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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 407758 times)
Svengoolie 3
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« Reply #795 on: October 16, 2018, 07:03:52 AM »
Two archeologists we're exploring a newly discovered tomb in Egypt containing several dozen mummies.  One of them hears a loud "PPPRRRRAAAAPPP!" sound that is unmistakably the result of a huge release of flatulence.

A minute later he hears another one.  Annoyed at his colleague's lack of professionality he snaps "will you stop that?! "

The other archeologist says "Me?  I was about to tell you to stop letting rip! "

The first one says "What are you talking about?!  It's just the two of us in here,  so if you didn't fart and I didn't fart who did?! "
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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« Reply #796 on: October 18, 2018, 03:06:19 AM »
If attacked by a mob of clowns you should go for the juggler.
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
Svengoolie 3
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« Reply #797 on: October 18, 2018, 10:48:34 PM »
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
ER
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1761
Posts: 13479


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)
« Reply #798 on: October 19, 2018, 08:42:18 PM »
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on October 18, 2018, 10:48:34 PM

Cute! Reminds me of vintage Far Side. If you hadn't said you hate me, my children, family, and most of my friends, I'd give you good karma.
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 12901


Hi there!
« Reply #799 on: October 19, 2018, 11:22:54 PM »
What does watching porn on the computer and pressing shift five times in a row have in common? You'll end up with sticky keys. >.>
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yeah no.
ER
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1761
Posts: 13479


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)
« Reply #800 on: October 20, 2018, 08:48:23 AM »
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were stuck in a box canyon surrounded by fifty Comanche, so the Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Well I guess we have reached the final chapter."

To which Tonto replied, "Do I know you, paleface?"
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1558
Posts: 12653
« Reply #801 on: October 20, 2018, 03:32:48 PM »
I had a bit of trouble today after I accidently rear ended another car this morning.

Turned out the driver was a dwarf. He got out the car and yelled "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

So, I asked him "Oh, which one are you then?"

That was when the fight started.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: -166
Posts: 5821
« Reply #802 on: October 20, 2018, 07:55:09 PM »
 A particularly loud, offensive, irritating christian woman in my neighborhood who loved to share her rleigious views with everyone possible whether they wanted to hear them or not went on a tirade against "50 shades of grey" and was bellering at everyone around, including in several newspaper letters, how the book was evil and written by the devil himself and nothing but since and demonic  influence. She bragged about getting a copy, starting to read it and being unable to finish so she threw it down a sewer to get rid of it.

I noted it was summer at the time and she slept with a window open. One day I bought a new copy of the book, waiting to around 2AM, snuck oiver to her house and, after raising the bug screen, gently tossed it on her bed with her.


Neighbors heard the scream around 6:30.
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1761
Posts: 13479


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)
« Reply #803 on: October 20, 2018, 08:33:13 PM »
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on October 20, 2018, 07:55:09 PM
A particularly loud, offensive, irritating christian woman in my neighborhood who loved to share her rleigious views with everyone possible whether they wanted to hear them or not went on a tirade against "50 shades of grey" and was bellering at everyone around, including in several newspaper letters, how the book was evil and written by the devil himself and nothing but since and demonic  influence. She bragged about getting a copy, starting to read it and being unable to finish so she threw it down a sewer to get rid of it.

I noted it was summer at the time and she slept with a window open. One day I bought a new copy of the book, waiting to around 2AM, snuck oiver to her house and, after raising the bug screen, gently tossed it on her bed with her.


Neighbors heard the scream around 6:30.




A little funny, but don't you like any sort of humor but the kind that ends in schadenfreude?
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: -166
Posts: 5821
« Reply #804 on: October 24, 2018, 05:15:34 PM »
https://www.gocomics.com/andycapp/2018/10/03
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!
« Reply #805 on: October 26, 2018, 05:09:32 PM »
The other night my wife was feeling a bit frisky and started dancing on the kitchen table.
"What strong legs!" I said.
"You really think so?" she asked.
"Absolutely!" I replied.  "Most tables would have broken by now!"


And then the fight started . . .
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1104
Posts: 12901


Hi there!
« Reply #806 on: October 27, 2018, 09:58:34 AM »
dick jokes are really hard to swallow, at least on the internet.
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yeah no.
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1558
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« Reply #807 on: October 29, 2018, 03:51:39 PM »
Someone posted they were baking some synonym buns. I asked if they were like the ones grammer used to make?

Now I am blocked.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1558
Posts: 12653
« Reply #808 on: October 29, 2018, 04:06:16 PM »
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: -166
Posts: 5821
« Reply #809 on: October 29, 2018, 06:55:52 PM »
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The doctor that circumcised Trump threw away the wrong piece.
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