Welcome b-movie fan. Here is a safe place to indulge in your more unsavory cinematic tastes. You watch them after family members go to bed, your significant other screws up their face in disgust every time you linger over Gymkata. Once, a friend even hit you for renting something really awful. That is all going to change. Here is a website where you can read reviews, talk with other b-movie fans, and glorify the genre. I am Andrew Borntreger, I am with the government, and I am here to help.
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A young man discovers that his girlfriend is a sea devil, that Satan has a pet sea turtle, and that Carl Weathers is a direct descendant of Captain Ahab.
Lesson Learned:
- Always, always, always, always buy the biggest boat that you can afford; then start saving money for an even bigger boat.
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Sweet shape-changing mother of political satire pain! Dean Stockwell stars as a White House Press Secretary whose werewolf alter ego likes to gnaw on the drunken, stout wives of Supreme Court nominees.
Lesson Learned:
- Forgetting to shave your forehead is a sure fire way to ruin a romantic candlelight dinner.
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This monster-in-a-mine movie follows the standard checklist without flaw. However, the stop-motion horror is a real humdinger, because it looks like a woo mama. I had no idea that those grew that big!
Lesson Learned:
- Plastic explosive is indistinguishable from Amish Friendship Bread starter.
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Where else can you watch a mascara-wearing David Hasselhoff fight stop motion robots with a lightsaber?
- Starcrash
The Ymir eats sulfur and is docile unless poked. It only wants to be left alone, but people and dogs insist on doing the one thing that annoys a Ymir. That is right; they poke it.
- 20 Million Miles to Earth
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| SCREENERS |
Due to the volume of submissions, I am unable to accept screeners for review.
This is a pity, because I have seen a number of hidden gems via screeners. On the other hand, I have also been subjected to true torture by certain sadistic director/producers.
Information about new films can be posted in the Press Releases and News section of the forum. | |
| WEBMASTER'S NOTES |
For best viewing use at least 1024X768 resolution and true color. The site has been tested with Firefox, IE, Mozilla, and Opera.
Due to weird b-movie stuff, this website is intended for teens and older. There are currently ZERO bare breasts on this website.
(Unless a stripper is lying on the server.) | |
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