Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"

Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT




IMAGES
Image
Image
Image

SOUND CLIPS
fertilize_cap1.wav
fertilize_cap2.wav



IMDb Logo
Internet Movie Database



FERTILIZE THE BLASPHEMING BOMBSHELL! - Skull
Rated R
Copyright 1990 Holmby Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 20 November 2007

Capsule Review:    

A woman and her fiancée take a shortcut through the desert on their way to Vegas. They get lost and find a strange town that is not on any of their maps. While the guy asks for directions, the blonde calls her identical twin sister, who lives in Vegas and is waiting for the pair to arrive. Back on the road, the travelers quickly find that they are in trouble. The directions they were given end in a box canyon and the gas tank is empty, intentionally punctured. Black-robed cultists grab them both. The man is set on fire and rolls off a cliff (in a scene that worries me, because the stunt looked like it went bad). The girl is raped by the leader of the Satanic cult and then sacrificed.

Remember the identical twin? Her name is Susan and she felt her sister die; the shock woke her from a sound sleep. Using a little car that is poorly suited for unimproved roads, the blonde woman tries to track down her dead sister. Susan finds her twin's abandoned car and eventually stumbles upon the town of Satanists. Once she encounters the cult, the high priest (Robert Tessier) marks the blonde as Satan's #1 surrogate. During the impregnation ceremony, the blonde bombshell stabs the high priest and flees into the desert, where she succeeds in killing numerous Satanists during an extended chase. The woman impales one with a ridiculously blunt tree branch! Picked up by a helpful tow truck driver that she met earlier, Susan realizes that the man is also a member of the cult and stabs him in the neck with a large wooden cross!

This is a boring film. The female protagonist spends a lot of time just driving through the desert. After the foiled impregnation ceremony she spends a lot of time running through the desert. Even the extended car chase scene (also through the desert) is boring. It is like visiting your great grandfather - the one who sleeps all day. You watch him for hours, in the vain hope that he might move, speak, or otherwise prove to be more interesting than a fungus.

A final complaint: scenes were frequently too dark to make out what was going on.


Things I Learned From This Movie:  

Green Dot Spelled backwards, "Satanville" is indistinguishable from the names of other Southwestern towns.
Green Dot It's good to be the high cultist.
Green Dot The favored vehicle of the great defiler is the Volkswagon Beetle.
Green Dot A spade-shaped garden hoe is no substitute for a grappling hook.

Stuff To Watch For:  

Green Dot 2 mins - Based on their taunting insults, I would guess that this sect has caught themselves a Conservative.
Green Dot 15 mins - That looked poorly planned out and plain old dangerous.
Green Dot 62 mins - Just wait until 1999; all of Satan's studs will be saying, "Like, WTF? Why did I have to drink all that toad's blood?"
Green Dot Ending Credits - The soundtrack is so out of place that it doesn't seem to fit here, either.

Buy It Now Online:  

Buy it from Amazon.com   (United States)

Buy it from Movies Unlimited   (United States)


Share This Review:  



Stumble This ReviewStumble This Review     Digg This ReviewDigg This Review


Comments:Write CommentPages: [1]
Re: Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell! (Capsule Review)
Reply #1. Posted on November 26, 2007, 04:14:42 PM by Shenanigunner
How about a short MPEG of the stunt that bothers you? I'm curious about that, but not enough to track down a movie you've otherwise convinced me is a waste of celluloid...
Re: Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell! (Capsule Review)
Reply #2. Posted on November 26, 2007, 06:10:51 PM by Flangepart
Andrew, 'member what i said about the title of MERIDIAN? Kinda applys here. now you can plan for a specific kind of pain.
Re: Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell! (Capsule Review)
Reply #3. Posted on January 17, 2008, 03:12:15 PM by Jay T
You totally missed the best part of the film, the last line.  After the Twin is saved by Sheriff from plunging to her death, he grabs and basically tells her he is hungry and they need to get something to eat.  WTF?
Pages: [1]


 Share on Facebook
RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


Recommended Articles
How To Find A Bad Movie

The Champions of Justice

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Manos, The Hands of Fate

Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The Human Tornado

Maniac

The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

Do you have a zombie plan?

FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact
Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with Fair Use, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.