The truly terrible joke thread

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Once a guy was down in an outhouse poking with a stick and digging around.  His friend runs up and asks what he is doing.  He Says "I dropped my coat in here".  His friend says, man, your coat is ruins, we'll stop and get you another one on the way home.  The first guy says "Thats great, but my sandwich was in the pocket."

[Vik]

Why does Hitler have a pink car ?
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To drive with

[Silverlady]

How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony?  Just look for the sesame seed buns

What do you call a nervous cow?   beef jerky

How do you get 99 old ladies to say "f..k" all at the same time?  yell BINGO!

What do you call cheeze that's not yours? NACHO CHEEZE

[Leah]

which types of frogs can jump higher than a telephone pole? any, a telephone pole can't jump.

[Raffine]

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger.

[zombie no.one]

I lost my watch the other day. I'd look for it, but I don't have the time.

[indianasmith]

What did the German sausage lover say after his trip to the bathroom?

"The wurst is passed."


(or did I already use that one?)

[diamondwaspvenom]

Knock Knock, Who's there?

I'm a carrot 

[Vik]

Why does hitler have a pink telephone ?
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To telephone with.

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

[Leah]

What's an aliens' best friend? his MEGA DEATH RAY!

[ER]

Why are there so many people named Jones in the phone book?
Because they all have telephones!

[Mr. DS]

What do you call a masturbating bull?  
Beef Stroganoff

[Vik]

There was a tree next to a house, the tree fell on the house. What happened ?
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Nothing because there was no house, HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
(I made that on up myself)

[Allhallowsday]

Who's GREEN and SINGS...?  FRANK SNOTRA! 
Who's GREEN and SINGS ROCK 'n' ROLL??   ELVIS PARSLEY! 
What's BLACK and WHITE and BLACK and WHITE and BLACK and WHITE...?   A nun falling down the stairs. 

[Leah]

What do you call a masturbating bull?  
Beef Stroganoff