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June 27, 2022, 10:39:40 PM
682723 Posts in 51705 Topics by 7276 Members
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 299374 times)
zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 569
Posts: 4124


Oookaay...


« Reply #1230 on: May 19, 2022, 05:31:38 AM »

and the barman says "sorry sir, we don't serve time-travellers here."

a man walks into a bar.
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Brad Brown is back in town
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 161
Posts: 1612


It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1231 on: May 22, 2022, 12:58:07 PM »

Someone yelled “Disco, duck!” And I looked to see a mirrorball flying at my head.
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Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2830
Posts: 23926


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #1232 on: May 24, 2022, 09:35:33 AM »

A proton walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like a beer."

The bartender replies, "Are you sure?"

The proton says, "I'm positive."

------------------------------

A neutron walks into the same bar and asks for a beer.

The bartender serves him the beer and the neutron asks, "What do I owe you?"

The bartender replies, "You, no charge."
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot.
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 161
Posts: 1612


It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1233 on: May 27, 2022, 06:23:38 PM »

So a snake walks into a bar.

“Hey!” The bartender says. “You can’t walk in here! You don’t have any legs!”
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2416
Posts: 14171


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1234 on: May 27, 2022, 06:29:53 PM »

Why are your eyes the last part of the body to die?

Because your pupils dilate!
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"I'm always up for a little anarchy, as long as it's well-planned and carefully organized!"
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1070
Posts: 12626


Hi there!


« Reply #1235 on: June 05, 2022, 06:28:35 AM »

Somebody actually complimented on my driving today. They left a little not on my windshield that said Parking fine

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yeah no.
Trevor
Uncle Zombie
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 19879


South African Film Activist & Chief Troublemaker


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« Reply #1236 on: June 05, 2022, 01:38:30 PM »

Somebody actually complimented on my driving today. They left a little not on my windshield that said Parking fine

 TeddyR TeddyR
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"Tear these things apart! You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed.... walk it off."
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 161
Posts: 1612


It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1237 on: June 05, 2022, 02:52:39 PM »

No, I will not have my dog neutered. I named him King, not Eunuch!
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Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 1250
Posts: 9606



« Reply #1238 on: June 10, 2022, 11:05:58 AM »

I think I have an addiction to buying Beatles records.

My doctor asked me if I needed help, but I told him I already own 4 copies of it.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2416
Posts: 14171


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1239 on: June 18, 2022, 12:03:37 PM »

Two fervent Trump supporters died and went to heaven.
Once there, they requested an audience with God so they could ask a question.  St. Peter got them on the appointment calendar, and a few days later they were ushered in to the throne room.
"How can I help you, my children?" God asked.
"We want to know who was behind the massive voter fraud that stole the election from our beloved President Trump," they said.
God frowned.  "There was no massive voter fraud, and the election was not stolen.  Trump simply lost."
As they left, one of them turned to the other and said; "See, I told you this goes all the way to the top!!"
Logged

"I'm always up for a little anarchy, as long as it's well-planned and carefully organized!"
Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1250
Posts: 9606



« Reply #1240 on: June 18, 2022, 12:51:30 PM »

A woman had just given birth to a baby boy...

The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the foreskin to make him new eyelids." The father says," Won't that make him cock-eyed." The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight"
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
pacman000
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 161
Posts: 1612


It's root beer & a candy cigar!


« Reply #1241 on: June 24, 2022, 07:48:28 PM »


“I wanna be the very best!
Like no one ever was!
To catch them is my real quest!
To train them is my cause!”
 
”You’re going to catch small creatures & run them over with a train!?”
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