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EVIL TOONS - 1 Slime
Rated R
Copyright 1992 American Independent Productions
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 27 November 2007

Capsule Review:    

A group of coeds is dropped off at an old mansion by the manager of a cleaning company (Dick Miller). He tells them to spend the weekend and have the place spick and span by Monday morning. Though the girls pile out of a van, they do not unload much in the way of cleaning supplies. What they do bring is mostly lingerie, and we all know how much space that takes up in an overnight bag. A stick of deodorant is larger. I was amused to note that one of the girls wears a pair of shorts that looks like the old Eclipse splash kit for an Automag paintball gun.

Yes, I am an AGD cultist. How many markers have you owned in the past ten years? I've had two: my Automag and the customized Automag I purchased after selling the older one. Stick that in your Ego and smoke it.

Back to the film, a mysterious figure (David Carradine) shows up in the middle of the night and delivers a cursed book to the girls. The nerdy girl in the bunch (Monique Gabrielle, with glasses and a simple hairdo) reads several passages from the tome and releases a cartoon demon. Meshing animation and live action is both tricky and expensive, so the evil toon snuffs the splash shorts-wearing girl and assumes her form. It then begins killing people, including a football jock who shows up for some nookie and Dick Miller, who suffers the same fate as Boy Scout Kevin in "Lair of the White Worm."

Did you ever wonder why college students insist on reading satanic incantations out of the old books they find in haunted houses?

There is not a lot of substance to this film. The four coeds look too old for the parts and act incredibly dumb, though we all know why they were cast. The women are here to dress up the film with lots of topless shots, and they deliver (in abundance). We do get to see Dick Miller watching himself, albeit much younger, demonstrating the wrong way to get a cat out of a wall in "A Bucket of Blood." Besides that, Mr. Miller leers at the girls and becomes frustrated with his girlfriend or wife (played by Michelle Bauer) when she fires up a gas-powered sex toy.

If I made this sound interesting, that was not my intent. Watch it for the boobies, particularly the always fun-to-look-at Monique Gabrielle.


Things I Learned From This Movie:  

Green Dot The normal diet of young women consists of white bread, bologna, individually-wrapped processed cheese slices, beer, and football players.
Green Dot The correct term is "washboard thighs."
Green Dot Satan is a breast man.
Green Dot Papyrus is made from pasteurized milk.

Stuff To Watch For:  

Green Dot 15 mins - "This scene is a little dark. Roxanne, could you please turn on your headlights? Thanks."
Green Dot 58 mins - How about running, screaming, down the street? Wasn't that the plan?
Green Dot 68 mins - What she needs is a Life Alert® necklace.

Buy It Now Online:  

Buy it from Amazon.com   (United States)


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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1]
Re: Evil Toons (Capsule Review)
Reply #1. Posted on November 27, 2007, 08:53:13 PM by Doc Daneeka
How many Random gratuitous breast shots in this one? BounceGiggle
Re: Evil Toons (Capsule Review)
Reply #2. Posted on November 30, 2007, 11:46:01 PM by Salvatore Strangeworth
Just to complete the Evil Dead knock-off-ness, the woman should've fused said gas-powered sex toy to her arm.
Re: Evil Toons (Capsule Review)
Reply #3. Posted on December 01, 2007, 08:15:25 AM by Mr. DS
This film really is one of the most ridiculous films ever made.  T and A factor is all over the place with a plot line built around it.  The only good part was Dick Miller commenting on how the young actor on tv he is watching (indeed its a younger version of himself) should have won an award. 
Re: Evil Toons (Capsule Review)
Reply #4. Posted on December 02, 2007, 02:20:55 PM by Ken Begg
This is still one of the better Fred Olen Ray movies of the '80s and early '90s (although it isn't a patch on Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers), made during that very brief period when being lame on purpose was actually sort of funny.  Probably the best moment in that regard is the cameo by HCH's Michelle Bauer, who literally shows up just long enough to show those young babes in the cast that her boobs still (literally) stood up to scrutiny.
 
Pages: [1]


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ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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