The truly terrible joke thread

[Leah]

Here's a joke- "Light Beer. Might as well call it Diet Alcoholic Water."

Thank you dad!

[Umaril Has Returned]

A duck went into a bar and after ordering a round for the entire tavern, he told the bartender to put it on his bill.....

[indianasmith]

The day after the shuttle Challenger blew up, one of the guys on my ship was telling this:

"What does NASA stand for?"
"Need another seven astronauts!"

We really dogged on him for it at the time, but 30 years later it is kinda funny.

[Umaril Has Returned]

One time a guy pulled into this bar and saw a sign that said "Parking In The Rear" and decided to go in until he realized that was the name of the bar...

The German word for 'bra" is "Shtoppemfromfloppen".

A ditty bag is what you put your ditties in. If you have bigger ditties, you'll need a bigger ditty bag...

[Trevor]

Th worst joke I have ever heard is Shane Black's terrible joke to Sonny Landham in Predator: the one about the echo.  + 

[Mofo Rising]

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smelly!

(My apologies to women, but truthfully, they're the only people who ever laugh at that joke.)

[Chainsawmidget]

Hey!  Have you heard the joke that they don't tell morons?  

[Javakoala]

Hey!  Have you heard the joke that they don't tell morons?  

Along those lines:

How do you keep a moron in suspense?

I'll tell you later.

[Javakoala]

If I had a nickel for every time I said "If I had a nickel...", I'd be ten cents richer now.

[Rev. Powell]

An Eskimo takes his car to the mechanic.

Mechanic says, "It looks like you blew a seal."

Eskimo says "No, that's just frost on my mustache."

[ER]

A sadist and a masochist meet.

The masochist says, "Hurt me!"

The sadist says, "No."

[Jack]

Ever seen a plastic a** hole?

Give me your driver's license and I'll show you one.

[Umaril Has Returned]

 A fan and a vacuum cleaner were having an argument:

"You suck!" said the fan.

"Oh yeah, well blow me!" said the vacuum cleaner   

[Chainsawmidget]

You know, it's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs.  They always take things literally. 

[Umaril Has Returned]

Th worst joke I have ever heard is Shane Black's terrible joke to Sonny Landham in Predator: the one about the echo.  + 

Oh yes....the one where Sonny breaks out laughter after Black explains the punch line to him.  Not to mention the one he told at the beginning, where hae says he asks his girlfriend for a little ***sy and she says "me too, mine's a s big as a house!".