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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 405449 times)
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1110 on: February 10, 2021, 03:28:10 AM »

What's the difference between a bullet and a cop?
When a bullet kills someone it gets fired.
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1111 on: February 10, 2021, 03:34:37 AM »

A blind man walks into a bar… And then a chair And then a table.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1112 on: February 10, 2021, 03:52:07 AM »

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says I might be a type o.

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

Why am I laughing at this?  Twirling
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1113 on: February 10, 2021, 04:19:38 AM »

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. “Thanks but why’d you pick me up? How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”

I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1114 on: February 10, 2021, 04:27:27 AM »

Once, a lady pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when suddenly a man wearing a ski mask came up to her and shot 3 bullets into her stomach.

She was rushed to the hospital. Miraculously, they all survived, but the babies each had a bullet in their bodies.

The doctor said that they should be fine, but there are risks and they'll be operated when their bodies are mature enough.

Fast forward to 15 years, one day the first daughter comes up to her mother and tells her that she was taking a leak and she felt a shot of pain in her abdomen, and surprisingly, it was the bullet.

The mother told her what happened 15 years ago.

The second daughter and she had the same story and the mother told her everything.

Then her son said " I have a problem.",
 Mom-' Lemme guess, you were taking a leak and you felt a shot of pain before a bullet came out?" The son replied-

"No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog."
« Last Edit: February 10, 2021, 04:40:05 AM by RCMerchant » Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1115 on: February 10, 2021, 05:28:57 AM »

Every planet is named after a God. Except Earth.
That's named after dirt.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1116 on: February 10, 2021, 05:36:09 AM »

If I could ad a face to the Mount Rushmore momument, it would be James Polk.
Because I wanna know what he looks like.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1754
Posts: 13424


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1117 on: February 10, 2021, 08:34:09 AM »

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. “Thanks but why’d you pick me up? How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”

I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.

Oh my gosh, RC, it's like you were eavesdropping in my car the night that hitchhiker went missing!  BounceGiggle
Logged

What does not kill me makes me stranger.
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1118 on: February 10, 2021, 06:15:46 PM »

The most disturbing thing about going to Disneyland is seeing all those people walking around wearing Mickey Mouses' scalp.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1119 on: February 10, 2021, 09:41:25 PM »

If a vampire with a breast obsession were to write a love song, what would he call it?
"Fangs for the Mammaries!"

I heard a bunch of other vampire jokes but they all sucked.
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1754
Posts: 13424


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1120 on: February 11, 2021, 01:43:35 PM »

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says I might be a type o.

Good one!
Logged

What does not kill me makes me stranger.
pacman000
Guest
« Reply #1121 on: February 11, 2021, 02:50:31 PM »

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock knock!
...Who's there?
Banana!
...Banana who?

Knock knock!

Knock knock!

Knock knock!

(Sigh) Who's there?
Banana!
...Banana who?

Knock knock!
(Irritated) Who's there?
Banana!
(Irritated) Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there, a Banana?
No, no, no! You have to do it right!
Ok, ok, Who's there?
Banana!
(Sigh.) Banana who?

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange ya glad I didn't say Banana!

Yes. Yes I am.
Logged
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1122 on: February 11, 2021, 03:05:15 PM »

^ The oldest stupidist knock knock joke in the world.
And I'm laughing my ass off!  BounceGiggle
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1754
Posts: 13424


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1123 on: February 11, 2021, 05:01:33 PM »

What's dark-haired, limps, and has black and blue skin?
A brunette who told one too many blonde jokes.
Logged

What does not kill me makes me stranger.
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30423


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1124 on: February 15, 2021, 08:54:36 AM »

Jeffery Dahmer's relatives argued what to do with his body.

Some wanted to stick him in a freezer and the others wanted to eat him.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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