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March 28, 2024, 09:22:36 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 405566 times)
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #885 on: January 30, 2019, 01:51:53 PM »

I had a job installing computers in Unitarian churches, but there was no profit in it.
Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2121
Posts: 22714



« Reply #886 on: January 31, 2019, 06:15:33 AM »

The restaurant on the Moon: great food but no atmosphere  Wink
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12605



« Reply #887 on: January 31, 2019, 07:11:22 AM »

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12605



« Reply #888 on: January 31, 2019, 07:12:24 AM »

You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12605



« Reply #889 on: February 04, 2019, 02:08:37 AM »

What is red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12605



« Reply #890 on: February 04, 2019, 02:09:40 AM »

Can you name some advantages of living in Switzerland?

Well the flag is a big plus.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #891 on: February 04, 2019, 02:13:13 AM »

You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.

Damon Knight did this in his story "Eripmav".
Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1754
Posts: 13425


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #892 on: February 05, 2019, 09:23:23 PM »

Masochist to sadist: "HURT ME!"
Sadist to masochist: "NO!"
Logged

What does not kill me makes me stranger.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #893 on: February 06, 2019, 12:54:32 AM »

What if slugs are just snails who have been thru a divorce?
"Yeah, I kept the golf clubs but she got the house!"
Logged

"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12605



« Reply #894 on: February 09, 2019, 05:41:36 PM »

Q: What is the hardest shape to get out of?
A: Tell me.
Q: The trap-azoid.
Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Bushma
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 203
Posts: 1434



« Reply #895 on: February 09, 2019, 05:56:33 PM »

I was at Starbucks today and there was a cute girl in her mid 20s ahead of me in line. I started a conversation and said "Most people have given up on their new years resolutions by this point. What's your resolution?" She looked at me and said "f**k You".  I hope she hasn't given up yet, because I'm willing to help.
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This is my awesome signature.  Jealous?
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #896 on: February 09, 2019, 09:19:12 PM »

So if a dairy cow fails to produce, is she a milk dud or an udder failure?  TeddyR
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12605



« Reply #897 on: February 10, 2019, 04:17:11 AM »

Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12605



« Reply #898 on: February 10, 2019, 04:17:45 AM »

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in..
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #899 on: February 10, 2019, 04:32:44 AM »

Confuscious say man who stand on toilet high  on pot.
Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
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