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THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW
AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION SCRIPT PAGE 13
Frank-N-FurterSTICK OUT YOUR TONGUE! HIT THEM ALL!
ColumbiaHOW DID YOU ENJOY SEX WITH FRANKIE? It was great when it all began, I was a regular Frankie fan. But it was over when he had the plan, to start a working on a muscle man. Now the only thing that gives me hope, is my love of a certain dope. Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.
Rocky HorrorI am just seven hours old. AND CAN'T DANCE! Truly beautiful to behold. BUT YOU CAN'T DANCE! And somebody should be told THAT YOU CAN'T DANCE! my libido hasn't been controlled. Now the only thing I've come to trust, IS JANET'S BUST! is an orgasmic rush of lust. FUCK THAT BOA! Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!
BradWHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU WANT TO CUM? It's beyond me, help me mommy! I'll be good, you'll see, take this dream away. What's this? THE FLOOR. Let's see. YEP, IT'S THE FLOOR! I feel sexy. What's come over me? FRANKIE! Whoa, here it comes again!
JanetOh, I feel released, bad times decreased. My TWAT SIZE! confidence has increased, reality is here. The game has been disbanded, my mind has been expanded. It's a gas that Frankie's landed, his lust is so sincere! BLOW US A KISS SLUT!
Frank-N-FurterRKO? I THOUGHT IT WAS TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX! NOW THE MOVIE DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SEE IT ALL OVER AGAIN! Whatever happened to Faye Wray? That delicate, satin draped frame. IT WAS POLYESTER. As it clung to her thighs. LIKE A HOMESICK ABORTION! How I started to cry... YOU'D CRY TOO IF YOU HAD A HOMESICK ABORTION STUCK TO YOUR LEG! ...cause I wanted to be dressed just the same. KICK THAT DICK! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh. Erotic nightmares, beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it, oh, oh, ho... I SAID THE CEILING NOT THE FLOOR, THAT'S THE LAST TIME I HIRE A NINJA TURTLE TO DO ANYTHING! HEY WAITER, THERE'S A TRANSVESTITE IN MY SOUP. SHUT UP OR EVERYBODY WILL WANT ONE. THE TITANIC IS THE ONLY THING FRANKIE HASN'T GONE DOWN ON! Don't dream it, be here... ...don't...
Dr. ScottCLEAR YOUR THROAT SCOTTY! Ach! We've got to get out of this trap. Before this decadence saps our wills. I've got to be strong and try to hang on, or else my mind may well snap! CRACKLE, POP! And my life, will be lived... WHY DO YOU MASTURBATE? ...for the thrill!
BradHOW DEEP IS JANET'S PUSSY? It's beyond me, help me mommy! DROWN THE ASSHOLE!
JanetGod bless Lily St. Cyr!
Frank-N-FurterWHOSE ORGY IS THIS? My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my! I'm a wild and an untamed thing. I'm a bee with a deadly sting. You get ahead and your mind goes ping! Your heart'll pump and your blood will ring. So let the party and the sounds rock on! We're gonna shake it till the light has gone. Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my troubles and pain! JOHN, PAUL, GEORGE, RINGO!
ALLWe're a wild and an untamed thing. We're a bee with a deadly sting. You get ahead and your mind goes ping! Your heart'll pump and your blood will ring. So let the party and the sounds rock on! TILT THE STAGE RIGHT! TILT THE STAGE LEFT! We're gonna shake it till the light has gone. Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my troubles and pain! We're a wild..
Riff RaffFrank N Furter, it's all over. Your mission is a failure, your lifestyle's too extreme! I'm your new commander, you now are my prisoner. We return to Transylvania, prepare the transit beam.
