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June 25, 2022, 03:06:20 AM
682658 Posts in 51703 Topics by 7275 Members
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 299046 times)
Alex
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« Reply #1215 on: March 30, 2022, 03:01:57 AM »

The police have dusted Chris Rock's face.

They found Fresh Prints.

 TeddyR TeddyR

Oy...........

As a father, I am officially allowed to make bad dad jokes. In fact, I think it is compulsory.
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Trevor
Uncle Zombie
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 19870


South African Film Activist & Chief Troublemaker


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« Reply #1216 on: March 30, 2022, 06:59:26 AM »


As a father, I am officially allowed to make bad dad jokes. In fact, I think it is compulsory.

Indeed TeddyR

My Dad had a good one once: I brought one of my ninja turtles home with me and Mom chucked him into the washing machine (the turtle, not Dad  Buggedout Wink). Once it was out and dried off, Dad looked at it and said "Ah, nice. He hasn't been in the sewers lately."  TeddyR TeddyR
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"Tear these things apart! You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed.... walk it off."
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 159
Posts: 1606


It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1217 on: March 30, 2022, 01:37:45 PM »

What do you call the chicken who tried to cross the road?

Splats!

(Also works for rabbits, squirrels, cats, & small dogs.)

What do you call the BIG dog which tried to cross the road?

Crunch!

(Also works for alligators, bobcats, & buck deer.)

What do you call the bandicoot who tried to cross the road?

Crash!

(I think I'll show myself out now...)
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Zapranoth
Eye of Sauron and
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Karma: 250
Posts: 1389



« Reply #1218 on: March 30, 2022, 02:23:51 PM »

How do you know the Oscar slap wasn't staged?

Will Smith's son wasn't cast in it.
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zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 569
Posts: 4123


Oookaay...


« Reply #1219 on: April 03, 2022, 01:39:10 PM »

Why was the mushroom so popular?

He was a very entertaining fellow to be around.
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2416
Posts: 14170


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1220 on: April 03, 2022, 09:15:56 PM »

How do you pick up Branch Davidian women?

With a dustbuster!!

(That was funny for about a two year window during the 1990's)
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"I'm always up for a little anarchy, as long as it's well-planned and carefully organized!"
Trevor
Uncle Zombie
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South African Film Activist & Chief Troublemaker


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« Reply #1221 on: April 03, 2022, 09:54:15 PM »

How do you pick up Branch Davidian women?

With a dustbuster!!

(That was funny for about a two year window during the 1990's)

 BuggedoutTeddyR TeddyR TeddyR
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"Tear these things apart! You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed.... walk it off."
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1222 on: April 10, 2022, 02:22:52 PM »

A farmer walks into his bedroom where his wife is,  holding a sheep under his arm. He says " This is the pig I been f**king."
His wife says-"You idiot! That's not a pig- that's a sheep!"
The farmer says- "Shut up! I was talking to the sheep!"
« Last Edit: April 10, 2022, 02:50:09 PM by RCMerchant » Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
bob
I survived Bucky Larson
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Torgo watches you masterbate!


« Reply #1223 on: May 05, 2022, 08:18:53 PM »

Have I told my construction joke?

I'm working on it
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 14170


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1224 on: May 05, 2022, 09:16:25 PM »

I went shopping for clothes the other day, and saw a really shiny pair of red boxers.  I was tempted for a moment, but then I said:

"NOT TODAY, SATIN!"
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"I'm always up for a little anarchy, as long as it's well-planned and carefully organized!"
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 26787


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1225 on: May 05, 2022, 09:43:49 PM »

^ That's so stupid! Why am a laughing my ass of?  BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 26787


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1226 on: May 05, 2022, 10:11:08 PM »

Hitler joke time!

What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common?

They both used their brain to paint a ceiling.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2416
Posts: 14170


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1227 on: May 06, 2022, 06:27:02 AM »

What's the difference between George Washington and Luke Skywalker?

Washington needs his right hand man back,
Skywalker needs his right hand back, man!
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"I'm always up for a little anarchy, as long as it's well-planned and carefully organized!"
zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 569
Posts: 4123


Oookaay...


« Reply #1228 on: May 06, 2022, 12:12:29 PM »

Why did the cheating chicken double-cross the road?
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2416
Posts: 14170


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1229 on: May 09, 2022, 10:50:27 PM »

Why did David Hasselhoff start simply calling himself: "The Hoff?"


Because it was less Hassel.  BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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"I'm always up for a little anarchy, as long as it's well-planned and carefully organized!"
Pages: 1 ... 80 81 [82] 83
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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