Whats The Funniest Thing You've Said Today

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

"Thats becuase you are the product of a fossilized educational system where people focus on becoming experts at 15th century show buckles, but never learn anything useful"

[Leah]

(i was screaming in gibberish)

[3mnkids]

Not sure if its funny, embarrassing maybe,  I cant believe im going to post it..

Did you see the size of that dogs butt hole? 

ok, let me explain. It was dark and I was coming back from the store when I saw a women walking her dog. I dont know what kind of dog it was but its tail was sticking straight up in the air and I glanced over and bam! all I could see was this huge dog butt hole.  If its dark and Its so big I can see it.. well, its a freakish thing and not my fault for noticing. 

[Psycho Circus]

Did you see the size of that dogs butt hole? 

[Mr. DS]

Immitating my mother..."I was your sheets, I see what you've been doing Mark..."

[Mr. DS]

"I do donate to the well being of this family...its called a paycheck."
Myself to my wife
(It was a friendly conversation about me using a gift card on myself for candy and forgetting to get batteries)

[Leah]

God Basket!

[Shadow]

I ate at Red Lobster today with the wife and her parents. Her dad was raving about his fish and how good it tasted, so I asked to sample it. It tasted terrible. After spitting it out I proclaimed that my mouth tasted like "I had just gone down on the Little Mermaid." They all seemed to think it was funny, but I was too busy stuffing steak into my mouth in order to remove the taste.

[Mofo Rising]

After that word of the day fiasco, my coworker came up with a new word:

"New word of the day: onomatopoeia."
"Well, I can't say I like the sound of that."

[Psycho Circus]

"He looks like a jacket potato with teeth"

[Leah]

What the blue dog is that!?

[Saucerman]

"Why is it so f**king ugly?"

[Cthulhu]

Matt. Damon.

[Derf]

"Today's going to be a great day."

When will I ever learn? 

[indianasmith]

Man, that stinks like last year's bottled farts.