The truly terrible joke thread

[RCMerchant]

A MILF is Mentally Ill Ladies I'd like to Fvck.

[ER]

A MILF is Mentally I'd Like to Fvck.

Not bad....

[RCMerchant]

 ^ I meant mentally ill.  

[RCMerchant]

A girl asked me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt.

So I f**ked her 3 times and punched her in the face!

( It took me a while to figure out the math on that one. I'm not good at math.)

[Allhallowsday]

A girl asked me to give her 9 inches and make it it hurt.

So I f**ked her 3 times and punched her in the face!

( It took me a while to figure out the math on that one. I'm not good at math.)

That's not even a joke, that's just offensive.   

[RCMerchant]

^ It's the terrible joke thread, man.  
It's a joke about someone with a 3 inch dick!
Who punches someone in the face!

I dunno- I thought it was funny...

[RCMerchant]

I was talking to my Great Uncle when I was a kid ( he was 82- old bastard), and we were walking down main street in Lawton, and he says  " See that barn! I helped build that 60 years ago!"
I say " Cool"
He points to a hardware store. " I started that hardware store in 1948! And that cocksucker Bob stole it out from under me!" I guess Bob was his business partner or some s**t.
He says "See that courthouse! I was a judge there!"
I'm impressed with the old guy!

"But people hate me!"

"Why"   I says.

"Because I got caught f**king a goat!"

[RCMerchant]

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

[ER]

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

You're on fire in this thread tonight, RC!

[RCMerchant]

^ I got nothing better to do.

This one is real stupid.

If Hitler starred in the ROOM his line would be " I did not Hitler! I did not!"




It doesn't get better.

[RCMerchant]

My grandfather died in a Nazi concentration camp.

He fell off a guard tower.  

[RCMerchant]

In prepared remarks, Ted Cruz' said that allowing felons the right to vote would allow Charles Manson to vote. Manson has been dead for three years.

Ted Cruz being scared of Charles Manson voting is actually a better argument for Ted Cruz not to be allowed to vote.

He's a moron. He shouldn't even be allowed to hold sharp objects.
Now, Charlie...he was pretty good with talking s**t and holding sharp objects at the same time!
This is not even a joke. It's just an observation.
Kinda like Trump told his folks to storm the Capitol, and people died.- except Manson got convicted.
I ain't saying Manson shouldn't have gone to prison. That's good! He was an ego maniac!
Manson never killed anybody. He just told people to.
Figure out the rest yourself.

[indianasmith]

Would a Soviet sharpshooter technically be called a Marx-man?

[RCMerchant]

I got my dick stuck in a mouse trap!
Because I had dick cheese on my dick and sat near a mousetrap trying to catch a sneaky mouse, but I reached over for my bottle of whiskey, and the f**king thing went off!
How that happened is real weird! Not something that happens every day!

[RCMerchant]

A guy walks into a store and orders some sausage.

The guy wearing the apron says- " You want Polish sausage?"

"How did you know I wanted Polish sausage?" the guy says

The other guys says- "Because this is a hardware store."