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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 407823 times)
indianasmith
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!
« Reply #300 on: May 05, 2011, 06:33:20 AM »
There's a new mixed drink called the "Bin Laden" - two shots and a splash of water!
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
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Hi there!
« Reply #301 on: May 05, 2011, 07:37:25 AM »
A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender saids there's a mixed drink named after you. the cricket looks confused at the bartender and saids Why would anyone name a drink Bob?
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yeah no.
Trevor
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« Reply #302 on: May 05, 2011, 07:52:01 AM »
Quote from: indianasmith on May 05, 2011, 06:33:20 AM
There's a new mixed drink called the "Bin Laden" - two shots and a splash of water!

 Thumbup Thumbup
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Psycho Circus
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Shake The Faith


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« Reply #303 on: July 30, 2011, 07:29:02 AM »
Have you heard about the guy with herpes in his eyebrows?



He was looking for love in all the wrong places...  TongueOut
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Chamber Of Ages
Silverlady
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« Reply #304 on: August 14, 2011, 08:11:39 PM »

Bubba and Johnny Ray were sittin' on the front porch

drinking beer when a large truck hawling rolls and rolls of sod went by.

"I'm gonna do dat when I win the lottery," said Bubba.

"Do what?" asked Johnny Ray.

"Send my grass out to be mowed."
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Hold onto your dreams ....
Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #305 on: August 23, 2011, 09:31:03 AM »
A hydrogen atom lost its electron and went to the police station to file a missing property report. He was questioned by the police: "Could you just have misplaced it somewhere? Are you sure that your electron is really lost?"

"I'm positive." replied the atom.
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
diamondwaspvenom
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 228
Posts: 1415
« Reply #306 on: September 13, 2011, 04:33:07 PM »
What's the difference between a bass guitar and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop up the bass.
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diamondwaspvenom
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Karma: 228
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« Reply #307 on: September 14, 2011, 12:38:43 PM »
One day there was a man who got a new coat of paint for his car. Before leaving, the painter tells him that he has to rub vaseline all over the vehicle whenever he sees a rain storm approaching.

On that same day, the man was going over to his girlfriend's house to have supper with her and her parents. Now, there was a rule at their dinner table: nobody under ANY circumstances can speak. If one word is uttered, the person washes the dishes.

While they were eating, the man leans over to his girlfriend and kisses her on the cheek. He gets a few weird looks from her family and then they continue eating. "Hmmmm, what else can I get away with?" the man ponders. He then reaches over and grabs his girlfriend's breast. The parents look at him funny, then keep eating. The man then tears off his girlfriend's clothes and does her on the floor. After he finishes, her parents give him a dirty look, but they keep eating. The man then walks on over to the mother, throws her on the table and starts doing her. After finishing he recieves more dirty looks, but everyone keeps eating.

At this time, the man notices a storm cloud heading in their direction. Remembering what the painter told him, he reaches into his pocket and takes out the vaseline. The father then gets up and yells: "ALRIGHT, I'LL DO THE DISHES ALREADY!!!!"

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El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
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Hi there!
« Reply #308 on: September 19, 2011, 09:59:56 PM »
Vagina jokes aren't funny...period*

*and now I'll shall be hanged by everyone here on the board  Twirling
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yeah no.
diamondwaspvenom
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« Reply #309 on: September 22, 2011, 04:13:30 PM »
Question: Are there too many immigrants in Britain?

17% said Yes; 11% said No; 72% said: "I am not understanding the question please."
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RCMerchant
Bela
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« Reply #310 on: September 22, 2011, 11:26:05 PM »
3 fags are sitting in a hot tub. A blob of sperm floats to the surface!
One of the queers asks-"Who farted?"
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
BTM
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« Reply #311 on: October 09, 2011, 11:32:36 PM »
A mushroom walks in a bar and buys everyone a drink.  The bartender asks, "Why you buying everyone drinks?" 

"Cause I'm a fungi!"
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"Some people mature, some just get older." -Andrew Vachss
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!
« Reply #312 on: October 09, 2011, 11:33:49 PM »
(Can't remember if I posted this one or not)

What did the German sausage lover say after his trip to the bathroom?

"The wurst is passed!"
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1104
Posts: 12901


Hi there!
« Reply #313 on: October 10, 2011, 12:05:57 AM »
what do you call a person who hangs with musicians? A drummer.
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yeah no.
Mofo Rising
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My cat can eat a whole watermelon!


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« Reply #314 on: October 10, 2011, 02:59:59 AM »
Have you heard about those corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!
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Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills, get up and kill.
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