Frank-N-FurterWait! CAN YOU EXPLAIN? I can explain! IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD, YOU DIED LAST TIME! COLUMBIA, GET THE LIGHTS. ROCKY, DO EVERYTHING ELSE. HOW COME ROCKY KNOWS WHERE EVERYTHING IS, BUT FRANK DOESN'T? LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOR ONE NIGHT AND ONE NIGHT ONLY, THE AMAZING ALFALFA! On the day I went away, good-bye IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY? was all I had to say, I want to come again SO DOES BRAD. and stay. Smile, and that will mean I may. Cause I've seen, WHAT COLOR? oh! THAT'S NOT A COLOR! Blue skies through the tears in my eyes. And I realize... THAT ISN'T MABELINE AND IT'LL PROBABLY SMEAR! ...I'm going home! INSTANT AUDIENCE! WHERE HAVE YOU HAD SEX FRANK? Everywhere... EVERYWHERE? ...it's been the same. WHAT'S IT LIKE WHEN BRAD PEES ON YOU? Like I'm outside in the rain. Free to try and find the game. Cards for sorrow, cards for pain! (THROW CARDS.) Cause I've seen... ...oh! Blue skies through the tears in my eyes. And I realize... I'M FUCKING STONED! ...I'm going home! I'm going home! I'm going home! I'm going home!
MagentaHow sentimental. WHERE'S WALDO?
Riff RaffAnd also presumptuous of you. F! You see, K! SPELLS FUCK! When I said we were to return to Transylvania, I referred only to Magenta and myself. I'm sorry, however, if you found my words misleading. But you see, you are to remain here... ...in spirit anyway!
Dr. ScottGreat heavens, that's a laser!
Riff RaffYes Dr. Scott, a laser capable of emitting a beam of pure antimatter. THEN IT DOESN'T MATTER!
BradYou mean you're going to kill him? NO, JUST ROUGH HIM UP A BIT. What's his crime?
Dr. ScottYou saw what became of Eddie! Society must be protected. FUCK SOCIETY! BETTER NOT, YOU'LL GET A SOCIAL DISEASE.
Riff RaffExactly Dr. Scott. And now, Frank N Furter, your time has come. Say good-bye to all of this... GOOD-BYE ALL OF THIS! ...and hello to oblivion. HI OBLIVION, HOW'S THE WIFE AND KIDS? FIRST DYKE TO SCREAM GETS IT BETWEEN THE TITS! OH SHIT, THAT THING REALLY WORKS! CLIMB THE CURTAIN FRANK! MY LINE, I FORGOT MY LINE! THANK YOU! DON'T LIFT THAT CURTAIN ROCKY, THERE'S BAD MUSIC UNDER IT! THEY KILLED THE TIDY BOWL MAN!
BradGood God!
JanetYou've killed them! NO SHIT SHIRLEY!
MagentaBut I thought you liked them. They liked you.
Riff RaffGET PARANOID RIFF! They didn't like me! GET MORE PARANOID RIFF! They never liked me!
Dr. ScottYou did right! KISS ASS!
Riff RaffA decision had to be made. AND YOU FUCKED IT UP!
Dr. ScottYou're okay by me. NANOO-NANOO!
Riff RaffDr. Scott, I'm sorry about your... ...nephew.
Dr. ScottEddie? Yes, well perhaps it was for the best.
Riff RaffYou should leave now Dr. Scott, while it is still possible. We are about to beam the entire house back to the planet of Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania. Go! WHEN? Now! WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING?
MagentaHa! Ha!
Riff RaffOur noble mission is almost completed, my most beautiful sister and soon we shall return to the moon-drenched shores of our beloved planet.
MagentaGO FOR THE OSCAR! Sweet Transsexual, land of night! To sing and dance once more to your dark refrains. NO OSCAR! To take that... ...step to the right!
Riff RaffHah! But it's the pelvic thrust!
TransylvaniansThat really drives you insane!
MagentaOn our world, we'll do the Time Warp again! SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW, CASTLES FLY! MY CRIPPLE, WHERE'S MY CRIPPLE? OH, THERE HE IS. (STAND UP AND SPIN THE SCREEN.) STOP THE WORLD, I WANT TO GET OFF! HEY, GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF COLUMBIA.
CriminologistAnd crawling... WHERE? ...on the planet's face... WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? ...some insects... WHAT WHERE THEY CALLED? ...called the human race. WHERE'S YOUR NECK? ...lost in time... WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? ...and lost in space... STARRING JUNE LOCKHART! ...and meaning... WHO THE FUCK IS MEANING? DON'T FORGET TO TURN OFF THE GLOBE. SHIT! HE DOES THAT EVERY WEEK.
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Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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