]

What's slew?

[BTM]

What's slew?

Nothing, what's slew with you?

[BTM]

They're finally getting the miners out!  You know, before they started bringing them up through the new tunnel they just did,  they had a small tunnel open where they were passing down items to help the miners get by and pass the time, like food, water, even some PSPs. 

Dunno if it's true or not, but I'm told they all came proloaded with Dig Dug.

[Mr. DS]

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

He had noBODY to dance with.

[Leah]

did you know that dogs are really pigs in dog suits?

[Leah]

What's slew?

Nothing, what's slew with you?

oh nothing, just planning to take over the world (insert your M. Bison/ The Brain joke here)

[Rev. Powell]

Two necrophiliacs lying in bed
Each one wishing that the other was dead.

[retrorussell]

A man walks into a bank and tells the female teller, "I want to open a f***ing bank account."
The teller furrows her brow and says, "Excuse me??"
Undaunted, the man repeats, "I want to open a f***ing bank account!"
The teller says, "Sir, I simply cannot allow that kind of language in this facility.  If you continue, I will fetch the manager."
The man, incredulous, says, "What's the big deal?  I just want to open a f***ing bank account!"
The teller storms off and returns with the manager.
The manager looks at the man and says, "What seems to be the problem sir?"
The man says, "All I want to do is open a f***ing bank account.  I have 500,000 dollars."
The manager points at the teller and says, "Oh!  And is this f***ing b*tch giving you trouble?"

[BTM]

Without geometry, life is pointless.

A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.

The reading of a will is a dead giveaway.

When two egoists meet, it's I for an I.

When chemist die, we barium.

[Leah]

you know it's embarrassing when a banana slips on a banana peel.

[Derf]

Q: How do you fix a jack-o-lantern that you've made a mistake on?





A: You use a pumpkin patch!

[Derf]

Two cannibals are sitting down to dinner.
One of them heaves a big sigh.
The other asks "What's wrong?"
The first says "Oh, I just can't stand my mother-in-law."
The second one says "So? Then just eat the vegetables."

[diamondwaspvenom]

Q: What's pimply, greasy and a disgrace to humanity?







A: Your face.  

[Hammock Rider]

What is a hamburger's favorite dance?

The char-char.

Why are hamburgers better than hotdogs?

Because hotdogs are the wurst.

What kind of girl would a hamburger go for?

Any girl named Patty

What kind of hamburger can tell your fortune?

A medium.

[diamondwaspvenom]

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

A: Pick it up, pull the pin and throw it back.