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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 403590 times)
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
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Hi there!


« Reply #450 on: June 04, 2013, 02:46:03 PM »

Here's a joke- "Light Beer. Might as well call it Diet Alcoholic Water."

Thank you dad!
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yeah no.
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« Reply #451 on: June 04, 2013, 06:07:50 PM »


A duck went into a bar and after ordering a round for the entire tavern, he told the bartender to put it on his bill.....
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indianasmith
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #452 on: June 04, 2013, 06:18:08 PM »

The day after the shuttle Challenger blew up, one of the guys on my ship was telling this:

"What does NASA stand for?"
"Need another seven astronauts!"

We really dogged on him for it at the time, but 30 years later it is kinda funny.
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
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« Reply #453 on: June 05, 2013, 12:52:06 AM »


One time a guy pulled into this bar and saw a sign that said "Parking In The Rear" and decided to go in until he realized that was the name of the bar...

The German word for 'bra" is "Shtoppemfromfloppen".

A ditty bag is what you put your ditties in. If you have bigger ditties, you'll need a bigger ditty bag...


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Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
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« Reply #454 on: June 05, 2013, 02:14:42 AM »

Th worst joke I have ever heard is Shane Black's terrible joke to Sonny Landham in Predator: the one about the echo.  BuggedoutTeddyR TeddyR
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
Mofo Rising
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My cat can eat a whole watermelon!


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« Reply #455 on: June 05, 2013, 03:05:40 AM »

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smelly!

(My apologies to women, but truthfully, they're the only people who ever laugh at that joke.)
« Last Edit: June 05, 2013, 03:11:37 AM by Mofo Rising » Logged

Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills, get up and kill.
Chainsawmidget
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« Reply #456 on: June 07, 2013, 01:03:05 AM »

Hey!  Have you heard the joke that they don't tell morons?  



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Javakoala
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« Reply #457 on: June 09, 2013, 05:58:40 AM »

Hey!  Have you heard the joke that they don't tell morons?  


Along those lines:

How do you keep a moron in suspense?

I'll tell you later.
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Javakoala
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« Reply #458 on: June 09, 2013, 06:00:29 AM »

If I had a nickel for every time I said "If I had a nickel...", I'd be ten cents richer now.
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Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #459 on: June 27, 2013, 12:07:58 PM »

An Eskimo takes his car to the mechanic.

Mechanic says, "It looks like you blew a seal."

Eskimo says "No, that's just frost on my mustache."
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ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #460 on: June 27, 2013, 12:58:08 PM »

A sadist and a masochist meet.

The masochist says, "Hurt me!"

The sadist says, "No."
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Jack
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« Reply #461 on: June 27, 2013, 01:35:50 PM »

Ever seen a plastic a** hole?

Give me your driver's license and I'll show you one.
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The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.

- Paulo Coelho
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« Reply #462 on: June 27, 2013, 01:54:38 PM »

 A fan and a vacuum cleaner were having an argument:

"You suck!" said the fan.

"Oh yeah, well blow me!" said the vacuum cleaner   Cheers

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Chainsawmidget
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« Reply #463 on: June 27, 2013, 07:58:28 PM »

You know, it's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs.  They always take things literally. 
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« Reply #464 on: June 29, 2013, 10:54:56 AM »

Th worst joke I have ever heard is Shane Black's terrible joke to Sonny Landham in Predator: the one about the echo.  BuggedoutTeddyR TeddyR

Oh yes....the one where Sonny breaks out laughter after Black explains the punch line to him.  Not to mention the one he told at the beginning, where hae says he asks his girlfriend for a little ***sy and she says "me too, mine's a s big as a house!".
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