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May 18, 2021, 10:16:49 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 229883 times)
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1155 on: March 05, 2021, 02:24:49 PM »

What do you call a rattlesnake with a toothache?

A cottonmouth.
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Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #1156 on: March 05, 2021, 04:01:46 PM »

The police came to my front door tonight holding a picture of my wife. They said, "Is this your wife, sir?" Shocked, I answered, "Yes." They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."

I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality."
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot.
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 121
Posts: 1192


It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1157 on: March 06, 2021, 11:24:01 PM »

There should be a sequel to Rear Window. I’m sure the guy got off; after all, it was Perry Mason.
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RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1158 on: March 07, 2021, 01:16:18 AM »

The police came to my front door tonight holding a picture of my wife. They said, "Is this your wife, sir?" Shocked, I answered, "Yes." They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."

I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality."

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

I nearly spit out my drink with that one!
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
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Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1159 on: March 07, 2021, 02:52:16 PM »

I saw this guy wearing a suit and tie, carrying a brief case. He also had a telephone headphone gadget on his head.
So I say to him, "as long as you got one hand free,can you play with my balls?"
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2340
Posts: 13790


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1160 on: March 07, 2021, 07:53:27 PM »

My wife went missing for two weeks some time back.  The local sheriff told me I should be prepared for the worst.
So I went to Goodwill and got all her stuff back!
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"I'm always up for a little anarchy, as long as it's well-planned and carefully organized!"
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 12502


Hi there!


« Reply #1161 on: March 10, 2021, 08:16:58 PM »

My friend told me to take out my spider instead of killing him. We went out, had a few drinks, real nice guy. He's a web designer.
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yeah no.
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 1272
Posts: 8984


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #1162 on: March 12, 2021, 12:09:57 AM »

Why did The Doors cross the road?

To break on through to the other side!
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
ralfy
Bad Movie Lover
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Karma: 24
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« Reply #1163 on: March 13, 2021, 03:06:41 AM »

The "shoot the dog" joke from Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore:

https://varley.net/movie_review/alice-doesnt-live-here-anymore/
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ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1272
Posts: 8984


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #1164 on: March 14, 2021, 02:24:01 PM »

What's funny about a scientist reading a book on helium?

It made her voice really squeaky.
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 121
Posts: 1192


It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1165 on: March 17, 2021, 08:35:10 PM »

What do a soda fountain, a roller coaster, & a sharp object have in common.

Ice Cream! The difference is the spelling.
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ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1272
Posts: 8984


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #1166 on: March 19, 2021, 08:22:15 PM »

Why did Kanye West cross the road?

To give God advice.
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 0
Posts: 24347


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1167 on: March 19, 2021, 09:52:46 PM »

What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.

You know I'm gonna do Hitler jokes. That's my job. It's what I do.  Twirling
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 24347


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1168 on: March 19, 2021, 10:16:25 PM »

Capitalization can really change the meaning of a sentence.

Example:
I love to eat candy.
I love to eat capitalization.

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

I had to think about that one for a couple seconds!
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 121
Posts: 1192


It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1169 on: March 19, 2021, 10:35:35 PM »

Hawk: You better sleep with one eye open!

Snake: Nothing new. I always sleep with both eyes open.
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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