Welcome b-movie fan. Here is a safe place to indulge in your more unsavory cinematic tastes. You watch them after family members go to bed, your significant other screws up their face in disgust every time you linger over Gymkata. Once, a friend even hit you for renting something really awful. That is all going to change. Here is a website where you can read reviews, talk with other b-movie fans, and glorify the genre. I am Andrew Borntreger, I am with the government, and I am here to help.
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In this unauthorized Italian sequel to "Alien" a group of spelunking bowlers (Or are they bowling spelunkers?) discover that their favorite cave and favorite bowling alley are infested with alien monsters that hatch from rocks.
Lesson Learned:
- Spelunking is an important branch of physics.
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Tarkan is a string bean with a moustache, the Vikings wear pastel bath rugs instead of furs, and there is even a real, live inflatable octopus. This movie is almost 100% pure kitsch.
Lesson Learned:
- The dog is mightier than the sword.
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When angel dust dealers move into his neighborhood, Rudy Ray Moore becomes the avenging disco godfather of legend. Yes, he avenges his nephew. Yes, he is a godfather. And yes, dear God, there is disco.
Lesson Learned:
- During the 1970's the difference between business formal and business casual was the size of the collar.
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Where else can you watch a mascara-wearing David Hasselhoff fight stop motion robots with a lightsaber?
- Starcrash
The Ymir eats sulfur and is docile unless poked. It only wants to be left alone, but people and dogs insist on doing the one thing that annoys a Ymir. That is right; they poke it.
- 20 Million Miles to Earth
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| SCREENERS |
Due to the volume of submissions, I am unable to accept screeners for review.
This is a pity, because I have seen a number of hidden gems via screeners. On the other hand, I have also been subjected to true torture by certain sadistic director/producers.
Information about new films can be posted in the Press Releases and News section of the forum. | |
| WEBMASTER'S NOTES |
For best viewing use at least 1024X768 resolution and true color. The site has been tested with Firefox, IE, Mozilla, and Opera.
Due to weird b-movie stuff, this website is intended for teens and older. There are currently ZERO bare breasts on this website.
(Unless a stripper is lying on the server.) | |
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