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The truly terrible joke thread

Started by Trevor, March 01, 2010, 08:28:37 AM

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RCMerchant

#1080
October 10, 2020, 11:04:14 AM
Why do orphans like boomerangs ?

They come back (unlike their parents).
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

RCMerchant

#1081
October 10, 2020, 11:06:54 AM
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?

They're both thinking "Oh s**t my moms going to kill me!"
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

RCMerchant

#1082
October 10, 2020, 11:16:13 AM
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

They taste funny
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

Leah

#1083
October 10, 2020, 09:08:57 PM
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble letters. The doctor said that my next bathroom trip could spell disaster
yeah no.

indianasmith

#1084
October 10, 2020, 09:21:14 PM
Quote from: RCMerchant on October 10, 2020, 11:06:54 AM
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?

They're both thinking "Oh s**t my moms going to kill me!"

That is wrong on a quantum level . . . why am I snickering at it?
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

RCMerchant

#1085
October 11, 2020, 01:40:33 AM Last Edit: October 11, 2020, 01:45:24 AM by RCMerchant
Quote from: indianasmith on October 10, 2020, 09:21:14 PM
Quote from: RCMerchant on October 10, 2020, 11:06:54 AM
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?

They're both thinking "Oh s**t my moms going to kill me!"

That is wrong on a quantum level . . . why am I snickering at it?
Because it's funny! :bouncegiggle:
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the utter one.
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

RCMerchant

#1086
October 11, 2020, 02:35:29 AM Last Edit: October 11, 2020, 02:41:16 AM by RCMerchant
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?

Kinder Egg !

(It's not going to get any better.  :bluesad:)
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

RCMerchant

#1087
October 11, 2020, 02:43:45 AM
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?

It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

RCMerchant

#1088
October 11, 2020, 02:45:53 AM
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

Leah

#1089
October 22, 2020, 04:07:30 PM
Which body parts die last? Eyes, because they dilate.

Yesterday I saw an ad that said "Radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full." I thought to myself  "I can't turn that down!"

Why did the crab cross the road? It didn't, it used the sidewalk.
yeah no.

indianasmith

#1090
October 22, 2020, 06:34:43 PM
I drove through Provo the other day.
But I didn't stop.
I decided to leave Provolone.

(Sorry . . . that one's kinda cheesy!)
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

pacman000

#1091
October 27, 2020, 09:09:06 AM
AT&T should be a British company.

Because they're always at "T."

RCMerchant

#1092
October 27, 2020, 04:18:53 PM
An armless and legless man is on the beach. With his umbrella and towel. I pretty girl walks by and says-
" You poor man! You look so sad!"
He says- " I've never been f**ked.  :bluesad:"
So she picks him up and throws him in the lake.

"Now you have!"
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

Leah

#1093
October 27, 2020, 07:04:57 PM
Pre mean before and post means after. To use both prefixes would be preposterous!
yeah no.

indianasmith

#1094
October 27, 2020, 09:00:13 PM
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

Bob!!!

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?

Art!

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs hanging on a fence?

Barb!

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs one week out of the month?

Flo!!
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
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