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March 28, 2024, 01:03:16 PM
713351 Posts in 53056 Topics by 7725 Members
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 405497 times)
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1556
Posts: 12603



« Reply #1215 on: March 30, 2022, 03:01:57 AM »

The police have dusted Chris Rock's face.

They found Fresh Prints.

 TeddyR TeddyR

Oy...........

As a father, I am officially allowed to make bad dad jokes. In fact, I think it is compulsory.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2121
Posts: 22711



« Reply #1216 on: March 30, 2022, 06:59:26 AM »


As a father, I am officially allowed to make bad dad jokes. In fact, I think it is compulsory.

Indeed TeddyR

My Dad had a good one once: I brought one of my ninja turtles home with me and Mom chucked him into the washing machine (the turtle, not Dad  Buggedout Wink). Once it was out and dried off, Dad looked at it and said "Ah, nice. He hasn't been in the sewers lately."  TeddyR TeddyR
Logged

I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 181
Posts: 1714


It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1217 on: March 30, 2022, 01:37:45 PM »

What do you call the chicken who tried to cross the road?

Splats!

(Also works for rabbits, squirrels, cats, & small dogs.)

What do you call the BIG dog which tried to cross the road?

Crunch!

(Also works for alligators, bobcats, & buck deer.)

What do you call the bandicoot who tried to cross the road?

Crash!

(I think I'll show myself out now...)
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WebSiteRing, Listing Old Websites & Bible Verses since 2016! https://websitering.neocities.org/
Zapranoth
Eye of Sauron and
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 256
Posts: 1405



« Reply #1218 on: March 30, 2022, 02:23:51 PM »

How do you know the Oscar slap wasn't staged?

Will Smith's son wasn't cast in it.
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zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 667
Posts: 5112


Oookaay...


« Reply #1219 on: April 03, 2022, 01:39:10 PM »

Why was the mushroom so popular?

He was a very entertaining fellow to be around.
Logged

The Mandela Effect is a Mandela Effect
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1220 on: April 03, 2022, 09:15:56 PM »

How do you pick up Branch Davidian women?

With a dustbuster!!

(That was funny for about a two year window during the 1990's)
Logged

"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2121
Posts: 22711



« Reply #1221 on: April 03, 2022, 09:54:15 PM »

How do you pick up Branch Davidian women?

With a dustbuster!!

(That was funny for about a two year window during the 1990's)

 BuggedoutTeddyR TeddyR TeddyR
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30427


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1222 on: April 10, 2022, 02:22:52 PM »

A farmer walks into his bedroom where his wife is,  holding a sheep under his arm. He says " This is the pig I been f**king."
His wife says-"You idiot! That's not a pig- that's a sheep!"
The farmer says- "Shut up! I was talking to the sheep!"
« Last Edit: April 10, 2022, 02:50:09 PM by RCMerchant » Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
bob
I survived Bucky Larson
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 732
Posts: 8912


Torgo watches you masterbate!


« Reply #1223 on: May 05, 2022, 08:18:53 PM »

Have I told my construction joke?

I'm working on it
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I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1224 on: May 05, 2022, 09:16:25 PM »

I went shopping for clothes the other day, and saw a really shiny pair of red boxers.  I was tempted for a moment, but then I said:

"NOT TODAY, SATIN!"
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30427


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1225 on: May 05, 2022, 09:43:49 PM »

^ That's so stupid! Why am a laughing my ass of?  BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 30427


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1226 on: May 05, 2022, 10:11:08 PM »

Hitler joke time!

What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common?

They both used their brain to paint a ceiling.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1227 on: May 06, 2022, 06:27:02 AM »

What's the difference between George Washington and Luke Skywalker?

Washington needs his right hand man back,
Skywalker needs his right hand back, man!
Logged

"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 667
Posts: 5112


Oookaay...


« Reply #1228 on: May 06, 2022, 12:12:29 PM »

Why did the cheating chicken double-cross the road?
Logged

The Mandela Effect is a Mandela Effect
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1229 on: May 09, 2022, 10:50:27 PM »

Why did David Hasselhoff start simply calling himself: "The Hoff?"


Because it was less Hassel.  BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged

"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
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