The truly terrible joke thread

[Umaril Has Returned]

When is a door not a door?  When it's ajar. 

Oooooooo.......

[Trevor]

When is a clean pair of undies not clean.

When it belongs to Trevor. 

[Chainsawmidget]

A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet ya $350 that you can't reach that piece of meat," pointing at a cut of beef hanging just slightly above the butcher.  The butcher looks up and says, "No way."

The guy says, "Why not?"

The butcher says, "The steaks are too high!"

[Rev. Powell]

Wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind, it's too long...

[Leah]

Wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind, it's too long...

Really, that seems to be short.

[indianasmith]

Did you hear about the kidnapping?


It's OK, he woke up!

[Umaril Has Returned]

One of the Three Stooges started his own landscaping business...he Moes lawns....

[Mofo Rising]

Wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Nevermind, it's too long...

Really, that seems to be short.

I heard about that joke online, and really I can not verify that anybody has had a hands-on experience other than the original poster.

[Leah]

When I found out that my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was Shocked!

Never trust an atom, they make up everything!

Why did the bicycle fall down? It was two tired.

[indianasmith]

I saw a thirtysomething guy sitting on a park bench watching the children play.
I asked; "Which one of them is yours?"
He said: "I haven't decided yet." 

[Umaril Has Returned]

A window fan and vacuum cleaner were having an argument one time:

"You suck!" said the window fan.


"Oh yeah"? said the vacuum cleaner, "well you can blow me"!

[Umaril Has Returned]

While they were waiting to be served up, a hotdog was laying on a plate next to a pair of rolls on the counter top. 

The hotdog looks over at the rolls and says, "nice buns".
The one roll looks at the hotdog and says "what a weenie"....

[indianasmith]

From one of my students:

"Did you know that if you watch CINDERELLA backwards, you get to see the story of a woman who learns her place in life?"

[Trevor]

From one of my students:

"Did you know that if you watch CINDERELLA backwards, you get to see the story of a woman who learns her place in life?"

That reminds me of the comment Stephen King made concerning the devil child in Rosemary's Baby that little Andy would need a custom made baseball cap later in life to accommodate his horns.  

[Leah]

From one of my students:

"Did you know that if you watch CINDERELLA backwards, you get to see the story of a woman who learns her place in life?"

If you watch Titanic backwards, it's about a magical ship that comes from the sea to help people.

If you watch Twilight backwards, it's still crap.