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March 29, 2024, 10:05:41 AM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 405643 times)
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2121
Posts: 22719



« Reply #1245 on: July 18, 2022, 11:03:20 AM »

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta  Wink
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2121
Posts: 22719



« Reply #1246 on: July 29, 2022, 06:37:40 AM »

A visitor to the Olympic Games village met an athlete with a big stick on his shoulder.

Visitor: "Are you a pole vaulter?"
Athlete: "No, I'm German and how did you know my name is Walter?"
Logged

I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1247 on: July 29, 2022, 07:21:08 AM »

When he was a boy, Spock was often bullied in the schoolyard on Vulcan.
He quickly developed a sharp retort for his tormentors:  "Your momma's so fat, she outweighs the needs of the many!"
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 183
Posts: 1715


It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1248 on: July 29, 2022, 07:42:22 AM »

What fruit is also a 50’s sitcom moral?

Cantaloupe
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Video Game Article Archive: https://vgaa.neocities.org/
WebSiteRing, Listing Old Websites & Bible Verses since 2016! https://websitering.neocities.org/
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2121
Posts: 22719



« Reply #1249 on: July 29, 2022, 07:46:25 AM »

When he was a boy, Spock was often bullied in the schoolyard on Vulcan.
He quickly developed a sharp retort for his tormentors:  "Your momma's so fat, she outweighs the needs of the many!"

Ouchies  BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged

I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 667
Posts: 5116


Oookaay...


« Reply #1250 on: August 14, 2022, 02:57:08 PM »

did you hear about the restaurant that only serves minced pork?

it's always ground hog day.
Logged

The Mandela Effect is a Mandela Effect
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12609



« Reply #1251 on: August 21, 2022, 03:42:06 PM »

I got an email telling me how to read maps backwards.

Turned out it was spam.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12609



« Reply #1252 on: August 21, 2022, 04:00:33 PM »

A number of cars have been broken into across several multi-story car parks.

It is a crime that is wrong on so many levels.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1103
Posts: 12892


Hi there!


« Reply #1253 on: August 21, 2022, 04:45:17 PM »

I watched a video on how ships are kept together.  It was riveting.
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yeah no.
ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1754
Posts: 13425


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1254 on: August 21, 2022, 05:53:03 PM »

Five nerds were walking down the street late at night when two tough-looking hoods started coming toward them. "Let's get out of here!" whimpered one of the nerds. "There are two of them and we five are each alone!"
Logged

What does not kill me makes me stranger.
zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 667
Posts: 5116


Oookaay...


« Reply #1255 on: August 21, 2022, 06:00:48 PM »

The advantages of keeping origami simple are two-fold.
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The Mandela Effect is a Mandela Effect
zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 667
Posts: 5116


Oookaay...


« Reply #1256 on: August 21, 2022, 06:21:40 PM »

I made friends with a dolphin by mimicking its behaviour and we just clicked.
Logged

The Mandela Effect is a Mandela Effect
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12609



« Reply #1257 on: August 22, 2022, 01:55:02 AM »

To save time, more women should get pregnant down at the Amazon.

I hear its next-day delivery.
Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1754
Posts: 13425


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1258 on: August 22, 2022, 09:36:49 AM »

A middle school science teacher asked her students, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"

The class goody-goody gasped and said, "We're twelve, you shouldn't ask us a question like that!"

The teacher ignored her and asked again, making the prudish girl blush and threaten, "I'm going to report you!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and urged her students, "Anybody?"

Finally, one boy said, "Um, is it the pupil of the eye?"

"Very good," said the teacher, who then turned to the girl who'd mouthed-off and told her, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn't read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very disappointed.”
Logged

What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1556
Posts: 12609



« Reply #1259 on: August 22, 2022, 11:03:28 AM »

Why is water salty?

Because if it was full of pepper, the fish would sneeze.
Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
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