The truly terrible joke thread

[Alex]

You can send files to Bugs Bunny if you wish.

No using Google Drive though.

He only accepts Whatsapp docs.

[ER]

How many German existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?

A fish.

[Alex]

What do you call a woman who won't give head?

A taxi.

[ER]

(I heard this during the 2004 elections.)

Why should the Democrats put a lesbian on the ticket?

She'd have lots of experience when it came to licking Bush....

[Alex]

If someone was to do a remake of The Shining in Lego, would it be directed by Stanley Ku-Brick?

[indianasmith]

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar . . . . followed by Batman!

[zombie no.one]

why was 6 afraid of 7?

because 7 was a homicidal maniac.

[Leah]

Did you know that people eat more bananas than monkeys?

I mean when was the last time you saw someone eat a monkey?

[zombie no.one]

 I told my wife I had a car made of spaghetti, but she didn't believe it

...until I drove pasta

[Rev. Powell]

My girlfriend told me I have to stop with the constant sexual innuendo. I told her it's going to be hard.

[indianasmith]

What did God say after creating a 24-hour cycle of darkness and light?

"I think I'm gonna call it a day."

[ER]

Jokes for Existentialists, Part 6:

Do people in hell dream?

Oatmeal dropped on your napkin.

[ER]

A mom took her twins in for a dental checkup, and the dentist came to the waiting room and said, "I got some good news and some bad news."

"Uh, let me guess," said the mom, "after taking a look at my twins' teeth, you realized you can finally pay off your sports car?"

"No," said the dentist, "I'm no longer hungry, and you've still got one kid left!"

[Leah]

Q: What's green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree?

A: A pool table falling from the tree.

[Rev. Powell]

Moebius strip walks into a bar sobbing. Bartender asks, "what's wrong, buddy?" Moebius strip says, "Where do I even begin?"