The truly terrible joke thread

[Leah]

ER was arrested for public nudity while playing tennis.

The sign said "Only  tennis shoes allowed while on court. "

How do you know ER belongs to the ku klux Klan?

She just takes old ni--er jokes she hears from them and puts othermpeopllecs names in them.

Show me where on the  doll where ER hurt you to the point where you had to make this bulls**t.

[Svengoolie 3]

Hey EM how about looking back at all the s**t she threw at me and b***hing at her for once? Or are yoiu a white knight?

[Allhallowsday]

Okay; she asked for it.  But her jokes were funny...

[indianasmith]

They also used proper spelling and grammar! 

[Leah]

Hey EM how about looking back at all the s**t she threw at me and b***hing at her for once? Or are yoiu a white knight?

I mean technically you did respond to that before the newest insult.

[indianasmith]

ER posted those jokes a month ago and Sven is just now responding. . .

does it really take four weeks to think of a lame comeback?

[Gabriel Knight]

ER posted those jokes a month ago and Sven is just now responding. . .

does it really take four weeks to think of a lame comeback?

Is that a rhetorical question? 

[Alex]

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

[BoyScoutKevin]

If Saint Trevor entered the Church, married a woman named Beverly, and had twins named Devin Kevin and Maven Raven, then he'd be . . .
the Rev Trev with Bev and their kids Dev Kev and Mave Rave. And he thanks you.

He'd liked to say this joke is totally original, but it's not, as it's a variation on a joke fround in James Runcie's The Road to Grantchester, which is a prequel to the ITV TV series. He recommends the book, as oddly enough or maybe not, it comes across as being a surprisingly realistic portrayal of Italy during the War and then the War's aftermath in England, for both straights and gays. And if the writer's name sounds familiar, the writer's father was at one time the Archbishop of Canterbury.

[Olivia Bauer]

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint. The barkeeper says, "You're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"

The horse replies, "I don't think I am." and vanishes from existence.

See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of "I think, therefore, I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.

---

Note: I didn't make this joke. I got it from a user named vagueblanche on reddit.

[ER]

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
(She didn't want to get to the other side.)

[Leah]

Two guys are talking outside, one of them says that it smells like dog poop. "I don't smell it" says the other guy, "However I don't smell too good"

[indianasmith]

How many ears does Mr. Spock have?

Three.  A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear!

[pacman000]

What's that perfume you're wearing?

Vicks; I have a cold.

[Leah]

A father and son are sitting on a bench. The son asks if they're pyromaniacs. The father replies"Yes we arson"