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"A website to the detriment of good film"

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What is this place? Who are you? Why is that watermelon there?, of course, a review website dedicated to bad movies, b-movies, and cult films. I am Andrew Borntreger, Gunnery Sergeant USMC and champion of cinematic disasters, at your service. Don't worry about the watermelon.

Why bad movies?
I like bad movies. Rather than spending $8 at the theater watching something that cost $100 million to make (thereby, making my ticket cost $8) and is complete crud - I can buy a bad movie. Besides, how can you not enjoy hopping brain monsters or Buddhist monks that display expert kung fu?

The reviews are not exactly model works of the English language. Who taught you how to write and why are you better than other movie reviewers?
I am a Marine with a high school education. We are lucky that I can spell "Neanderthal." As for the second part: I might not be able to write pretty reviews like some, but I can kick their ass. If you encounter any serious errors in a review, feel free to notify me via email or, better yet, on the Message Board.

You reviewed a film I love! How could you do that? You're a jerk with the brains of a rubarb.
First off, what rating did I give it? I tend to review movies that "fit" the site. They will not always be bad films, because cult and quirky movies also attract my interest. Second, I bet you are probably some pudgy little couch potato or sissy artsy-fartsy. I will kick your ass too. Third, why can you not spell rhubarb? Hit spell check and proof read before insulting people. It takes a good measure of the bite off when you appear to be an illiterate boob.

How does the rating system work?
The more slimes, the better (watch out for skulls). There is a short legend at the bottom of the listings page.

What are the best and worst b-movies?
My best and worst lists change often. I think that some viewings being fresh in my memory accounts for that oddity. Anyway, some movies are literally "so bad they are good." A better meter for measuring these films is how well they keep you entertained. Remember, just about anything can have redeeming qualities. Well, except for "The Trial of Billy Jack." Maybe there is something redeeming in there, but it would take an editor removing half of the celluloid fat for us to ever find it...

You really do not like George Kennedy? He is not that bad of an actor.
How much is he paying you anyway?

What have you got against him?
George Kennedy is the Antichrist.

He is not!
Silence, disbeliever.

Whatever... often do you review new movies?
The website is updated weekly, usually on Saturday or Sunday.

I am looking for this horrible movie I saw once on TV. Can you help me?
Post the question on the Forum. The regulars have a good track record of helping people find lost films. Include as much as you can remember, because every little bit helps.

Okay, I found it. Where can I buy it?
At the bottom of all my reviews are links to buy the movie (If available.), you can also check out my links for Where to Purchase B-Movies.

How did you make the image, video, and sound clips?
This question does come up often. My current setup is a Dell E1505 laptop, with a Pinnacle Moviebox Plus USB2 capture device. The Moviebox unit comes with editing software, Pinnacle's Studio Plus, that I use to capture and edit the video. To edit the audio clips, I use a Soundblaster Live! USB and the included Wave Studio software. A Pioneer DVL-700 Laserdisc/DVD player, Pioneer VSX-D557 Tuner, and Sony 4-Head Stereo VCR complete the setup. When capturing from DVD or LD, I use the super VHS connector on my Moviebox; VHS tapes are using the standard RCA jacks on the Moviebox.

It should be mentioned why I include all these in the reviews. When I write an article, what I want to do is explain the movie to the reader. Tell them what works, what does not work, and what looks silly. Hopefully, after reading some of the reviews, you are interested in watching the movie.

You have to review this movie I watched, it's called "Hell Hamster." There is one scene with William Penn's statue in Philadelphia coming to life and fighting Satan!
Sounds like a cool film. I do receive emails every week asking me to review a specific title. Since I only review a few movies every month, there is a problem. DO NOT dump fifty emails, asking me to review the same film, in my lap. It will only annoy me and the delete key is mighty handy. Plus, I will kick your ass.

I would like to use some files from your website. Is anything protected by copyright?
I provide the video, image, and sound files in compliance with the Fair Use Law. The link will also point out that the actual reviews (text) are my property. Do not reproduce them in any form without authorization (using pieces of them is no problem, because that is fair use). Anyone may freely link to any specific movie review on this site, just not directly to an image, sound, or video file.

Oh, so you make money off this site...
The site does operate in the green, which is good. I am not interested in reaping huge profits, but think that the site should support its operating costs. Though they may be lucrative, you will not encounter pop-up or under advertisements on the site. I, like you, find them to be annoying.

I am starting a website to review b-movies. Do you have any advice?
Determine a manageable update schedule for yourself and stick to it. Use a spellchecker on the articles and proofread them. If possible, have someone else proofread them for you as well. Create a general layout - come up with a theme and feel for the site, including a simple navigation system, and use it for every page. Post a number of reviews or articles before you email established b-movie sites and ask them for links. I cannot count the number of times that new websites ask me for a link, but when I go there I find one review and multiple sections saying "Coming Soon." What good is that to anyone? Last, stick to it. People will come to your site and, if they enjoy it, will return again. When was first established, this is what I did and then watched the visitors change from a few per day to thousands. It might take some time, years even. If you truly enjoy watching b-movies and writing about them, the time passes quickly.

This is not what I am looking for. Where can I find some hardcore porn?
I prefer to keep the site friendly for viewers using a computer at their work. If you are looking for good porn, try clicking here (I have been known to mislead people).

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