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The truly terrible joke thread

Started by Trevor, March 01, 2010, 08:28:37 AM

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Alex

Quote from: Trevor on March 30, 2022, 01:27:58 AM
Quote from: Alex on March 30, 2022, 12:56:40 AM
The police have dusted Chris Rock's face.

They found Fresh Prints.

:teddyr: :teddyr:

Oy...........

As a father, I am officially allowed to make bad dad jokes. In fact, I think it is compulsory.
I'll show you ruin
I'll show you heartbreak
I'll show you lonely
A sorrow in darkness

Trevor

Quote from: Alex on March 30, 2022, 03:01:57 AM

As a father, I am officially allowed to make bad dad jokes. In fact, I think it is compulsory.

Indeed :teddyr:

My Dad had a good one once: I brought one of my ninja turtles home with me and Mom chucked him into the washing machine (the turtle, not Dad  :buggedout: :wink:). Once it was out and dried off, Dad looked at it and said "Ah, nice. He hasn't been in the sewers lately."  :teddyr: :teddyr:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

pacman000

What do you call the chicken who tried to cross the road?

Splats!

(Also works for rabbits, squirrels, cats, & small dogs.)

What do you call the BIG dog which tried to cross the road?

Crunch!

(Also works for alligators, bobcats, & buck deer.)

What do you call the bandicoot who tried to cross the road?

Crash!

(I think I'll show myself out now...)
Video Game Article Archive: https://vgaa.neocities.org/
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Zapranoth

How do you know the Oscar slap wasn't staged?

Will Smith's son wasn't cast in it.

zombie no.one

Why was the mushroom so popular?

He was a very entertaining fellow to be around.
please do not mock my potato.

indianasmith

How do you pick up Branch Davidian women?

With a dustbuster!!

(That was funny for about a two year window during the 1990's)
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

Trevor

Quote from: indianasmith on April 03, 2022, 09:15:56 PM
How do you pick up Branch Davidian women?

With a dustbuster!!

(That was funny for about a two year window during the 1990's)

:buggedout::teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

RCMerchant

#1222
A farmer walks into his bedroom where his wife is,  holding a sheep under his arm. He says " This is the pig I been f**king."
His wife says-"You idiot! That's not a pig- that's a sheep!"
The farmer says- "Shut up! I was talking to the sheep!"
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

bob

Have I told my construction joke?

I'm working on it
Kubrick, Nolan, Tarantino, Wan, Iñárritu, Scorsese, Chaplin, Abrams, Wes Anderson, Gilliam, Kurosawa, Villeneuve - the elite



I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

indianasmith

I went shopping for clothes the other day, and saw a really shiny pair of red boxers.  I was tempted for a moment, but then I said:

"NOT TODAY, SATIN!"
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

RCMerchant

^ That's so stupid! Why am a laughing my ass of?  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

RCMerchant

Hitler joke time!

What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common?

They both used their brain to paint a ceiling.
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

indianasmith

What's the difference between George Washington and Luke Skywalker?

Washington needs his right hand man back,
Skywalker needs his right hand back, man!
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

zombie no.one

Why did the cheating chicken double-cross the road?
please do not mock my potato.

indianasmith

Why did David Hasselhoff start simply calling himself: "The Hoff?"


Because it was less Hassel.  :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"