The truly terrible joke thread

Leah · January 31, 2011, 09:07:55 PM

what do you call a woman with her legs and arms cut off and in the ocean? Bobbie

What do you call a man who watches Bad movies and never changes out of his underwear? (hint: he lives in South Africa)

What was the reason why the glass broke? The glass were tired of hearing Justin Beiber singing.

Worst name ever: Phillip M. Y. Crack

ImaginaryFoot · February 01, 2011, 03:14:20 AM

Roses are red, Violets are blue. At least thats what they tell me, because i'm blind.

Trevor · February 01, 2011, 03:16:32 AM

Quote from: Chris M. on January 31, 2011, 09:07:55 PM
What do you call a man who watches Bad movies and never changes out of his underwear? (hint: he lives in South Africa)

Hmmm..............dunno.

retrorussell · February 01, 2011, 03:28:25 AM

Dumb, old kinda racist one:
What do you call an Asian man who can't tell the truth?
Ryan.

Mofo Rising · February 01, 2011, 03:45:01 AM

Quote from: ImaginaryFoot on February 01, 2011, 03:14:20 AM
Roses are red, Violets are blue. At least thats what they tell me, because i'm blind.

That's a John Callahan joke! That guy is hilarious, one of the forefather's of the sick humor one panel joke.

My favorite variation of that is:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You think this will rhyme,
But it ain't gonna.

ImaginaryFoot · February 01, 2011, 04:01:49 AM

I saw that in a cartoon years ago, i think it was in Hustler

Olivia Bauer · February 01, 2011, 02:28:41 PM

A drum set falls off a cliff...

*BUDUM-CHING*

100Nights · February 09, 2011, 01:36:35 PM

what do you call a guy with a shovel in his head?
Doug.

BTM · February 09, 2011, 07:30:33 PM

Walk like an Egyptian?

What, you mean dodging rubber bullets while throwing rocks?

Leah · February 09, 2011, 08:04:05 PM

So two guys pull up at a stop light. the guy in the left lane is driving a Ferrari, but doesn't notices the gas light is on. the guy on his right is driving a beater car and has his girlfriend with him.. the left guy is signaling for a race, the other accepts. the wage was the Ferrari for the girl. the light turns green and the Ferrari stalls. the moral of the story is to never drive half blinded.

Mr. DS · February 09, 2011, 10:45:07 PM

One I heard on a tv show tonight...A sloth is assaulted by three turtles. He calls the cops and when they arrive they ask him for a description of his assailants. He replies, "I.....don't....know....it...all....happened....so......fast....."

retrorussell · February 09, 2011, 10:57:58 PM

From Taxi:
Man #1: What does a yellow light mean?
Man #2: Slow down!
Man #1: What... does... a... yellow... light... mean...?

Olivia Bauer · February 09, 2011, 11:03:20 PM

Forensics: "Justin Bieber was shot to death in his dressing room only a few minutes before his show started."
Horatio Kane: "I guess the killer was...."
*Puts on sun glasses*
Horatio Kane: "JUSTIN TIME!"
The Who: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

BTM · February 09, 2011, 11:10:07 PM

Did you guys hear about the new German oven?

It seats seven.

100Nights · February 10, 2011, 02:19:43 AM

Quote from: retrorussell on February 09, 2011, 10:57:58 PM
From Taxi:
Man #1: What does a yellow light mean?
Man #2: Slow down!
Man #1: What... does... a... yellow... light... mean...?

Reverend Jim is man #1 played by Christopher Lloyd.