RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie Thread!)

[zombie no.one]

DARK ANGEL (1990)

filmed in '88 apparently... despite being a sci-fi tinged actioner, it has the low key, hemmed-in vibe of a bad movie that is resigned to its badness, not one that secretly thinks it's amazing.

Dolph Lundgren makes Van Damme and Wes Snipes look like charisma gods. he is so vanilla, which is appropriate because he also looks like a big ice cream cone.

soundtrack by Jan Hammer.

sample quote:

"like any magnet, it's attracted to other magnets".

educational.

[zombie no.one]

DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW (1981)

very tv-movie feel, with an oddly sombre and downbeat atmosphere of foreboding throughout. I was hoping for a few laughs and perhaps some sequences of daft dialogue and general '80s fun'.... no such luck.

One thing I noticed is how there was a distinctly '70s and  early 1980s' way for mentally disabled people to be portrayed on screen. A way that would not fly today!

Also not a single crow was visibly scared in this movie, I checked. Bit of a 'watch-baity' title...

[Trevor]

Also not a single crow was visibly scared in this movie, I checked. Bit of a 'watch-baity' title...

😳😅😃😆😂

[LilCerberus]

Tonight's Stinker
The Wrestling Women vs. the Aztec Mummy (1964)
https://youtu.be/RCgdgsOLUOI?si=y-ctq_mQSrY_64rH

So, this Fu Manchu knock off has been killing off a group of archeologists, for pretty much the same reason as the last two movies..... One of only two remaining survivors seeks out out a female wrestling duo, knowing one of them is dating a cop who's also the nephew of the other living archeologist....
So, they split the map up, while fu man has a camera in their house, beating them to finding the pieces, but the good guys beat him to the last piece..... So, the fu man challenges the wrestling girls to fight his two judo fighting sisters in the ring....

Not nearly as exciting as I made it sound, it's slow & tedious, with scenes being drawn out in a failed effort to build suspense....
A couple good scenes of female empowerment.....

[M.10rda]

THE WRONG PARIS (2025):
Watched with Madame and am bothering to nominally review it because it takes place in the cinematically significant Paris, TX, though unfortunately there's no Harry Dean Stanton in sight. Miranda Cosgrove plays an aspiring art student who auditions for a "Bachelor" type reality dating show as she thinks it will film in Paris, France, where she wants to attend the Art Institute except she's too poor to pay for air fare. Alas, she is mistaken. Read the fine print, Cosgrove!

Cosgrove made her debut as the spunky promoter in SCHOOL OF ROCK, twenty-two years ago, which makes me feel old but also makes her seem too old to be playing a lass in her early 20s.  It ain't a great role but she is sincere and does look nice (at 35ish). The only other "names" in the cast are Frances Fisher as Cosgrove's granny and a cameo by Harry Jowsey, a real-life reality dating TV star (which I know 'cause Madame and I watch 'em all together). THE WRONG PARIS is never surprising for a second and never as smart as one would wish, though it isn't as stupid as it might've been.  Of course there are antic outtakes during the closing credits, which are more fun than the actual movie. Maybe streaming filmmakers could just hire actors to improv on camera instead of laboriously shooting AI-created screenplays?

2.5/5
Of no likely interest to anyone on this website (myself included!).