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HERCULES VS. THE HYDRA - 3 Slimes
Not Rated
Copyright 1960 Contact Organisation
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 18 December 2007

Capsule Review:    

Hercules' wife is killed as part of a complicated plot to seize control of Arcadia. Obviously, getting on the bad side of a man who can push continents apart is not smart. The main conspirator, Leko, reports the killing to the king of Arcadia and then assassinates him. When Hercules arrives at the city, he is faced with a problem. The guilt for the murder automatically passes from the king to his daughter, Deianeira (Jayne Mansfield). She must pass a test or be forsaken by the gods (and lynched by the populace). The woman is bound to an altar and Hercules throws big axes at the swooning female target until he either plants one in her skull or severs the ropes! Fortunately, the Greek hero succeeds in freeing the Queen without splitting her wig.

Having axes chucked at you must be an aphrodisiac, because the Queen falls in love with Hercules, but there is one little problem: she is already promised to another man. When Hercules learns of the arranged marriage, he immediately leaves. Leko kills the husband-to-be and blames the missing hero. To prove his innocence, Hercules chases after a conspirator and ventures near the gate to the underworld. Instead of what you might expect him to find, a three-headed dog, Mr. Muscle encounters a three-headed hydra that looks like a giant carnival prop. He defeats the monster, but is grievously wounded. The Amazon Queen, Hippolyta, takes him in and changes her body to look like Deianeira, so that Hercules will become her lover.

Hippolyta has some kind of crazy STD that makes any man who falls in love with her turn into a screaming human-shaped tree (they look more like Gumby, but you get the idea). The big stud barely avoids that fate because a friendly Amazon warns him of the danger. With Deianeira locked in a dungeon and Leko in control of Arcadia, it's up to Hercules and his oiled pectorals to save the day.

There are a lot of good sets and costumes, and I had forgotten how nicely Jayne Mansfield was shaped. Between her body and her demeanor, the woman would have made a good choice to play Deja Thoris in any film adaptation of Burroughs' Barsoom series.


Things I Learned From This Movie:  

Green Dot Real men do not wear flimsy curtains.
Green Dot The birthplace of rodeo is not Texas, nor even Wyoming; it is Greece.
Green Dot The Amazonian Empire eventually split; one branch became the International Red Cross, while the rest formed the "Plant a Man Foundation."
Green Dot Tree hugging can be dangerous.

Stuff To Watch For:  

Green Dot 13 mins - This is why nobody in Greece thinks that knock-knock jokes are funny.
Green Dot 39 mins - What are a pair of female Muslim mimes doing here?
Green Dot 50 mins - I am not sure why the Amazons keep calling the god Jupiter. Maybe the Amazons were Roman.

Buy It Now Online:  

Buy it from Amazon.com   (United States)

Buy it from Movies Unlimited   (United States)


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Comments:Write CommentPages: [1]
Re: Hercules vs. the Hydra (Capsule Review)
Reply #1. Posted on December 18, 2007, 03:25:48 PM by trekgeezer
Hey that's Mickey Hargitay playing Hercules beside his wife Jayne Mansfield.  For anyone who didn't know, they are the parents of Mariska Hargitay who plays Olivia Benson on Law & Order SVU.

You're  right about one thing, those Hercules movies sure like to mix up their histories. I've got one called Hercules vs. The Mongols.
Re: Hercules vs. the Hydra (Capsule Review)
Reply #2. Posted on December 22, 2007, 02:44:04 PM by BoyScoutKevin
Living in Texas, I just thought I point out, that--among other things--that originated in the Lone Star state, was the modern day concept of the rodeo. Little more then a hundred years ago, the cowboys of two neighboring ranches in west Texas decided to have a friendly competition to see who was the best at various events, we now associate with the rodeo. Thus was the first rodeo born.
Re: Hercules vs. the Hydra (Capsule Review)
Reply #3. Posted on December 26, 2007, 06:01:33 PM by Dave M
A lot of the Italian Hercules movies were originally about other hero's, like Maciste, but in the English versions they just use the most recognizable ancient strong man name. That's one reason why so many Hercules movies take place in weird places like Italy or North Africa. Or sometimes you see one with no monsters even.
Re: Hercules vs. the Hydra (Capsule Review)
Reply #4. Posted on May 05, 2009, 01:10:37 PM by Christian Soldier
I had always thought that the first American rodeo was held in Deer Trail, Colorado on Independence Day, 1869; and that the Lone Star version of rodeo was an imitation of the vaquero pastimes already well established by the Mexicans, who were the first to settle in Texas.  Anyway, Hercules can surely wrangle!
Re: Hercules vs. the Hydra (Capsule Review)
Reply #5. Posted on May 06, 2009, 05:45:02 PM by BoyScoutKevin
I had always thought that the first American rodeo was held in Deer Trail, Colorado on Independence Day, 1869; and that the Lone Star version of rodeo was an imitation of the vaquero pastimes already well established by the Mexicans, who were the first to settle in Texas.  Anyway, Hercules can surely wrangle!

Much of what Christian Soldier posted is true, so thank you for that correction to my previous post. I guess it all depends upon how you define the term "rodeo," as it was originally based on cattle herding techniques from Spain, which then were turned into informal events in the 1820s and 1830s in Mexico and the American southwest as the vaqueros and cowboys of that era competed to see who was best. These then emerged into the first "formal" rodeo which was held in Cheyenne, Wyoming in 1872. But, Prescott, Arizona has a claim with the first "professional" rodeo in 1888, when admission was charged and trophies were awarded. But, not a word about Texas. Thank-you again Christian Soldier for calling my attention to my previous post, so it could be corrected.
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FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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