| Riff Raff | (DO THE TIME WARP!!!) SHOW US YOUR MOTHER RIFF. It's astounding, time is fleeting. Madness, takes it's toll, but listen closely... |
| Magenta | Not for very much longer. |
| Riff Raff | HOW MANY BALLS DO YOU HAVE? I've got to keep control. LOSE IT! I remember, doing the Time Warp! KICK! KICK! Drinking... ...those moment's when, the blackness would hit me, and the voice would be calling... |
| Transylvanians | Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! |
| Criminologist | HEY CHUCKIE, HOW'S IT DONE? It's just a jump to the left... |
| Transylvanians | And then a step to the right. |
| Criminologist | With your hands on your hips. OR SOMEBODY ELSE'S! |
| Transylvanians | You bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! |
| Magenta | It's so dreamy. Oh, fantasy free me! So you can't see me DO YOU DOUCHE? no not at all. WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR HAIR DONE? In another dimension, with voyeuristic intentions. WHERE ARE YOUR BREASTS? Where secluded, CAN YOU SEE THIS? (GIVE MAGENTA THE FINGER.) I see all. OH SHIT! |
| Riff Raff | With a bit of the mind flip. |
| Magenta | You're into the time slip! FUCK THAT BIRD, EAT THIS BAGEL, I'M NOT JEWISH! |
| Riff Raff | And nothing can ever be the same. |
| Magenta | You're spaced out on sensation. |
| Riff Raff | WHAT'S THE AUDIENCE? Like you're under sedation! |
| Transylvanians | Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! |
| Columbia | Well I was walking down the street, just a-having a think, when a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink. He shook-a me up, he took me by surprise, he had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes. He stared at me and I felt a change, time meant nothing, never would again. |
| Transylvanians | Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! |
| Criminologist | It's just a jump to the left. |
| Transylvanians | And then a step to the right. |
| Criminologist | With your hands on your hips. OR SOMEBODY ELSE'S! |
| Transylvanians | You bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT, SHOW US HOW YOU MASTURBATE! ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR GET YOUR ASS UP OFF THE FLOOR! Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! |
| Criminologist | HEY GET THE FUCK OFF THE DESK! It's just a jump to the left. |
| Transylvanians | And then a step to the right. |
| Criminologist | With your hands on your hips. OR SOMEBODY ELSE'S! |
| Transylvanians | You bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! A BEACHED WHALE, HARPOON IT! |
| Janet | Say something. |
| Brad | Say... ...one of you guys know how to Madison? ASSHOLE. |
| Janet | Brad please, let's get out of here. |
| Brad | BRAD, TELL JANET HOW TO GET OFF! For God's sake, keep a grip on yourself Janet. |
| Janet | But it seems so unhealthy here. |
| Brad | It's just a party Janet. |
| Janet | Well I want to go! |
| Brad | Well we can't go anywhere till I get to a phone. |
| Janet | Well then ask the butler or someone. |
| Brad | Just a moment Janet, we don't want to interfere with their celebration. |
| Janet | This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce Brad! |
| Brad | They're probably foreigners with ways different than our own. They may do some more... BUTT FUCKING? ...Folk Dancing. |
| Janet | Look, I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm just plain scared! |
| Brad | I'm here, there's nothing to worry about. (SCREAM) |
| Frank-N-Furter | How do you do, I see you've met my faithful HAND JOB MAN. handyman. He's just a little brought down, because when you knocked, he thought you were the Candy Man. Don't get strung out ON COCAINE! by the way I look, SAME THING. don't judge a book by it's cover. I'm not much of a man by the light of day, but by night I'm one SICK MOTHERFUCKER. hell of a lover. I'm just a sweet Transvestite, from Transsexual, Transylvania. Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound. You look like you're both pretty groovy. Or if you want something visual, that's not too abysmal, we could take in an old KEANU REEVES'. Steve Reeves' movie. |
| Brad | I'm glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry. |
| Janet | Right. |
| Brad | We'll just say where we are, then go FUCK IN THE CAR back to the car. We don't want to be any worry. |
| Frank-N-Furter | THROW IT! Well you got caught with a flat, well... ...how 'bout that? Well babies, don't you panic. By the light of the night, it'll all seem all right. I'll get you a HISPANIC! Satanic mechanic. I'm just a sweet Transvestite, from Transsexual, Transylvania. Why don't you stay for the night? |
| Riff Raff | Night. NIGHT! |
| Frank-N-Furter | Or maybe a bite? |
| Columbia | Bite! BITE! BLAH! |
| Frank-N-Furter | I could show you my favorite obsession. SEX! I've been making a man. WHAT'S HE LOOK LIKE? With blonde hair and a tan. WHAT'S HE GOOD FOR? And he's good for relieving my HARD ON! tension. SAME THING. I'm just a sweet Transvestite HEY COLUMBIA CHECK HIM OUT! from Transsexual, Transylvania. Hit it! I'm just a DIESEL LOCOMOTIVE, WOOO! WOOO! sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania! WHAT DO YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? So! Come up to the lab, and see what's on the slab. I see you shiver with antici... SAY IT! CONSTI! ...pation. But maybe the rain, is really to blame, so I'll remove the cause... WHAT ABOUT THE SYMPTOM? ...but not the symptom! |
| Janet | Thank you. |
| Brad | Thank you very much. |
| Janet | Oh, oh Brad! |
| Brad | It's all right Janet, we'll play along for now and pull out the aces when the time is right. |
| Columbia | HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR SEX? Slowly, slowly, it's too nice a job to rush. |
| Brad | Hi! My name's Brad Majors. ASSHOLE. And this is my fiancee', Janet Weiss. SLUT. SPELL URINATE BRAD! You are, uh. CLOSE ENOUGH! |
| Columbia | You're very lucky to be invited up to Frank's laboratory, some people would give their LEFT TESTICLE. right arm for the privilege. |
| Brad | People like you, maybe? |
| Columbia | Hah! I DON'T DO LAUNDRY! I've seen it! GRAB SOMETHING USEFUL BRAD, LIKE A SHOE! |
| Magenta | Come along, the Master doesn't like to be kept waiting. Shift it! DON'T DROP THE BOTTLE RIFF, SHIT IT'S SO HARD TO GET GOOD HELP THESE DAYS! FIRST FLOOR, STUPID PINEAPPLE LAMPS. |
| Janet | Is he, Frank I mean, is he your husband? |
| Columbia | Hah! |
| Riff Raff | The Master is not yet married, nor do I think he ever will be. We are simply his... SLAVES? ...servants. SAME THING. |
| Janet | Oh.
|
