The truly terrible joke thread

Leah · May 26, 2012, 10:25:26 AM

My bed time is at 7:00, I go to bed at 7:05! (total bad ass here)

Leah · June 07, 2012, 07:40:10 PM

I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred.
the top answer was "How did you get in here you creep?!"

Allhallowsday · June 07, 2012, 08:05:55 PM

These aren't "terrible jokes". They're just not jokes.

How did MOSES make his cup or tea?
Hebrews it.

indianasmith · June 07, 2012, 11:42:04 PM

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it will take a long time and the light bulb must really want to change.

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
Three; one to lay hands on it and two to catch it when it falls out!

How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
Change? CHANGE?????

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
SO WHAT ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO SAY???

Leah · June 08, 2012, 08:06:21 AM

What did the Apple say to the Banana?
Nothing, Fruits can't talk.

How many Roaches does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they all scatter when the light comes on.

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A Walk.

what happens when a frog parks illegally?
the car gets toad.

Leah · June 08, 2012, 07:05:45 PM

Have you heard of the Salmon flu? the details are a little fishy currently.

Mofo Rising · June 11, 2012, 02:32:04 AM

Quote from: indianasmith on May 25, 2012, 10:30:19 PM
When Ronald Reagan was President, we had Johnny Cash and Bob Hope.
Now that Obama is President, we have no cash and no hope.

True enough, but to be fair, it only took two years of the Bush administration to kill both of those off.

Bob Hope (d. 7/27/03)
Johnny Cash (d. 9/12/03)

indianasmith · June 11, 2012, 08:13:31 AM

OK, I'll concede that was pretty funny! Now I can't use that joke anymore . . . .

Silverlady · June 12, 2012, 03:42:25 PM

Did you hear about the hitchhiker who never seemed to get anywhere? He liked to get on the road early to avoid the traffic.

Leah · June 19, 2012, 10:03:46 PM

What did the piece of bread say to the other piece of bread as they're having sex?
I'm gonna crumb, I'm gonna crumb!

(for visual version- http://www.badideatshirts.com/Assets/ProductImages/PS_0236_GONNA_CRUMB.jpg)

Venomx73 · June 19, 2012, 10:05:00 PM

Leah · June 19, 2012, 10:07:25 PM

Teeheee, that's funny!

Leah · June 21, 2012, 09:08:57 PM

Son: Father, what's for dinner?
Father: Wookie Steak!
Son: Is it any good?
Father: It's a little Chewy.

Venomx73 · June 21, 2012, 09:38:48 PM

Quote from: El Misfit on June 21, 2012, 09:08:57 PM
Son: Father, what's for dinner?
Father: Wookie Steak!
Son: Is it any good?
Father: It's a little Chewy.

now thats funny

indianasmith · June 27, 2012, 06:14:59 PM

My wife has been missing for two weeks now. This morning the sheriff came by and told me I should be prepared for the worst.

Drat! Now I have to go get all her stuff back from GoodWill.

The truly terrible joke thread

Venomx73

Venomx73