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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 405491 times)
Svengoolie 3
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« Reply #1005 on: August 16, 2019, 02:21:23 PM »



A weasel walked into a bar. The bar tender looks at the weasel and says "I have never served a weasel before, this is exciting! What can I get you?" "Pop" goes the weasel



Nice rack and thighs, but by the time I got done tying her down to the bed i'd be too tired to do her....  Bluesad

You don't tie someone to a bed to get that person to have sex with you, Sven, you tie someone to a bed to get that person to marry you. Duh.

Some women like things they wouldn't dream of letting someone personally close to them know they like.
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RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1006 on: August 16, 2019, 02:21:33 PM »



A weasel walked into a bar. The bar tender looks at the weasel and says "I have never served a weasel before, this is exciting! What can I get you?" "Pop" goes the weasel



Nice rack and thighs, but by the time I got done tying her down to the bed i'd be too tired to do her....  Bluesad

You don't tie someone to a bed to get that person to have sex with you, Sven, you tie someone to a bed to get that person to marry you. Duh.

Or to kill her.
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
Svengoolie 3
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« Reply #1007 on: August 16, 2019, 02:53:26 PM »



A weasel walked into a bar. The bar tender looks at the weasel and says "I have never served a weasel before, this is exciting! What can I get you?" "Pop" goes the weasel



Nice rack and thighs, but by the time I got done tying her down to the bed i'd be too tired to do her....  Bluesad

You don't tie someone to a bed to get that person to have sex with you, Sven, you tie someone to a bed to get that person to marry you. Duh.

Or to kill her.

No no no RC! Sheesh you squares have no idea...

Do you know how hard it is to find a woman who's into this? And YES, I only do consensual kinky stuff.

So when you find  one willing to go into some of this stuff you damn well treat her right and make sure she enjoys it. And with the right aids she can  'enjoy it' 6-7 times easy. The guy is lucky if he enjoys it 3 times....

And honestly,  if women in various forms of restraint wasn't a turn on to a lot of people why do so many  normal movies have scenes featuring it,  hmm?  Hell the original wonder woman comics were practically just bondage  illustrated. The perils of Pauline were  all women in peril,  so many republic serials had that and do i have to mention temple of doom?
« Last Edit: August 16, 2019, 03:03:16 PM by Svengoolie 3 » Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
Svengoolie 3
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« Reply #1008 on: August 16, 2019, 02:55:53 PM »

Back to jokes....


What's  the difference between atheists and trump supporters?

 Atheists are honest about not caring what the bible says.

« Last Edit: August 16, 2019, 02:59:59 PM by Svengoolie 3 » Logged

The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
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Hi there!


« Reply #1009 on: August 16, 2019, 10:00:44 PM »

I hear all of the weather jokes just pours on in
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yeah no.
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1010 on: August 17, 2019, 09:19:05 AM »



A weasel walked into a bar. The bar tender looks at the weasel and says "I have never served a weasel before, this is exciting! What can I get you?" "Pop" goes the weasel



Nice rack and thighs, but by the time I got done tying her down to the bed i'd be too tired to do her....  Bluesad

You don't tie someone to a bed to get that person to have sex with you, Sven, you tie someone to a bed to get that person to marry you. Duh.

Or to kill her.

No no no RC! Sheesh you squares have no idea...

Do you know how hard it is to find a woman who's into this? And YES, I only do consensual kinky stuff.

So when you find  one willing to go into some of this stuff you damn well treat her right and make sure she enjoys it. And with the right aids she can  'enjoy it' 6-7 times easy. The guy is lucky if he enjoys it 3 times....

And honestly,  if women in various forms of restraint wasn't a turn on to a lot of people why do so many  normal movies have scenes featuring it,  hmm?  Hell the original wonder woman comics were practically just bondage  illustrated. The perils of Pauline were  all women in peril,  so many republic serials had that and do i have to mention temple of doom?
Interestingly, most profilers say that a sexual predilection towards binding someone is less about dominance or sadism than it is insecurity, and a lack of personal confidence.
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1011 on: August 20, 2019, 06:30:32 PM »

What did the cow say when she drank all the milk out of the bucket?
"It all comes back to me now..."
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #1012 on: August 23, 2019, 03:03:19 AM »

Me: I have a half brother.

Someone else: Different mother or father?

Me:  Shark attack.
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
indianasmith
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1013 on: August 23, 2019, 08:35:32 PM »

From one of my freshmen on the first day of school:  What's brown and sticky?  A stick!!
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Svengoolie 3
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« Reply #1014 on: August 25, 2019, 08:12:13 PM »

Why is a haply computer programmer like Tasha Yar?

They both love Data entry.
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
ER
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1754
Posts: 13424


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1015 on: August 25, 2019, 09:20:17 PM »

What did the chicken say to the egg after they made love?
"Guess we've answered that old question."
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #1016 on: August 27, 2019, 10:01:48 PM »

A really hot blonde is standing on the endfe of a bridge obviously preparing to throw herself off it into the waters below.

A guy walking by on the bridge stops and says "Committing suicide,  huh? "

The woman sobs "Yes! "

The guy says "Well hey,  if you're gonna kill yourself anyway wanna  have sex one last time first? "

The woman screams "HELL NO YOIU SICK SELFISH PRICK! "

The guy shrugs and says "Ok then,  i'll just wait till your body washes up on shore then. "

Hey!  The thread says "truly terrible joke thread"!
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1754
Posts: 13424


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1017 on: August 27, 2019, 10:55:32 PM »

A really hot blonde is standing on the endfe of a bridge obviously preparing to throw herself off it into the waters below.

A guy walking by on the bridge stops and says "Committing suicide,  huh? "

The woman sobs "Yes! "

The guy says "Well hey,  if you're gonna kill yourself anyway wanna  have sex one last time first? "

The woman screams "HELL NO YOIU SICK SELFISH PRICK! "

The guy shrugs and says "Ok then,  i'll just wait till your body washes up on shore then. "

Hey!  The thread says "truly terrible joke thread"!

I love that joke.
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #1018 on: September 03, 2019, 12:01:56 AM »

A man protesting police brutality has begalun stealing wheels off police cars in Alabama, leaving them sitting on concrete blocks.

Alabama police are working tirelessly to stop him.
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: -166
Posts: 5821



« Reply #1019 on: September 05, 2019, 07:45:55 PM »

Dumb Donald just tweeted "Nothing's made in America anymore!  I just got a new tv it said bullt in antenna. Ive never even heard of that country! Sad! "
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
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