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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 414509 times)
Alex
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« Reply #1275 on: July 09, 2023, 02:25:40 PM »

I think more kids should be called Lance.
I mean it isn't a common name nowadays, but in the old days...

Well, people were Lance a lot.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Oookaay...


« Reply #1276 on: July 09, 2023, 02:38:26 PM »

how did bob marley like his donuts?

with an infusion of jam (or any similar fruit preserve) injected directly into the centre of the fried dough.
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The Mandela Effect is a Mandela Effect
indianasmith
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1277 on: July 09, 2023, 02:38:32 PM »

Larry the accountant was three hours late coming home from work one day.
 His wife met him at the door, concerned and a bit angry.  "Where have you been all evening?" she demanded.
"If you must know, I was getting a tattoo!" he replied.
"I don't see a tattoo," she said, looking at his arms.
"It's on my willie," he replied.
"And what did you get tattooed on your willie?" she asked.
"A hundred dollar bill," he explained.
"Why?"
"Several reasons - one, I like to watch my money grow.  Two, I sometimes like to play with my money.  Three, I like holding my money in my hand.
And four - now you never have to go shopping again! You can stay home and blow $100 any time you want!"
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Alex
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« Reply #1278 on: July 21, 2023, 12:11:57 PM »

I wonder what kind of fitness regime Jesus followed.

I see him as a CrossFit guy myself.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1279 on: July 21, 2023, 04:32:23 PM »

First guy: Would you rather eat a goat baby or a mata baby?

Second guy: What's a mata baby?

First guy: Nothing. What's a mata with you, baby?
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1280 on: July 31, 2023, 03:40:05 PM »

Only in New Jersey

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

What, you think I'm Alexa with all the answers or somethin'? We gonna have a problem, cuz I got yer problems right here, bozo!
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1281 on: July 31, 2023, 04:47:51 PM »

What do you get when you cross a Mafia boss with a duck?

A dead duck.  Never, ever cross a Mafia boss!
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1282 on: July 31, 2023, 06:37:19 PM »

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

A picture of Jesus only takes one nail.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2595
Posts: 15231


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1283 on: August 09, 2023, 04:01:56 PM »

I spotted an albino dalmation today.

He looks much better now.
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2595
Posts: 15231


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1284 on: September 06, 2023, 10:47:32 PM »

Why did Kirk have to leave the bridge of the Enterprise so quickly?

He thought it was a fart, but it was the "Captain's Log!"
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #1285 on: September 09, 2023, 01:22:44 PM »

I passed a construction site today. There was a woman working there. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was riveting!
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2595
Posts: 15231


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1286 on: September 09, 2023, 06:41:49 PM »

My wife and I were talking about history the other day, and she said: "It's amazing how little people change!"

I said: "They do it the same as the rest of us, their clothes are just much smaller!"
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
ER
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1762
Posts: 13488


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1287 on: September 10, 2023, 09:07:36 AM »

Why are pool tables green?

You'd be green too if someone hit your balls with a stick.
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #1288 on: October 14, 2023, 01:43:36 PM »

A homeless guy asked me for money today. I looked in my pocket for change, but all I had on me was a $20 bill. I thought to myself, "Do I really want this $20 going towards drugs?...Nah." So I gave him the $20.
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1762
Posts: 13488


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1289 on: October 20, 2023, 10:54:02 AM »

What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
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