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May 18, 2021, 10:32:31 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 229884 times)
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1140 on: February 21, 2021, 05:42:17 AM »

The latest Micheal Bey movie is getting mixed reviews.
It's being called everything from 'sh!t' to 'fvcking sh!t."
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
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pacman000
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It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1141 on: February 23, 2021, 04:43:51 PM »

Michael Bay films always bomb, even if they make tons of money.  hot
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1142 on: February 25, 2021, 10:57:22 PM »

Little Timmy, an 8th grade student, was constantly lying to his parents about everything.
His Dad spotted an Amazon ad for a "Lie Detecting Robot."  Reading the blurb, he discovered that once activated, this robot would immediately shout "Liar!" whenever it heard a fib, and slap the person who uttered the falsehood across the face.
"This is just what we need!" he thought, and ordered it right away.
A few days later, his wife got in from the office early and saw him putting it together.
"What's that?" she said.
"This is the thing that is going to cure our son of his lying habit," the father replied.
"Well, I gotta see this!" she said, and they waited.
Timmy was two hours late getting in from school, and walked in the door to see both his parents standing next to a strange contraption.
"Where have you been?" his Dad said.
"We had basketball practice and it ran late," Timmy replied.
"LIAR!" the robot thundered, and a mechanical arm slapped him across the face.
"Let's try that again.  Where have you been?" his Dad said.
"OK, OK," Timmy said, rubbing his face.  "I was at Billy's house."
"What were you doing there?"
"Uhm, we were working on our science project!"
"LIAR!!"  SLAP!
"One more time, son.  What were you doing?"
Timmy sighed.  "We were watching VAMPIRE VIXENS FROM VENUS," he said.

"Well, son, I am disappointed," his Dad replied.  "I would never have done something like that at your age!"
"LIAR!!!"  SLAP!
Timmy doubled up with laughter, and his parents sent him to his room.
"I guess I was asking for that," Dad said to his wife.
"Well, what did you expect?" she said.  "After all, he's your son!"
"LIAR!!!" SLAP!
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"I'm always up for a little anarchy, as long as it's well-planned and carefully organized!"
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1143 on: February 26, 2021, 12:28:49 AM »

BounceGiggle
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 24347


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1144 on: February 28, 2021, 10:41:24 AM »

After 9/11 I wandered around Manhattan among the blood and bones and rubble looking for my brother.

But he lived in California. For like 10 years.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2021, 10:44:30 AM by RCMerchant » Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #1145 on: February 28, 2021, 04:23:18 PM »

I went to my premature ejaculator's support group this morning. Unfortunately, the meeting wasn't scheduled until tomorrow.
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot.
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 1272
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #1146 on: February 28, 2021, 04:58:03 PM »

I went to my premature ejaculator's support group this morning. Unfortunately, the meeting wasn't scheduled until tomorrow.

Well go back, Rev, there's no shame in seeking help. We're rooting for you, buddy!  Thumbup
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
Allhallowsday
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!


« Reply #1147 on: March 01, 2021, 12:50:13 PM »

After 9/11 I wandered around Manhattan among the blood and bones and rubble looking for my brother.

But he lived in California. For like 10 years.

That's just STUPID.    Hatred
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If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
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Hi there!


« Reply #1148 on: March 02, 2021, 11:27:28 PM »

What type of rock is a good friend?
An opal
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yeah no.
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1149 on: March 02, 2021, 11:42:48 PM »

Why can't fish count?
They ain't got no fingers!
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1272
Posts: 8984


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #1150 on: March 03, 2021, 11:59:06 AM »

How do you ruin your husband's day with sex?

Text him about it while you're cheating on him.
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1050
Posts: 12502


Hi there!


« Reply #1151 on: March 03, 2021, 07:00:13 PM »

I would like to thank my legs for supporting me, I would also like to thank my arms for being be my side, and finally I would like to thank my fingers since I can count on them.
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yeah no.
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1272
Posts: 8984


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #1152 on: March 03, 2021, 10:55:46 PM »

I would like to thank my legs for supporting me, I would also like to thank my arms for being be my side, and finally I would like to thank my fingers since I can count on them.

Witty, and clean enough to repeat at the family dinner table. I like that one a lot.
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 24347


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1153 on: March 03, 2021, 11:20:25 PM »

What did the fish say when he swam head first into a wall?

"Dam!"
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
****

Karma: 2671
Posts: 22277


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #1154 on: March 05, 2021, 01:59:16 PM »

Capitalization can really change the meaning of a sentence.

Example:
I love to eat candy.
I love to eat capitalization.
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot.
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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