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May 18, 2021, 10:08:52 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 229881 times)
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #1170 on: April 04, 2021, 02:18:35 PM »

Guy gets ID'd at a liquor store.
Counter guy says what's your birthday?
The customer says August 20th.
"No- what year?"
"Every year."
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
ralfy
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« Reply #1171 on: April 08, 2021, 10:38:04 AM »

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 Small | Large
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kornula
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« Reply #1172 on: April 13, 2021, 11:08:13 PM »

*knock knock*

Who's there?

Phillip Glass.

Phillip Glass who?

*knock Knock*

Who's there?

Phillip Glass

Phillip Glass who?




(it does help if you know Phillip Glass's music)

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RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 0
Posts: 24347


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1173 on: April 25, 2021, 12:19:39 PM »

An guy walks into a party store , picks up a Mars bar, and stomps on it.

"Look! I'm the first man to step foot on Mars!"



Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 24347


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1174 on: April 25, 2021, 12:40:04 PM »

What's the easiest way to unload a truck full of babies?

With a pitchfork!

(Yeah- a dead baby joke  Twirling)
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 0
Posts: 24347


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1175 on: April 25, 2021, 12:43:23 PM »

What's the best thing about a dead baby?

If you stick their little fingers into a light socket, and it spasms- you know it works!
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 121
Posts: 1192


It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1176 on: April 25, 2021, 02:48:39 PM »

The guru is meditating...

He says you should’ve bought a Mac.
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Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #1177 on: April 25, 2021, 07:55:27 PM »

I am going bananas...

Is what I say to my bananas before I leave the house.
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot.
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1178 on: April 26, 2021, 02:00:59 AM »

BounceGiggle BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 526
Posts: 3883


Oookaay...


« Reply #1179 on: April 26, 2021, 07:22:55 AM »

 for the uk crowd...


A German guy called Hans gets a job washing up plates in the kitchen of a seafood restaurant. As a special treat after his first shift, the boss says "You can have anything off the menu you want, and I'll cook it for you right now!".

"Wow thanks," says Hans, "I think I'll have some squid!"

"Sure," says the boss "the squid are in this tank over here, choose which one you want and I'll cook it for you."

"I think I'll have that crazy looking green one right there, the one that looks like it's got a mustache."

"Are you sure?" says the boss  "Why do you want that one?"

"Because Hans that do dishes need wild green hairy-lip squid!"
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You only get to be thoroughly honest when you’re being honest about your own inherent dishonesty
Allhallowsday
B-Movie Kraken
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!


« Reply #1180 on: April 26, 2021, 10:27:29 AM »

What's the easiest way to unload a truck full of babies?

With a pitchfork!

(Yeah- a dead baby joke  Twirling)

What's WORSE than a truck load of dead babies?  One... alive... trying to eat its way out!
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If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2340
Posts: 13790


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1181 on: April 26, 2021, 09:38:40 PM »

What's pink and bubbly and taps on the window?

A baby in a microwave!
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"I'm always up for a little anarchy, as long as it's well-planned and carefully organized!"
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 0
Posts: 24347


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #1182 on: May 03, 2021, 05:48:59 AM »

My boss caught me smoking a joint on the job. He said-
"Do you want to work or smoke pot all day?"

Easiest question ever.
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)

Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
http://ronaldcmerchant.tumblr.com/
ralfy
Bad Movie Lover
***

Karma: 24
Posts: 154



« Reply #1183 on: May 07, 2021, 05:52:44 AM »

"Are Fish Wet Underwater?"

Error 404 (Not Found)!!1 Small | Large

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Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
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Posts: 22277


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #1184 on: May 12, 2021, 11:48:31 AM »

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she broke up with me before we met. (credit Steven Wright)
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot.
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