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DRAGON FIGHTER - 1 Slime
Rated R
Copyright 2003 United Film Organization
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 13 November 2007

Capsule Review:    

In a relic from the Cold War, an underground bunker complex, a group of scientists is using a fusion generator to replicate living creatures. The researchers extract a DNA sample from something, fill the cloning tank with creature-making solution, and turn on the computer. All they have to do then is wait until the progress indicator bars on the monitor fill all the way and, voila, instant puppy! Once simple, push-button cloning is perfected, the world will be a better place.

Abusing the gift of cloning is always a possibility, but that becomes a certainty when the head of the research group brings back a secret DNA sample that was found in an English cave. He convinces the others to go ahead with the experiment and a real live dragon results! We all know what happens next. The dragon gets loose in the old sections of the bunker that are not being used and eats several people. Pistols and shotguns cannot hurt the beast and the fusion generator is damaged, meaning that the trapped humans must find a way out before the laboratory blows sky high. Oh, and the only person capable of saving the day is the new military liaison officer, a brash and intelligent helicopter pilot.

The hero displays so much foresight that he annoys the audience. Not content with correctly deducing the type of experiments being conducted, he also knows a lot about cloning and guesses the mystery creature's identity before anyone else has a clue (except the head guy, who knew all along). Dude, why are you flying helicopters for the military? What you need to do is start your own psychic hotline. You will make millions. You know that.

Something the film did often was to tile the screen. It is like watching a movie via pop-up windows and it gets old really fast.

The real reason to watch the movie is to see the very end, with the dragon engaged in a dogfight against several F-16 jet fighters. Sadly, this is not as cool as it sounds and the hero resorts to shooting the monster with a flare gun so that an F-16 can lock on with a Sidewinder. Gosh darn it, where were the AMRAAMs or why didn't the pilots switch to cannon?

Not that targeting a fire-breathing dragon should have been difficult for a heat-seeking missile in the first place.


Things I Learned From This Movie:  

Green Dot The most dangerous thing about a dragon was the cave that it lived in.
Green Dot AD&D fanatics should never be placed in charge of a secret cloning laboratory.
Green Dot Dragons are able to grow from zygote to adult in less than twenty-four hours, but became extinct because they need central air to survive.
Green Dot Elevators are ovens that go up and down.

Stuff To Watch For:  

Green Dot 9 mins - The outside looks like a SH-60 Seahawk, but the interior is confusing me. Is this a different helicopter or creative set design?
Green Dot 15 mins - Okay, let's put this puppy back into the cage with the other sixty-one clones.
Green Dot 22 mins - Don't forget Norway and Germany.
Green Dot 82 mins - For the love of theater, they are wiggling to make this scene work!

Buy It Now Online:  

Buy it from Amazon.com   (United States)

Buy it from Movies Unlimited   (United States)


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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1]
Re: Dragon Fighter (Capsule Review)
Reply #1. Posted on November 13, 2007, 02:38:48 PM by Flangepart
Oh, the pain, the pain...
That ending. No good RPG would accept that without an explination.
That things has to glow in the dark with all the muscle activity! Even at only 1/4 range, the missle should track it. Its can't be cold blodded, in that environment...
And the cannon....the 20mm should up the AP anty. Take off its wings, at least.

Beside that, yeah...lots of MST potential here.
Re: Dragon Fighter (Capsule Review)
Reply #2. Posted on November 16, 2007, 01:22:13 PM by Jack
You got it right about Dean Cain.  Good grief, the guy is a security guard and he knows more about the experiment than any of the scientists.  And he just got there that day!  The guy totally ruined what could have been a below average bad movie. 
Re: Dragon Fighter (Capsule Review)
Reply #3. Posted on November 19, 2007, 06:09:29 PM by penny lizardo
Dean Cain can do nothing wrong!
I say the movie failed HIM.
For the best of what Dean Cain has to offer, watch "For the cause", staring Dean Cain and Dean Cain. Dean Cain stars as a general who is evil and badass, and likes killing people with guns and knives. Why haven't you reviewed this movie already! All Worship Cain!
Pages: [1]


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FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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