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THE ALIEN DEAD - Skull
Rated R
Copyright 1980 Firebird Pictures.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Tom Corman - Newpaper reporter, who needs a newspaper reporter in this hick town? Who can read anyway?
  • Shawn Michaels - Half-wit blonde living with her pappy. She's about 28 or so.
  • Miller - Game Warden and Biologist, oh boy. Eaten by zombies.
  • Emmett Michaels - Shawn's father who was in "The Big One" though he seems to be about 60. Let's see, 1988-1918=70, which means he was 9 years short of fetus status for WWI. Good old boy flavored zombie snack.
  • Sheriff Kowalski - Buster Crabbe! (He was Flash Gordon.) Half intelligible law enforcement at it's best.
  • Mr. and Mrs. Griffiths - Two poachers, Mrs. Griffiths makes it about 1 minute into the movie.
  • The Alien Dead - Terrible zombies created by a meteor crashing into a houseboat.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Ever want a film where actors in bad makeup just wander around eating people? Well here it is buddy. A houseboat is struck by a meteor which tranforms the victims into indestructable zombies. Nothing hurts these things, except a boat oar - shoot the corpse all day with no effect but clobber it with a stick and you're home free. Zombies infest the movie's swamp, chewing up poachers and skinny-dipping women alike until the main characters find out, then they come out of the swamp and start eating people. Emmett is a welcome breath of air, the old man's grumpy demeanor and quotes are a saving grace. Thank goodness nearly everyone falls prey to the ravenous creatures but unfortunately Tom and Shawn escape in a rowboat. And the story ends! Nothing, no resolution! Hullo! Plot guy! You're fired, pack your bags buddy - you'll never work for this crappy film studio again.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Sheriffs are in charge of rebuilding bridges.
  • Zombies are worse about rooting in trash than racoons.
  • Aliens like to cop a feel when killing a girl.
  • Deputies a really dumb, we're talking mongoloid here.
  • Elderly women always carry frying pans.
  • If you are in possession of an axe, when attacked by zombies, use it.
  • Some girls look better when they're not facing you.
  • Being choked to death or having your arm eaten causes you to spit up blood.
  • Sparklers make good stand in effects for a falling meteor.
  • Zombies are impervious to shotgun rounds, bullets, or explosives but not spearguns or boat oars.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - Why does it sound like someone farting in a tub while we watch footage of space?
  • 10 mins - Stuck to the seat were we? (You'd have see the scene and hear the sound.)
  • 16 mins - Focus... ...ahm... ...focus... ...focus damn it!
  • 25 mins - This band's lead singer must be a ventriloquist.
  • 28 mins - Half a person is breathing? And the dog's eating it too.
  • 33 mins - The boat sounds just like a chainsaw.
  • 38 mins - That's the same boat Tom and Shawn had earlier but now these two hicks must have bought it. Should have purchased the motor too.
  • 41 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
  • 71 mins - The truck is on a two lane paved road, no - a dirt road, no - a one lane paved road. Hey, what gives?

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note aliendead1.wav Emmett: "Everybody's always wanting to know about the big one. You know what I tell em?"
Tom: "No sir."
Emmett: "I tell em, Eddie Rickenbacher was a son of a bitch and you ought to mind your own damn business!"
Green Music Note aliendead2.wav Tom: "What do you think about Shawn?"
Shawn: "I dunno, growing up, getting out of the swamp, eating hamburgers, stuff like that."
Green Music Note aliendead3.wav Tom: "Sheriff are you nuts? You'll have a swampful of hicks out here shooting at each other if you do that."
Sheriff: "Shooting at... ...let me tell you something boy. Better shooting out here in the swamp then in town there. What do you want me to do? Go out there, go out there and get bit by all them mosquitos?"
Green Music Note aliendead4.wav Tom: "That meteorite didn't kill those people, it turned them in to a bunch of God-damned monsters!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

ImageImage


ImageImage


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipaliendead1.mpg - 2.1m
This idiot just keeps looking at the camera! You also have to wonder why she spits up blood, as if her lung were punctured, when they are eating her limbs.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 [2] 3
The Alien Dead
Reply #9. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Terry
I was in this film.  I'm the guy in the screen shot second from the left (31K).  Really.  This was filmed in a tiny town called Oviedo west of Orlando, FL.  Two of the other amatuer actors in the film was the current (at the time) chief of police and the retired chief of police of Oviedo. (they were both likeable guys, btw.)  When the 'premiere' was held I went to it hoping for something watchable. When the film was over the chief and retired chief stood around with big grins on there faces saying, "yeah, yeah, that wasn't too bad."  If I had brought a paper bag with me I would have put it over my head while I ran to my car to escape being seen in the same neighborhood with this 'film'.
The Alien Dead
Reply #10. Posted on November 02, 2001, 10:14:08 AM by dan
This movie is a classic B-movie.  It maybe one of the funniest things i have ever seen.  If you want another good one, watch Wizard of Gore.
The Alien Dead
Reply #11. Posted on April 14, 2002, 01:10:26 PM by Tim W
I think I noticed 2 things with this movie. When your car breaks down, the roof will catch fire along with the side. And the girl from that car gets her right hand pulled off and eaten, but then she has it in a few seconds later. Pretty bad movie, although worth the 99 cents for a week i payed.
The Alien Dead
Reply #12. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by log
Ok . First things first , really really bad movie . I saw it about 2 years ago and have never forgotten it. 2nd  I want to point out that in the clip you have for download . Notice the zombie guy behind all the others . notice where he points his hand on the girl who's being "consumed" . yup he puts it right on her crotch and gives it a squeeze ! Now see the girl's reaction she smiles when he does it and trurns away from the camera . My girlfriend at the time noticed it when we saw it 2 years ago. And i just found it funny of all the scenes in the movie that this is the 1 to dl . lol good choice now go dl it and see ;)
The Alien Dead
Reply #13. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM by So bad, it rocks!
First, I read the review for this movie and knew right away that I had to see it. The old man and that stupid deputy steal the show! Well, I attached a VCR to my computer, ripped the tape to a MPEG and burned to DVD. WOW! Such a hilariously stupid movie in full color, full screen digital video! What more can you ask for! Well, whenever you have a really bad day, feel down and depressed about life and think things could not get any worse, just go ahead, pop in this movie, laugh your azz off and everything just seems to be not so bad anymore!
:-)
The Alien Dead
Reply #14. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Inframan
Ok, I still haven't seen this one but its on my list. I did just see BIOHAZARD, by the same director. It has something to do with a psycic chick and a monster that's about as big as a 2nd grader that kills hillbilly's and hobos. Good stuff.

It was so bad that my IQ dropped as the movie ended. I can't wait to make my friends watch it.
The Alien Dead
Reply #15. Posted on April 13, 2005, 10:54:10 PM by Dagon
I rented this movie many, many years ago because the title interested me. I was exposed to possibly the worst movie ever made which left me bitter and very angry.
The Alien Dead
Reply #16. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by No one important
I have just received this movie and can't wait to watch it, it really cant be that bad.
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